{life reflections} - Life is What You Make It

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Life is What You Make It

Happiness has come much more easily these days, especially when I compare current state of affairs to the first half of 2014 and the later half of 2013. Oh the turbulence! I still cannot believe how many people I know (or, actually, just about Everyone I know) who are going through Huge life changes, rocky dilemmas, and ordeals of varying degrees and depths. What a strange year this has been. It continues to blow my mind. So many life-altering changes shaking our foundations and encouraging us to build new ones. Life is truly magical, if not incredibly trying at times. Chin up! Things are getting better for most of the people I know; I heard this crazy mercury in retrograde, or whatever other cosmic blame we have handy, is on its way out and things are bound to become more stable soon! This is the little bit of reassurance I wanted to pass along to anyone still enduring the turbulence of this year. That being said, reassurance is nice and all, but reassurance is nothing if you don't take a step up and take control of your own life. 

Ordeals happen. All the time. They can cripple us, or they can build us up. Your choice. People hate that this is their own choice. Hate, hate, hate. Taking responsibility for your own life can feel like such an arduous task. I mean, who has time for That?!… *extended pause*… Everyone should make room to better their lives. I don't care how busy your life is, squeeze in that sprinkle of happiness, that lesson on self-worth, that practice from all those life lessons you've read about. It's all in our hands. Well, that is: Our own Lives are in Our Own Hands. Only you are responsible for the make or break of your own story. You are the author, the poet, the artist, the dreamer and believer of your own future and present. 

Look at it this way: when we are handed a life ordeal, it is like being handed a sticky piece of playdoh. Sometimes when it is handed to us it has the shape of something unlikeable, perhaps even terrifying. Sometimes it's a bit tough to mould, or sometimes too sticky. But, despite any of that, what we do with that unlikeable shape is up to us. We can mould it into something new and beautiful, or we can keep poking it with a stick or ignoring it, and hope that it just fixes itself. Life takes work; but it's a good kind of work. The situations you are handed in life are malleable, so long as you Choose to do something with them. Every ordeal holds a lesson, and therefore something to allow you to grow. Working on your own sense of happiness and fulfillment is the most important work you will ever do, so don't neglect it! Be pro-active about your own life, circumstances, relationships, and situations. 

These are not new words for me to teach--or preach, if you choose to see it that way ;)--but they are valuable beyond measure. I speak them particularly at the moment because I can see what being pro-active in my own life has brought me (perhaps in comparison to some people I know who are less pro-active, or times in my own life when I was less pro-active). I have worked hard at my life; the happiness and state of mind that I have achieved did not happen by accident. I was a suicidal, depressed, self-loathing girl, constantly blaming everything outside myself, wallowing in my problems, and feeding the self-misery for years. The decision to change and be happy is the biggest one you will make, because if you make it with conviction and from the heart then things will start to fall into place; perhaps gradually and with much struggle in the beginning, but fall in place nonetheless. All of that pro-active work I took within my own life lead me to be as strong as I am today. I'm not perfect by a long-shot; it still takes me forever to make the right decisions for myself, I still cry, I still hurt, I still stumble and fall flat on my face. The biggest part that changed, I do believe, is my optimism, my resilience, and my persistence. During downward swings I can still manage to smile; and after however long it takes me in any given situation, I remember that I am Worthy, Valuable, and that I Deserve Happiness. That remembrance fuels the heart back into passion, and when we fuel the heart with that kind of fire, solutions begin to present themselves. 

If someone had told that depressed suicidal girl where I would be today, I would not have believed it were possible. At all. And even today, if someone had told me four months ago how much my life was going to have changed in this moment right now, I would not have believed them either. There are many parts in my present life that I desired for a long time, either close to the surface, fully aware, or in denial somewhere in the subconscious. But I wanted these things. I have them now. And I couldn't be happier--or mind blown. During these last three months I have moments of awe and disbelief about how dreamlike my life feels right now, of the man I am currently with, of the dreams I am achieving, and the life I am living. I have these moments multiple times Daily! That is how blessed and grateful I feel right now--and how much my mind is blown away by how much things can change! 

