Teeny Tiny Pretty Little Thunder Fists

This is the story of how "the sweetest girl in town" punched someone in the face. 

...yes, that would be me. 

I am not one for advocating violence. Ever. And I'm not a violent person. Sure I've had my share of play fights and brawling with my 6'0" guy friend back in Edmonton, but that's all fun and games. 

So how did sweet little happy, positive, pro-love, pro-hugs me end up punching a guy in the face? Well, let me tell you a little story.

My Halloween was awesome (see this post). I had so much fun and it was a perfect night... almost. There was one bump in the night and it still kind of rattles my nerves. I'm not holding onto anything, because I just don't do that but I feel like it was a huge offence against women and that this story should be shared for a couple of reasons. Okay, this is what happened...

It's past 2am and we hit up this little after party downtown. There was a DJ and lots of dancing and lots more fun. So I'm happily dancing away and having a blast with my friends when all of a sudden, out of no where, SLAP! Someone decides to slap my ass. I'm not talking about a little tap (although even that is not okay), I'm talking about a full-on SLAP! Hard! I turned around, fuming of course, to find two guys standing behind me. I was ready to knock both their teeth in (apparently violence was my immediate reaction, I think it's self-defence mentality) but I didn't know which one had done it and I didn't have it in me to punch the wrong guy. I told them one better fess up but both cowardly did not. I don't easily get pissed off--you know, Positive Mental Attitude advocate, Happy, free-spirited girl that I am--however I was pretty upset. But I think I had good reason to. What the guy did was not okay. I don't care what a girl is wearing, she has a right to dance without getting her ass slapped by some creepo perve. We are not getting all dressed up for guys (wake up call to the men out there that think otherwise), we are getting dressed up for OurSelves! Because it's fun! Especially on Halloween, it is fun to dress up! And while I don't think my outfit was "slutty" (Cory said it kinda was) because I was Leeloo and, again, fun, I don't think it matters what I was wearing that night, getting slapped should not have happened. I felt violated. It IS sexual assault. Hate to break it to the dumb-ass guys out there. Cory even pointed out that I could have pressed charges--had I not punched him in the face--but I didn't know his name or anything else so pressing charges would have been difficult. Still, it would have been nice to. 

Well, anyways, getting back to the actual story, I couldn't bring myself to punch the wrong guy. I would have felt awful, and to me, morally wrong. However, fortunately for me, a lovely girl beside me did see which guy slapped my behind--which was funny because after it had happened and I was trying to decide which guy to punch, I had thought to myself "someone must have seen which guy did it!" I was so grateful that she saw and I even asked her several times to make sure she was certain--again I didn't want to punch the wrong guy. 

So I stomped back over there, wound up and punched the guy square in the face. He was a big boy and he stumbled a bit. I have a hard punch (so I've  been told by all the play-fights). I'm not going to lie, it felt great to do it. I wanted to let him know that what he did was not okay. He looked absolutely shocked, I don't think he thought there would be consequences to his actions. 

Sadly, I think that guys get away with this kind of stuff entirely too often. And, again, it's not okay. What I did wasn't just for me. It was for Cory (my husband, who wasn't there, and if he was boy would that have gone a lot messier than it did). But mostly it was for all the women out there who have had the same thing happen to them. I truly felt like this was a violation against women.

There was one thing that really threw me off that night though as well. After I punched the guy and walked back over to my friends, one of his female friends came up to me and asked me "Why did you punch so-and-so in the face?" When I told her it was because he slapped my ass and that that's not okay, she replied with "So what?" 

So what??? Has it really become okay in our society for a guy to walk up to a girl and slap her ass? Is that really not an offence to women? Are women really demeaning themselves to that level? What because in stupid MTV music videos women are treated as objects to which men can do whatever they want with? Women are not objects! And it truly saddens me to think that there are women out there that can possibly say "So What?" to something like this. Stick up for yourself! Let guys know that this is not okay! Because it is Not okay. And they shouldn't get away with it. I'm happy to think that this guy will think twice the next time he decides to do something like this. Just because I'm a "cute little 5'3" chick" doesn't mean I'm not going to stick up for myself. 

Guys don't be demeaning jerks. Women, stick up for yourselves and let it be known that we are not objects and things like this are not okay. 

And that is the story of how I became named "Teeny Tiny Pretty Little Thunder Fists."

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I witnessed Something today...People Approving Abuse.

I witnessed something today. Something amazingly simple yet so profound. I witnessed child abuse.

Abuse is a topic that hits close to home for lots of people, myself included, which is why it really rattles my nerves. I personally have zero tolerance for it. End of story. But an experience I had opened my eyes to something I had not really noticed before. Perhaps I feel compelled to share this story because you don't actually often see abuse happening right before your eyes. Or perhaps it was the mere alarm and disappointment I had by people's reactions.

It's strange to think that you could experience something so unsettling when doing something as simple as going out to a movie. My husband and I experienced just this.

A father has his son cornered against the wall. Tears are in the 14-year old's eyes, though you can tell he's trying to hold them back. He looks frightened. Fury, anger; a power-trip rages in the Father. He says he's going to smack the child across the face.

People are standing around; watching, knowing that it's wrong, but are doing nothing.

Apparently this display has been going on for twenty minutes by the time we enter. Twenty minutes of people watching a Man verbally abuse and threaten his son, and, essentially, approving it.

(Cory--my husband):

What is everyone scared of? I know I'm not. I took a stand today. I hope I made the right call. Perhaps it wasn't my call to make. I did what I hope someone would do for me in the same situation. I know if I were to close my eyes and pretend like it didn't happen I might as well be the criminal.

Part of a note he wrote regarding the situation, and how he was the only one to actually confront the Man. He called the man on his actions, told him that what he was doing was not OK. He tried to do something about it, took a stand against what everyone else was just standing and silently but blatantly watching.

Watching abuse happen and doing nothing is telling the abuser that you are supporting their actions. Not only are you telling the abuser that it is OK to be verbally abusive and threatening, but you are telling the abused that as well.

We are the voices of our society. And we can not keep supporting this behaviour. Putting a stop to Abuse is like anything else, you have to have a voice. And you have to say No.

Child abusers need to know that it can not and will not be tolerated. I did something today that I hope will inspire change. Maybe not for everyone but maybe for one.

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