☺ How to Create an Awesome 2015! ☺

 {Kindra Nikole Photography}

*This post was originally posted January 2014, reposting for the 2015 New Year Kick-Off!*

Hello beautiful New Year! 

How exciting! A fresh start, a fresh new page in this book of Life! 

First and foremost, I hope you all have set some awesome intentions for your new year; I hope that you are filled to the brim with positive change in mind, with love, with hope, with the courage to walk the path of your dreams! With this in mind, I wanted to make a list of reminders and tips of how to truly and fully make your dreams and intentions a reality, and where the bumps can often arise along the way so that you are armed and prepared for the best year ever! Because a New Year has the profound opportunity for you to make your life magical, to make a fresh start, to make the changes you want and to really set those amazing intentions into action, However, none of this happens unless You make it happen.

Cleaning the Slate.

A New Year doesn't magically clean the slate. It doesn't magically make everything okay again. It's really just one new day. BUT, you can make it the first step towards your happiness and bliss. That one step is so important, but the motivation and courage to follow is even more important. You get to create the momentum of your life and to guide it into a positive direction; to welcome love and gratitude and all good things into your life. Now, with this, you cannot simply brush all the mess of your life beneath a rug and expect it to stay there. If you want change then you must make it happen. If you want a clean slate then you must actually resolve the past. 

I speak about this from a place of deep deep knowing, from the experiences of my own life, from observing the lives of others, and from this journey that continually surprises me with lessons. Taking the steps to Heal Yourself are steps that cannot be overlooked. All the positive thinking, the optimism, the smiling, and love in the world will not mend the holes that have already been made in your heart and mind; these are things that you must address, that you must take charge over, and that you must find true resolve in. Only then can you mend that broken heart and live your life without that burden. If you don't, they will arise again and wreck havoc on all the work you make towards your happiness. This is a most valuable lesson, and I share this with you today because I want you to find resolve, to welcome all the good in your life that you deserve, and to truly start your new year right: without the burden of your past to weigh in your heart.

There are many ways that you can do this, but I encourage you to do it right. And by do it right, I encourage you to see a councillor, a therapist, someone who can really help to heal you. EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) changed my life. And EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is another method that can heal old wounds. These are the only two methods, that I know of at this time, that will truly and purely heal those wounds, to mend those wires in your brain that attach the past to negative feelings and reactions. Both of these methods work by activating pressure points and different sides of your brain to become okay with trauma, problems, and even physical blockages in your body. 

While EFT is very new to me, I am very excited to be trying and experimenting with this more. And it is even something you can do yourself at home--though I encourage a session with someone who knows what they're doing so that you understand the pressure points and wording to use this method properly. 

EMDR, I know works, because it was one of the most healing experiences of my life that allowed me to put a rather tumultuous past behind me. After I was done this session, I literally felt as if I was walking on clouds, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from within my soul. I would not be where I am today if it weren't for this experience. This new year, I intend to do another sessions as soon as possible, as there are issues that have risen that I did not resolve, or was not so aware of, the first time I did EMDR with my councillor several years ago. 

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of resolving your past. And I mean Really Resolving your past. I've seen the past wreck havoc on my own life and the lives of people around me, and, so, addressing problems before they grow into something much less manageable is vital. If there is one lesson I could give you this new year it would be to do it Now.  

ReCreate Yourself; Be Yourself.

New Year's resolutions often come with some sort of personal or physical changes we want to see in ourselves. You Do get to recreate yourself. Every single day. And I encourage you to do so. Because it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself; to come into yourself, to be the greatest and truest version of yourself, whatever that might be at the time and know that it may, and very likely will, change with time. 

Allow yourself to change, allow your opinions to change, your dreams to change, your life to change. Change is a natural and wonderful part of life, learn not to resist it and instead embrace all that it carries with it. No one should want to remain stagnant. Be the person you're meant to be! 

Work on Yourself Every Day.

Every day is a profound opportunity to make changes, to take charge, and to be the change you wish to see in your life and in the world. However, all those things you want to accomplish won't happen unless you make them happen, and this requires an every day action. It shouldn't be a chore, it should feel inspiring, uplifting, motivating and exciting! And those actions every day can be as simple as making yourself smile, to repeating affirmations, to speaking words of gratitude. The importance is to cultivate positive thoughts, feelings, and emotions to fuel the passions of your life and to attract greatness into your life. 

Don't be Afraid of Failure.

You will fail. You will fall on the ground and kick and scream and have breakdowns, and cry, and be angry and frustrated. But you will also climb back up, be awesome, inspired, happy, motivated, and all the more powerful if you let yourself climb back up after every fall. Falls are inescapable. We all stumble, we all fail, we all make mistakes. These are vital lessons and important steps in life. Don't resist them, simply allow them to happen, learn the lesson, and move onward. 

The fear of failure should never be a reason not to do something. Inner instincts can tell us when something is wrong or should be avoided, but fear of failure should simply never be a reason not to do something. So charge headfirst, take risks, take chances, be bold, and step out of your comfort zone! 

Make a List.