  

Life isn't perfect, however. There will always be ordeals, huge life bumps, curveballs, and challenges--again, such things never cease to amaze me, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere. Something in particular happened to me this week that caused a whirlwind of emotions. I went back and forth between negative emotions and being optimistic again like a swinging pendulum. This lasted a few days. In spite of this, I was still able to remain level-headed and focus on what I had to be grateful for. Even though it was a trying ordeal, I didn't allow myself to wallow in self-pity or any other emotion, for I don't leave room in my life to stay stuck in those sorts of emotions anymore. But they come up. Frustration and emotional distraught still bounce back and forth--and they should--while you come to terms and face any ordeal. It's a game of ping pong, but you always have the choice to keep batting away the negative emotions with positive ones until the positive ones win and the calm returns to your life. Gratitude is absolutely your best weapon in any trouble--I recommend using it all the time in every single situation that comes across your path. In the end, once we've allowed ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotions, we can only accept what has happened and make the best of it. There is no point in dragging out or holding onto negative emotions, so practice letting them go! Remember: Optimism and Gratitude, use them liberally and they will change your entire life, I promise you! 

  

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☺ Reflections on the New Chapter of My Life ☺

There is no denying… this lovely blog is becoming consumed by the current circumstances of my own life. I feel as if that is okay though; after all, I am a writer that shares life lessons and experiences, so why would the experiences of my own life not be shared with you all in hopes to help you reach some "ah ha" moment in your own life? Or perhaps for me to selfishly explore and discover the inner workings of my own life and then sharing such with you. Win-win then? Okay, I'll go with that.  

The truth is that the end of my marriage and this new chapter of my life is clearly absorbing most of my current time. But I also want to blog. I want to blog about my experience. So, once more, why not?

{from my recent Vancouver adventure}

Reflections on the New Chapter of My Life. 

Change can be scary. The fear of Change, worse so, will hold us back.  

Life can be quirky and unexpected. In fact, just when we think we have our entire "life plan" figured out the curveball comes a swinging to redirect us. I thought I was going to live happily ever after with my husband. I thought he was "the one". We were high school sweethearts, got married at 22, and shared a good ten years together in which most of our relationship was quite blissful, if not incredibly arduous (partly because we were so young, mostly because there was a lot of personal turbulence that directly affected each our lives, particularly mine). 

Ending any relationship isn't easy, add the word "marriage" into that and it's even more uneasy, add the words "ten years" and you ignite a personal complex. The most difficult part of the decision, however, was that I wasn't leaving my partner because he was a bad person, in fact he is an absolutely amazing person and any woman would be lucky to have him. It was why it took me a gruelling six months of tug-o-war with my own mind and heart to finally make a decision. After all, I was leaving a man I had committed myself to, a man that I had loved deeply for years, a man that treated me well and a man who was enlightened, conscious, kind, and in so many ways very much like me in our personal beliefs. There was a point in which I wondered what was wrong with me to have fallen out of love with such a man. 

Compatibility. 

Being on different paths.

Being different people and wanting different things. 

Personal traumas and troubles in which we no longer supported one another.

These were all the real reasons I think my marriage fell apart, why I fell out of love, and why I needed to move on. His soul no longer resonated with my own and our interests changed. I will say again: it's hard leaving someone who is good to you; it will make you question the deepest parts of yourself. But the mistakes we made during our time together played their weight in the ending, and so did many other factors. Falling out of love with someone is a strange feeling. But I learned to respect myself, to be honest with myself, and to listen to my heart, which were all vital in my own well-being--and things that I had a hard time accepting for a long long time. People (including ourselves) change, and there is nothing we can do about that. People end up going down different roads, developing different interests, striving for different desires, and requiring different attributes and needs from our inner selves and the partners we are with. This moves us onto different frequencies that are no longer resonating with the inner most important parts of our beings. That is when change is required, when it is time to be honest with yourself and to see the truth. None of this means the person we were with was a bad person, and it doesn't mean "it's not you, it's me", it just means that our paths are heading in different directions. Accepting this truth opened my world and allowed the guilt to ease and my decision to be made with more confidence.

