In general people focus on negativities far too often. One of those negativities is that we see the faults in others before we see the positive and good in that person. Perhaps it's because we strive to feel better about ourselves, so if we can make others look bad then it makes us feel better about our own faults.
Here's the reality that we need to accept and get over so that we can be more kind to ourselves and to others...
No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
We shouldn't have to explain ourselves to anyone. The point of making mistakes is that we grow and learn from them (hopefully). There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. The sooner we get over this the less judgmental we'll learn to be with ourselves and with others.
The other downside to this negative mentality is that we spend so much time focussing on other's faults that we don't focus and accept our own, which are the ones we actually have control over. It becomes our distraction, but this distraction keeps us from improving and becoming a better person. Quit being so judgmental and hypocritical. Chances are if there's a negative aspect your focussed on in another person, it's a direct reflection of one of your own faults or inner turmoils that you're trying to feel better about. It comes down to that positive or negative mental attitude. When you give yourself the time to examine your attitude you should be quick to realize that it is negative. When you are having such a conflict with another person, more often than not, the problem you have is not really with that person, it is with yourself. Taking the time to solve your own problem you will find that you no longer have a problem with them.
"When I am faced with a problem that involves misunderstandings with other persons, I must first start with myself."
Think about why you're being hypocritical, think about why you are feeling this way and work on that instead of taking it out on someone else. Think before you speak. It comes back to responsibility, accepting blame, and working on your own life instead of trying to control others and telling someone else how to live their lives. Live your life the way you see fit and let others live theirs as they see fit. This doesn't mean you can't tell others helpful suggestions or opinions, but there is a difference between being helpful or being an ignorant nag. Come from a place of genuine love and caring. And vise-versa; if someone gives you some advice we usually automatically get defensive, so stop first and consider another's viewpoint. There's usually at least a little reality to be taken and self-improvement is always good for the soul. Don't get defensive, take everything with a grain of salt, and be open-minded and receptive and loving.
Don't be a hypocrite and don't be judgmental.
Start focusing on the positive aspects of another instead of looking for or dwelling on the faults.
No one's perfect and everyone makes mistakes. That does not mean anyone is a "bad" person. All people have the potential of beauty in their character if given a chance, sometimes they just need to be shown that compassion and love to unveil it. Life is beautiful. Mistakes are beautiful and help us grow.
Don't be so hard on others or on yourself and learn to look for the beauty and good in another. As such, practice this with yourself just as much, if not more. If you can learn to be loving, accepting, and non-judgmental with yourself, it will become easier and more natural to do so with others. Come from a place of love and understanding and let go of judgment and condescending. These are negatives that will not benefit yourself or those around you.
Always remember; strive to be see, live, and breathe positivity. Be patient and understanding of others. Everyone is on their own journey and everyone has their own reasoning behind their choices and actions. Be accepting of that. It is not your place to be judgmental. Trust that people have their reasons and that you may not always understand. And that's okay, you don't have to. If it is not your situation then you cannot possibly fully understand, and, again, that is okay. What you do need to understand is just that; you can't understand everything so don't judge and don't be disrespectful.
No one is perfect. And we are perfectly imperfect in that. Learn from your mistakes and live your life from a place of love instead of hate. Be compassionate, be loving, be accepting, be respectful, and be understanding. Be you and be patient and let go of judgment.
Peace & Love
xo
~Bianca
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