If there is something you want, don't forget to write it down. This is why creating a Vision Board is such a powerful tool, because you place your wants and dreams into action. Writing things down makes them twice as likely to come true. Getting specific with what you want is even more powerful. If you want that dream job, partner, friend, or whatever it is your heart desires, make a list and be as specific as possible. Write down every detail. If it's a job, write down the hours you want to work, the responsibilities you want, the sort of work your job entails, the happiness and freedom you want from it, your wage, and so forth. If it's a partner or friend, write down characteristics, details, activities you want to do with this person. Get as detailed as possible! And, last but not least, make sure you have made room in your life to accept those things into your world. The Law of Attraction is a useful tool, learn about it and cultivate it into your life to make magic happen. 

Live the Life You Want.

In life, we make far too many sacrifices. We talk ourselves down from things that we want and deserve. Often times, we aren't honest with ourselves at all about what we want for ourselves, of what we need to grow, of what we need to do for ourselves to be happy. This year, I challenge you to really discover yourself; to let the walls down, to see yourself truly, and to be honest with yourself with what you want. No more excuses, no more tiptoeing. If you want something, claim it, make it your own. Live the life of your dreams and don't let anyone or anything stop you! Have the courage to say yes and to make your dreams a reality. 

Don't belittle your dreams, don't feel selfish or needy. Be Honest with yourself! You are allowed to ask and want amazing things in your life. So do! And remember that you Deserve Happiness and Love. 

Be Grateful, Be Happy.

More than anything else, be Grateful. Gratitude is the single biggest key to living an awesome life--regardless of anything else around you. By being grateful we harness appreciation for ourselves and the lives we already have, and we open the door to even greater things by doing so. Gratitude cultivates love and happiness. Gratitude is the greatest key, use it daily! 

I wish you all a very happy new year filled with adventure, love, laughs, excitement, and change! Be bold, be yourself, and have courage! 

So much love from me to you! 

Create an amazing day, and create an amazing life! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ How to Survive and Enjoy the Holidays! ☺

*Originally posted December 2013--coming back for some Holiday Cheer! ;)*

. . . . . . . . . .

Christmas, it's the most wonderful time of the year! Or at least… it's supposed to be. All in all, the holiday season can be a bit dodgy. If your family is dysfunctional then chances are that it gets brought out that much more during the holiday season. Then there's all the money being spent and presents to buy and plans to make that can cause some more stress. However, truthfully, stress is always there, it's whether or not we are choosing to draw it out or let it slide off our backs and keep smiling. I'm rooting for the latter. And in rooting for the latter, I propose…

Tips for Surviving the Holiday Season (with a great big smile on your face!)

☺ Remember to Breathe! 

Perhaps the most valuable and helpful thing you can do this chaotic time of year is to just simply take a step back and remember to breathe. Take a time out. Focus on your breath, clear your mind, and try smiling. Sometimes all you need is a couple of minutes to recuperate and find your centre, other times you may need a couple of hours; but however long it may be, take that for yourself, because things will flow a lot more smoothly when you centre and balance yourself. 

And be sure to brew a pot of herbal tea, sit down with a book or magazine and just take a break from the world every now and then. 

      

☺ Drop Expectations!

Despite what we may so desperately want to believe at times, christmas day and the holidays are never perfect. Not setting yourself up for disappointment is important. That being said, I'm not encouraging you to mope around and accept that the holidays suck and are joyless. No, no, no. Instead, enjoy what's in front of you and make the most and best of it all, just know that things can go wrong and things are never perfect; but those stresses and disappointments can vanish away when you focus on joy, and of being around loved ones. So that doesn't mean you can't still have a damn amazing christmas, it's all in your perception and being happy with what Is!

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

☺ Choose to Enjoy the Holiday Season!

Reality is what we make it. Perception is everything. We may not have control over many things in life, but what we do have control over is how we deal with things. Be realistic and optimistic. For instance: it's a busy time of year, so know and prepare yourself that the stores are going to be busier and lineups may take longer; traffic may be slower; and other unexpected things can happen. But you can control your mood and decide your happiness. Set your mind on Enjoying the Holiday Season and you will! Look around and recognize the beauty around you. In family or other social gatherings, avoid the people you have a hard time with and spend more time with the people you like. Focus on joy and you will make it your experience. 

☺ (re)Read ReLove's post "Holiday Season; Stress, Family, & Bringing Back the Magic"!  

I wrote this post two years ago and I find it relevant every holiday season. Sadly, family can be such a stressor and this post addresses this and how you can get through the holiday season with more joy and realizing that no one's family is perfect, and that's okay. 

http://www.reloveplanet.com/2011/12/making-holidays-magical-stress-free.html   

☺ Take care of Yourself! 

I know it's the time of year when we tend to drink more, eat foods we shouldn't, splurge, and generally neglect actually caring for ourselves a bit (or a lot). I'm not saying don't enjoy those things, but remember to do everything in moderation and to take special care to balance things out when you do. Don't act like those things won't effect your health. 

I like to recommend taking these extra steps to maintain health of your body and your mind; exercise daily (even if its taking a walk), gets lots of rest and sleep, take a multi-vitamin (and/or a B-complex, Vitamin C & magnesium, and D Drops), drink Lots of water, smile lots (I call this smile therapy), and balance out your eating habits by consuming extra veggies, greens, healthy proteins, and fresh juice when you can.   

☺ Have a Healthy Christmas! 

Ah the Holiday season, time to stuff our faces full of sugar and bad-for-you food. Did I mention this already? Oh no, silly me. But! It needs emphasis! Now, I'm not saying it's not fun to indulge a little, but you Can enjoy the holiday season treats and still actually be healthy--who knew?! There are so many healthy and amazingly delicious recipe alternatives to butter and wheat and sugar filled crap that your body wants nothing to do with. Why sacrifice the love of your body and health when you don't have to? Try new recipes, try something different, and fall in love with healthy food--I promise you won't regret it! 

Replace gmo for organic. Replace the turkey for vegetarian and vegan alternatives--or if you're not going to replace the turkey, then offer more vegan alternatives for the health-conscious guests. Make your own egg nog! Replace refined sugar with organic cane sugar, stevia, agave, maple syrup, or anything other than refined sugar! 

Indulging is fun, and you can still do it by all means, but choose the healthier options, because they are still ridiculously delicious and your body and mind and health will thank you for it! 

     

☺ Exercise! 

Oh dear, I mentioned this one already too, didn't I? Well! It's pretty easy to fall out of exercise habits during this time of year, and I'm not here to tell you not to take it easy, but, you should still put in some effort for your health--especially if you plan on stuffing yourself full of unhealthy food. Do some yoga sessions; this will also help to centre and calm your busy mind. Go for a twenty minute walk, that's all you really need. Get together with some friends and play ice hokey, go snowshoeing, skiing, snowboarding, ice skating. Dance around your living room while you crank terrible pop music and do some baking. ;) Just get at least a little active; again, your body And Mind will thank you!   

☺ Be a Kid! 

I think part of the magic of christmas is the nostalgia of childhood, and so what a perfect excuse to be a big kid! If you have younger siblings, or nieces or nephews, or grandkids, or kids of your own, then be a kid with them: be silly, be giddy, and laugh a lot. Personally, I plan on watching cartoons on christmas day with family, a little piece of my childhood--hoorah!    

☺ Be Giving!

Part of the joys of gifts around the holidays is the actual Giving. I love the giving far more than the receiving. But there are those that have a hard time during the holidays and don't get to take part in the love of receiving either. Do your soul some good and be a little extra giving. Buy gifts for unexpected strangers, or those you know need it; sponsor a family for christmas to buy their presents who can't afford it; volunteer at the soup kitchen; go out and give meals to the homeless; volunteer at an animal shelter. Do your part and spread a little extra joy!  

☺ Have a Green Christmas!

With climate change taunting us at every turn, I think it's important to consider being green this holiday season. I mean, egypt had snow for the first time in over 100 years! And all the madness we are seeing around the world should scream that action needs to be taken by each and every one of us. 

So! Check out ReLove's Holiday Green Tips! Simple and easy switches and things you can do to make your holiday season that much more respectful to mother earth and the animals that live here! ;) Every action counts! 

ReLove's Holiday Green Tips: http://www.reloveplanet.com/2011/12/be-change-holiday-season-green-tips.html

Also, consider Gifts that Give Back: http://www.reloveplanet.com/2010/11/wednesday-favorites-gifts-that-give.html

☺ Respect Your Self! 

I feel like this needs special emphasis at this time of year. Be kind and loving towards yourself. You are not here for people to walk all over you, know when to remove yourself from a situation or when someone has crossed the line with you. You can still respect and be kind to other people and still respect and be kind to yourself. Remember that.  

☺ Give out Free Hugs! 

Remember, because it's just that caring time of year. Spread love and joy onto others, it could remind them to smile and of the beauty that exists in the world. So go out and give out a few random hugs to strangers--and of course the people you love. 

☺ Don’t isolate yourself.  

Being an introvert myself, too many social events and busy busy go-go time can definitely overload the circuits. Which is why Point #1 of this post is so vital. That being said, for those feeling depressed or in grief, a sense of loneliness often becomes stronger during the holidays. That’s why it’s important to break out of any self-imposed exile. Accept invitations, do some volunteer work, call up good friends, Do socialize, and try not to spend too much time by yourself.

☺ Rely on YourSelf for Happiness! 

Remember that no one is responsible for your own happiness but You. Happiness is not something to chase after or that you "achieve." It is not something that can be bought, found in expensive "things" you don't need. And you certainly should not or cannot rely on another person for your Happiness. Only You are responsible for making yourself Happy, because Happiness comes from within. And because Happiness is a Choice. 

Wishing you all a magical and joyful Holiday Season! Keep those smiles brimming and joy spilling over to those around you! :)  

Much love from me to you! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ Video Blogs: Actively Participating in Your Own Happiness--and what it brought me ☺

Today I thought I would share with you the last few video blogs I posted up on my channel. In one I speak more of Actively Participating in Your Own Happiness, as well as how this helped me to step into this new life chapter I'm in now. It was important to me to share my story, to share the fears and anxieties I experienced before being able to make such bold and huge life changes--to let others know that what they are going through may be normal and that you are not alone. I also wanted to share these things because seeing how much my life has changed and how happy I am now I hope would provide some inspiration and courage in your own lives. Sharing bits and pieces of my life and my story are always fun to me for these reasons; if I can change someone else's life, spark up a fire back in your own soul, or help you in any way then I feel like my work serves a greater purpose--and therefore my own story serves a greater purpose, which it does in each of us. Never underestimate the power of your own life and your own story. It is magical, it is gifted, and you gift the world by being in it. 

Anyway, please enjoy my rambling video blogs for now. ;)  

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

. . . . . . . . . .

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

. . . . . . . . . .

Wooohoo! It's Monday! Happy Happy Happy Monday!! 

☺ Law of Attraction Tip: Pay attention to what is reoccurring in your life, what is present currently--for both the highs and the lows. Those are the things you talk and/or complain about the most, that is why they show up in your life. If there is a lack in your life in some area, then pay attention to what it is you speak and think most about. Thoughts become things! Turn it around with Gratitude--the best key in the world!   

☺ Love Love Love! Spread Love. Be Loving. Express only Love. When in doubt, ask yourself: "what would love do?" "Am I being loving?" (loving means both to yourself and the people around you--don't exclude yourself out of the equation!                  

☺ Go on a Photo Expedition! It's fall, it's beautiful! The leaves are changing colour and fluttering down from the treetops, fresh to be kicked around and played in. Get outside and go on a photo expedition. Take photos of the leaves, the sky, the trees, the people, the animals, and any random opportunity along your way. Make it a little adventure this week! 

☺ Be Proactive About Your Happiness! I recently did a video blog on this topic, because I have a lot to say about it ;) I also wrote a "life reflections" post somewhat on the topic. Being proactive about your Happiness means getting off your butt and doing something about it. Misery is easy, but so is happiness--it requires the same energy, it merely takes that push and motivation to get on the happy side some times. If you want to be happy, then Do Something about it!      

☺ Don't Forget to Dance! I like to think of dancing as dance therapy some days. It's the perfect mood lifter, the perfect opportunity to shake off some negative vibes and be a little extra silly and spontaneous and fun. How can you not smile when you start jumping around, busting out dance moves? I know I can't! So don't forget to take plenty of dance breaks throughout your day, whether it be one minute or an hour, get yourself hoppin' and movin'! ;)                     

☺ Take Action in Your Life. It's easy to feel stuck in one spot when inaction plagues you. You go back and forth a million times on what to do, what course of action to take, or simply make a mess by running around in circles within your own mind. Break out of the cycle by taking action. Often we're afraid that we won't make the “right” decision, so we do nothing. Instead, think of it as a stepping stone to a place ahead of where you currently are that will give you new information that you can use to take more actions. 

☺ "The challenge is not to try and force life to unfold according to our whims, but to grow in trust,wisdom, self-love, and self worth so we become capable of surrender." 

Wishing you a lovely fall day! Get out there and share your smile with the world and yourself! :) 

Much love from me to you! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections} - Life is What You Make It

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

Life is What You Make It

Happiness has come much more easily these days, especially when I compare current state of affairs to the first half of 2014 and the later half of 2013. Oh the turbulence! I still cannot believe how many people I know (or, actually, just about Everyone I know) who are going through Huge life changes, rocky dilemmas, and ordeals of varying degrees and depths. What a strange year this has been. It continues to blow my mind. So many life-altering changes shaking our foundations and encouraging us to build new ones. Life is truly magical, if not incredibly trying at times. Chin up! Things are getting better for most of the people I know; I heard this crazy mercury in retrograde, or whatever other cosmic blame we have handy, is on its way out and things are bound to become more stable soon! This is the little bit of reassurance I wanted to pass along to anyone still enduring the turbulence of this year. That being said, reassurance is nice and all, but reassurance is nothing if you don't take a step up and take control of your own life. 

Ordeals happen. All the time. They can cripple us, or they can build us up. Your choice. People hate that this is their own choice. Hate, hate, hate. Taking responsibility for your own life can feel like such an arduous task. I mean, who has time for That?!… *extended pause*… Everyone should make room to better their lives. I don't care how busy your life is, squeeze in that sprinkle of happiness, that lesson on self-worth, that practice from all those life lessons you've read about. It's all in our hands. Well, that is: Our own Lives are in Our Own Hands. Only you are responsible for the make or break of your own story. You are the author, the poet, the artist, the dreamer and believer of your own future and present. 

Look at it this way: when we are handed a life ordeal, it is like being handed a sticky piece of playdoh. Sometimes when it is handed to us it has the shape of something unlikeable, perhaps even terrifying. Sometimes it's a bit tough to mould, or sometimes too sticky. But, despite any of that, what we do with that unlikeable shape is up to us. We can mould it into something new and beautiful, or we can keep poking it with a stick or ignoring it, and hope that it just fixes itself. Life takes work; but it's a good kind of work. The situations you are handed in life are malleable, so long as you Choose to do something with them. Every ordeal holds a lesson, and therefore something to allow you to grow. Working on your own sense of happiness and fulfillment is the most important work you will ever do, so don't neglect it! Be pro-active about your own life, circumstances, relationships, and situations. 

These are not new words for me to teach--or preach, if you choose to see it that way ;)--but they are valuable beyond measure. I speak them particularly at the moment because I can see what being pro-active in my own life has brought me (perhaps in comparison to some people I know who are less pro-active, or times in my own life when I was less pro-active). I have worked hard at my life; the happiness and state of mind that I have achieved did not happen by accident. I was a suicidal, depressed, self-loathing girl, constantly blaming everything outside myself, wallowing in my problems, and feeding the self-misery for years. The decision to change and be happy is the biggest one you will make, because if you make it with conviction and from the heart then things will start to fall into place; perhaps gradually and with much struggle in the beginning, but fall in place nonetheless. All of that pro-active work I took within my own life lead me to be as strong as I am today. I'm not perfect by a long-shot; it still takes me forever to make the right decisions for myself, I still cry, I still hurt, I still stumble and fall flat on my face. The biggest part that changed, I do believe, is my optimism, my resilience, and my persistence. During downward swings I can still manage to smile; and after however long it takes me in any given situation, I remember that I am Worthy, Valuable, and that I Deserve Happiness. That remembrance fuels the heart back into passion, and when we fuel the heart with that kind of fire, solutions begin to present themselves. 

If someone had told that depressed suicidal girl where I would be today, I would not have believed it were possible. At all. And even today, if someone had told me four months ago how much my life was going to have changed in this moment right now, I would not have believed them either. There are many parts in my present life that I desired for a long time, either close to the surface, fully aware, or in denial somewhere in the subconscious. But I wanted these things. I have them now. And I couldn't be happier--or mind blown. During these last three months I have moments of awe and disbelief about how dreamlike my life feels right now, of the man I am currently with, of the dreams I am achieving, and the life I am living. I have these moments multiple times Daily! That is how blessed and grateful I feel right now--and how much my mind is blown away by how much things can change! 

  

Life isn't perfect, however. There will always be ordeals, huge life bumps, curveballs, and challenges--again, such things never cease to amaze me, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere. Something in particular happened to me this week that caused a whirlwind of emotions. I went back and forth between negative emotions and being optimistic again like a swinging pendulum. This lasted a few days. In spite of this, I was still able to remain level-headed and focus on what I had to be grateful for. Even though it was a trying ordeal, I didn't allow myself to wallow in self-pity or any other emotion, for I don't leave room in my life to stay stuck in those sorts of emotions anymore. But they come up. Frustration and emotional distraught still bounce back and forth--and they should--while you come to terms and face any ordeal. It's a game of ping pong, but you always have the choice to keep batting away the negative emotions with positive ones until the positive ones win and the calm returns to your life. Gratitude is absolutely your best weapon in any trouble--I recommend using it all the time in every single situation that comes across your path. In the end, once we've allowed ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotions, we can only accept what has happened and make the best of it. There is no point in dragging out or holding onto negative emotions, so practice letting them go! Remember: Optimism and Gratitude, use them liberally and they will change your entire life, I promise you! 

  

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ Being Your Unfiltered Self ☺

Whenever there is one of those moments of life-realizations that jumps into my world it seems to become a reoccurring theme. Perhaps it's because my awareness has been tuned onto such an epiphany, or perhaps because it is something that I feel I really need to work on; more so, I believe it is because it is something that I Want to work on and situations begin to surround me to provide such opportunity to grow and learn. Regardless of reason, the topic of our "filtered" selves has been my recent reoccurrence. 

When you choose to be fully yourself, you often times can run into confrontational viewpoints from others. When we step into ourselves it's not always something that fits society, and therefore can make people uncomfortable, jealous, envious, or questioning. Even if it's not something that goes against the typical "norm" of society, society still teaches us to filter ourselves, that there are parts of ourselves that we should hide, that we should behave a certain way, that our emotions are often wrong. 

For myself, I am covered in tattoos, currently have pink hair, and have several piercings on my face; I dress somewhere between hippie, steampunk, punk, and casually "normal"--being a designer no doubt has an influence on my sense of ever-changing style. Because of these things, I'm not exactly a "normal" fit into our traditional bland society. For the most part, I embrace these sides of myself headstrong, positively, and with the upmost joy. And then I got to thinking… I Do filter myself. Even though I am covered in tattoos, when I am meeting certain people I start to dress differently. I love showing off my tattoos, not because I want to be showy but because I feel in my element and completely myself in the summer time wearing what I want when I want. But I filter myself around certain people. I might choose to wear something "pretty" or a little more "conservative" to offset the brash tattoos, piercings, and pink hair. It's not that I don't dress this way on some days regardless--it's not a "fake" side to me--but, in certain situations, I do so to seem more "normal". So, the realization dawned on me: I filter myself because all of a sudden I become self-conscious about Who I Am. My tattoos, my piercings, how I choose to dress may seem outward, even egotistical to some people, but for me they are self-expression (and I believe this is the same for many artistic, wondrous individuals). So why would I filter any part of myself because of another person? Fully stepping into Who I Am is important to me, it is something that I watch some people do seemingly so flawlessly (and perhaps people think I am the same way from the outside, I'm not sure), but I am envious and I strive to be so confident and comfortable. I filter myself when I think I need to try to impress someone, or downplay another person's perhaps more "traditional" or "normal" comfort-level of what people should look like. But that's not who I am. A filtered self is not who I want to be, it is not who I strive to be. 

Why wouldn't we want to step into our fullest selves? While the mentality of filtering ourselves may be automatic, perhaps even without too much thought, I invite you to realize that filtering yourself in any way is counter productive. Think about it. We tend to sensor ourselves when meeting new people, because we think we need to make a good impression--but that's not showing our true selves, and we should only want to be around people that want our true selves; and if we are stuck around people that don't, then we should embrace ourselves regardless. Plenty of times people filter and sensor themselves in new relationships, because we believe we need to be more "tame", perhaps not "crazy", to impress them. But what's the point? In the long run, you're lying about Who You Are, and in any case you should only Want to be with someone where you can be entirely and completely yourself. This goes for any kind of relationship: friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, family, work, etc. 

We spend so much of our time filtering the things we say, the way we act, the way we look in order to make the people around us more comfortable. We filter ourselves out of a need to not hurt anyone's feelings , offend anyone, or to avoid confrontation. While in our heads this may seem like a good idea, showing our shiniest, most well-behaved sides, this also gives us the mentality that our own feelings are second to everyone else's. 

On top of that, it also doesn't show people the Real You. And you should always strive to be the Truest version of yourself, because life is too short to be anything else or to surround yourself with people that don't embrace the True You. 

Now, I should clarify… Filtering ourselves doesn't mean you're not still feeling like yourself, it just means (and feels like) you are not the Fullest Version of Yourself. It's not that the behaviour is fake, it just means you're putting forth only the "good stuff" so to speak. I struggled with this for a long time when I strived so hard to have a Positive Mental Attitude at all times; believing that any negative feelings were not good and that I should not show those sides of myself. It began to feel as if I wasn't allowed to be negative ever. I since learned that lesson, especially in such a social-networking platform as both my blogs. People need to realize that we are all Human. People have All different sides to themselves; and that includes the people you are trying to impress or sensor yourself around. By being fully yourself, you also encourage those around you to do the same; and, again, life is too short for anything else. You are human, just as the people around you are, just as I am. Yes, sometimes we are glowing balls of energy and light and beaming smiles; other times we have sad thoughts and irrational thoughts, we get angry, jealous, envious, and hurt, and sometimes we get depressed. All of our emotions, all of our wants and needs exist whether we show them or not, and they are just as important as the wants and needs of the people around you. This is why filtering yourself is counterproductive; because it leaves the impression that those wants and needs aren't valid. Essentially, you devalue yourself.  

There are several problems with devaluing yourself, mostly because it attacks your self worth and can leave you feeling unworthy of the people and situations around you. The behaviour of filtering yourself is also not healthy because, in the end, you are only building walls around yourself and against the people in your life. The encouragement in this is to remind yourself that you Are amazing, and you don't need to filter yourself for Anyone. The more you embrace your own self-worth, the more people will embrace it as well, and the less you will feel the need to filter yourself anyway. Allow yourself to be vulnerable--because that's certainly how it will feel at first--so that you can have a healthy relationship with Your Self again, and therefore healthy relationships with the people around you. This is a step in personal growth, and it is still (in my opinion) one of the greatest ones to learn: the more love you have for yourself, the more love you have for life and the people in it. 

I know it's not always an easy thing to do; I, for one, have come to realize I have a bad habit of this. Inspire and encourage yourself to be the Fullest Version of Yourself at all times. Remember your own self-worth. Remember that to embrace yourself fully means to embrace life and happiness more fully. Life is too short not to fully accept, embrace, and value yourself, those around you, and life. 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ "Against Balance" ☺

We hear about balance a lot in our day-to-day struggle to be human, to do our best, and to find our calm and our perfect bliss in our lives. When a lovely woman in my own life shared this piece, I couldn't help but pass it along. I think it sums up the idea and struggle with "balance" perfectly. 

I hope you enjoy! 

Originally posted by Elizabeth Gilbert -- find her work here. 

Against BALANCE...

 Dear Ones -

 The other night at my event in St Paul, a young woman asked me about how I achieve balance in my life.

 First of all, I love that she thinks I have achieved balance in my life!

 Secondly, I felt the need to speak out once more against the subtle tyranny of the word BALANCE, which I think haunts and punishes modern women more and more every day. 

 We are constantly being told that we should be achieving balance — that we should somehow exquisitely be negotiating the relationships between our work lives, our home lives, our romantic lives, our health and well-being, our spiritual selves. You can't read an interview with a famous woman these days that the journalist does not applaud her for having achieved BALANCE....and then if you turn the pages of that magazine, you will find ten more articles showing how you can achieve balance. too!

 Be careful. 

 The word BALANCE has tilted dangerously close, I fear, to the word PERFECT — another word that women use as weapons against themselves and each other. 

 To say that someone has found the secret to a balanced life is to suggest that they have solved life, and that they now float through their days in a constant state of grace and ease, never suffering stress, ambivalence, confusion, exhaustion, anger, fear, or regret. Which is a wonderful description of nobody, ever. 

 Balance, when we do find it, is a breathtakingly temporary condition. We stand upon a world that spins at 2000 miles an hour. Our minds, meanwhile, spin at 200,000 miles an hour. We collide every day with other humans who are also sliding and spinning wildly. The landscape of our lives, therefore, changes by the minute. You find your balance one day and think, "Hooray! I have solved it" and then five minutes later the world utterly transforms again, and you're knocked on your ass one more time.

 That's just how life is on this planet — messy, fast, out of control, unpredictable. It's all terribly interesting, but also terribly unstable. 

 That being the case, I dropped the myth of BALANCE a long time ago. (I buried it right next to PERFECT.) My life seems happiest — as I tried to explain to this young woman the other night — when I just surrender to the madness, and embrace the glorious mess that I am...and also when I embrace the glorious mess that everyone else is, and the glorious mess of the world itself. My life gets the most painful when I try to set the entire mess (myself other people, life itself) into order. 

 The world is like a dropped pie most of the time. Don't kill yourself trying to put it back together. Just grab a fork and eat some of it off the floor. Then carry on.

 If you can get some stuff done in the chaos sometimes, god bless you. If you can basically hold it together, propping yourself up with duct tape and glue, rock on. If you can manage stay upright even one hour a day, you're doing pretty great, as far as I'm concerned. And if you can be kind to the other stumbling fools around you half the time — well, that's just heroic. 

 Basically, I think we are all just sloppy stupendous champions.

 Onward!

Heart,

LG

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

. . . . . . . . . .

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

. . . . . . . . . .

Wow! It's been a long time! I hope you have missed the Motivational Mondays posts and are ready to get back to some ass-kicking tasks and motivations for your weeks ahead! We're back! Let's get motivated! Rar! Rar! Rar!  

☺ Law of Attraction Tip: The fastest way to manifest something is to Expect it. Manifesting is a strange balance that can sometimes feel challenging, but that balance comes in harmony when we have high hopes, but aren't attached to the outcome. Contradictory? It may feel that way. We must Believe what we want is coming to us, but we also must release Attachment. Find the balance.            

☺ Listen to Your Heart. The Heart knows. It just knows. The heart is that little voice in the pit of your stomach that is trying to communicate with you. It is the feelings of excitement or dread, the bliss of happiness or the melancholy which tells us whether we are on track or doing something we shouldn't. Learning to be honest with ourselves is how you truly listen to your heart, and how you live your life more harmoniously. Do your best, and trust Yourself.             

☺ Get Outside! It's summer, it's  beautiful! There are things to do! Get outside, run around, bask in the sun, explore your environment! Make the most of these summer months and get outside as much as possible, you'll be glad you did!     

☺ Feel Good With Your Identity. It is easy to feel challenged in our sense of self, in our identity, in our decisions, so it is important to remind yourself that you are Awesome and that you are doing what is best for yourself. Chances are there will always be Someone who has a problem with something you're doing. Ignore them. What matters is that you are being true to yourself and doing what is best for yourself--because only You know what is best for yourself.      

☺ Step out of Your Comfort Zone! I will always come back to this piece of advice, because it is in these moments we truly discover hidden parts of ourselves, of strengths and weaknesses, of windows to our own souls. Challenge yourself, take a leap, do something you wouldn't normally do. Recently I had my first Bikram Yoga class, and boy was I ever challenged and out of my comfort zone, but boy was it worth it! So have courage and take the leap!                    

☺ Let Go, Let Go, Let Go! There are so many things that we cling to, that we hold onto that don't serve us, so learning to let go is important. Let go of negative thinking, of hopelessness, of self-defeat. Let go of fear. Let go of self-limiting beliefs. Let go of being right. Let go of things. Let go of waiting.   

☺ "There is no external source of happiness, therefore stop effort and release from anxiety. We are searching for happiness rather than expressing happiness because of our core belief that "I am not enough" ~ John Ruskan (Emotional Clearing). Remember, You are Always Enough! So be Happy! ;) 

Now get out there and create a beautiful, wonderful, magical day filled with rainbows and butterflies and all those feel-good wonders!

Much love from me to you! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ When Your Sense of Self is Challenged ☺

There have been many times here at the ReLove Plan.et blog in which I have explicitly encouraged people to love themselves as they are, to not care what others think, and to be yourself and be happy no matter what adversaries come your way. What I have not discussed is what to do when that sense of self, that sense of your own comfort in your identity, is challenged. Perhaps I never spoke of it because it has been a very long time since I've felt a deep overwhelming challenge in this area of my life. I have always been quirky, different, and in recent years done my best to embrace my individuality--something that has become easier and easier with every year as I become more and more secure in my own body and self. It felt like easy advice to give, and certainly something that each and every one of us can consciously work on: becoming comfortable with ourselves and embracing Who We Are. However, sometimes our sense of self can be vigorously challenged. While it has taken my own sense of self to be recently challenged to truly reflect on this topic, I am always glad for opportunities of insight and exploration; encouraging me to look at my identity, at people, at the world we live in, always providing new opportunities to learn and grow and share. 

So. Perhaps your sense of self is often challenged. Perhaps it is from family--and perhaps this is the most common one, especially if you really do embrace your quirks and lovely individuality and all the strangeness our society deems "unfit." Perhaps it is from friends (why would you want to have friends like that?), or coworkers, or peers in school, or any other number of people or circumstance. 

Our sense of self is almost always first challenged sometime during our school years. We start off so innocent and genuine, and then somewhere along the line society and the people that are a part of that society begin to make us feel as if we can't be ourselves and that we must fit a certain standard. Our innocent and genuine identity become tainted, twisted to try and fit in that narrow-minded box. Fortunately, many of us learn that we don't want to fit in the box or join the herd of society's sheep. 

While I was in school, I learned at a more subconscious level that I did not fit in and didn't want to fit in--after my own lack of success in trying. I learned to stick up for myself. As I became an adult I was somehow comfortable creating new identities for myself. I was a goth/metal kid for a long while. I probably tried entirely too hard to be "badass." I went through a mild hippie stage as well. At some point I accepted I was also rather a bit of a "geek." In the end, I learned to embrace all the individual parts of myself. But, that isn't what I'm talking about today (that's in the "Be Yourself" posts you can find on the rest of the blog). 

So, what challenged my sense of self recently? 

Let's Get Personal… 

First I will say that my sense of self is largely identified (to myself) by the inspiration, happiness, and warmth I try to spread to others and the world around me. I generally consider myself a good person who is out to help others and do the best I can in all areas (people around me, our planet, animals, etc.). These were things that were important to my character, things I resonated with, things that made me feel secure in who I Am. They still are, don't worry, but these ideals have been challenged, because my sense of self has been challenged. Why? Nothing has challenged my sense of self more than the very recent separation from my partner. Yes, we're going to get personal here; hopefully many of you can relate through your own relationship challenges, and if not hopefully it at least compares in some way to your own challenges. 

At first, I had to deal with the guilt of leaving a ten-year relationship with an awesome guy. Fortunately, I have pretty amazing friends and family who have supported me through all of this. However, there was a lot of questioning involved for myself--because I was very aware that I was hurting another person (my husband) and it made me feel, quite frankly, like a shitty human being. Of course, this logic isn't exactly sound. If I wasn't hurting him then I was hurting myself, and I was hurting the relationship, and therefore hurting him in the end regardless. While I have reminded myself of this logic repeatedly, it still made me feel like a not-so-great person. I accepted that it was something that needed to happen, that my Intention wasn't to actually hurt him, but to help both he and myself in life. Stagnation and self-harm is never a scenario you want to stick with. So those reminders helped too. 

My sense of self was challenged further as this little rabbit hole of my life continued. I had fallen in love with another man; a good friend at that, who was/is also my husband's friend. This made me feel like a shitty person too. Even though I never cheated on my husband, the guilt of falling in love before ending my relationship with him lingered. Since speaking to many other female friends and acquaintances, I have come to realize my situation was not exactly unusual, and in fact was quite common. Perhaps it is because we are often too afraid of hurting the person we're with to end relationships when we should, and so falling for a close friend may feel easier, even safer, if not usually accidental. Oh what denial can do to us!

Both of these circumstances made me feel not like the person I had spent a long time becoming and loving. What you should also understand is that I used to hate myself rather passionately, so becoming someone I was proud of and loved was a big step and accomplishment in my life. 

Since this has all transpired, the spiral continued. Suddenly, I felt like everyone was judging me. It is amazing what can go through your mind at times like this, challenging our security within ourselves as much as it challenges Who we feel we Are. I began to wonder what my friends truly thought of me, what outsiders would think and/or say, what people were saying behind my back. I had suddenly opened myself up to a huge window in which there was room for judgement. 

Further reflection upon this has reminded me that there are always windows for judgement. Being vegan is a window for judgment. Being environmentally conscious is a window for judgement; being "consciously aware" is a window for judgement; being "unique" is a window, dying your hair, having piercings, having tattoos, having dreadlocks, what we choose to wear, how we choose to act… really just Being Yourself is a window for judgment, because it causes people to reflect on their own lack of sense of self. Many people become jealous and/or uncomfortable by anything that challenges the sheep-like society we live in. Of course, people are breaking these barriers every day, but there are still plenty of people who are afraid of change or anything different from themselves--I think these people, more than anything, are just afraid of being themselves, therefore it is easier to judge others so that they can feel better about their own lack of identity and individuality and fear of being themselves openly. 

I realize this is a pretty long-winded post. Perhaps this should be more of a "free flow thoughts" sort of post; but I feel like plenty of people can relate to this subject so it is one I wanted to openly discuss and find some enlightenment with. 

What I've come to learn, is that, at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what other people think of you. All you can do--and all you Should do--is Be Yourself, fully and openly and as comfortably as possible. The higher our level of comfort and acceptance we have for ourselves and our decisions, the more those around us are accepting as well. Opening the window of self-doubt opens that same window to others. People can see and sense your self-doubt and insecurity; if you can't be comfortable with your own self and decisions, then how are others supposed to either? Of course, no matter how comfortable and accepting you are of your own self, there will always be Someone there to question it, there will always be Someone that has something negative to say--such is life. This is why our value should never come from anyone else but ourselves. Also, your friends should always be understanding, the people that matter will always be on your side--and if they're not then you should probably find new people.

Since I was speaking of relationships as well, I will return to a final thought on that as well… Any end to a relationship requires two people. For a long while much of my guilt and lack of security within myself was due to me taking all the blame and responsibility. Once I was able to remember and see that my husband had just as big a role to play in the unravelling of our relationship, my sense of self began to return with more confidence. It takes two people. And we all have reasons for the decisions we make, so hold onto that, whatever those decisions may be--whether it involves a relationship or any other aspect in life.    

What are your own thoughts on your sense of self or "identity"? What challenges have entered your own life in which you felt extremely challenged in this area? And what insights have you gained, and coping methods have you learned in this area? Would love to hear from you all! 

As always, so much Love! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.