My point in all this, if there is any, is that I thought I was going to live happily ever after with my husband in our dream home with a happy little pig, puppy, and our two cats, with an extravagant food garden, and a lifetime of sprinkled fairy dust on top. Life throws us curves balls. What we thought we wanted may sometimes not be what we actually want, or, even more so, what we actually need. There is a moment in life where we feel like we are going against the current; this is a good sign and feeling to listen to. If you are constantly fighting against a current, then it is probably not in your best interest to pursue. This was the case with my marriage. It felt as if I was constantly fighting against a current. This feeling was what gave me my first wake-up call: when I realized my life wasn't what I wanted it to be. I also came to see that there were things that I wanted that my current circumstance could not provide me--not because of him, but because of myself. I realized I needed change. I realized I needed a different environment in order to grow and learn new things about myself and to enrich my life again; to, basically, continue my life journey in the truest resonance to my soul. My faith in the Universe contributes to my peace of mind in all this, because I do believe it is looking out for each of us, but I also believe that we have to actively participate in our lives as well for it to be good and rich and abundant in all areas. Actively participate, listen to your heart, trust the signs, and trust that whatever decision you make can be the right decision. 

I remember wishing someone could make the decision for me. I remember looking for signs from the Universe every day. It's easy to misinterpret outward signs, the real sign was actually in my heart, I was just in complete denial of this for a long time--a time I regret. If I had listened to my heart sooner, if I had been honest with myself sooner, than perhaps this ending would have been easier. But, everything happens for a reason. Better late than never. 

As terrifying and woeful as ending my marriage has been (there is nothing in the world that has ever made my heart hurt so badly), I am also excited for the future. I had given up on love, part of me didn't believe it were possible; I mean, if my husband wasn't "the one", who else could be? Again, life can surprise you, and sometimes "the one" is actually right in front of you. Love is real. I really truly deeply believe and (dare I say) know this to be true. If we set the right intention, know that we are deserving, and remember to love ourselves, then we absolutely welcome the right person into our lives. 

Change can be scary. But change also opens us up to the world we deserve, the world we strive for, the world we are manifesting. Change is good; only our resistance to it is bad. Sometimes we just have to pull up the courage to do what we need for ourselves--and that often times requires the biggest leap of faith and making the hardest decisions. Through all this personal experience, I promise you, having the courage to listen to your heart is the most rewarding experience you will have--even if it is intimidating, even if it may seem devastating and difficult. Trust your heart. Trust that inner voice that is trying to guide you, trying to bring to you what you strive for, need, and desire. That little voice knows, because it resonates the deepest parts of your soul. So, learn to listen, and welcome goodness into your life. 

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{life reflections} Yoga and Healing

p.s. This was written on Thursday, for the date reference… not that it matters. ;)

As I sit here sipping on a rather blissful blueberry hemp smoothie on the deck of Sweet Cherubim, sweat still dripping down my spine, and hair still wet from the shower after my first Bikram Yoga class (think an intense 90 minutes of yoga in a 40 degree room), I can't help reflect on this immense shift in my life. To say that I have learned a lot about myself this past month would be a huge understatement. To say that I have entered an immensely healing period in my life with profound opportunity would also be highly under stated. Life itself is a healing journey, but to what I am referring is this new chapter of deep conscious healing I have recently begun, really tackling personal issues and past traumas to reach a better state of "enlightenment" and happiness in my life.  

These sorts of drastic life changes and challenges are not particularly new to me, but they always strike me all the same as incredibly profound, filled to the brim with lessons and opportunities to grow and discover new parts of myself. Through all my turmoils, I have definitely learned to embrace change, to seek the positive in any given situation. This process allows us to be more adaptable, allows us to grow and learn, allows the waves of turmoil to wash on by instead of getting stuck. 

Now, it's easy to dismiss things, to play things down when we start to compare our lives to others, or for an outsider looking in. Perhaps you are sat there thinking to yourself, but my life is incredibly difficult, for there is This and That going on, and This that needs to be done, and That which needs fixing, and This person is giving me grief. Well, this is no different than my world (or a lot of people's worlds), and I don't believe in making our current (or old) circumstances our excuses or clutches to negativity. At any given moment we have the opportunity to turn a situation into something that enriches our lives, to empower our beings, or we can allow it to cripple us. This is a basic, hard, blunt lesson I have learned through the tornado of my life. Attitude is everything. Having an Attitude of Gratitude is even more advantageous. 

I think--no, I know--that my attitude to any given situation has helped me through the negativity, through the bumps, through the sticky parts that weigh me down. I know that my gratitude has brought me more things to be thankful for, as well as deep, heart-warming gifts. The truth is, now that I sit here and reflect, that two of my happiest times in my life have also been during the most tumultuous. I don't mean like little bumps in the road, I mean a wrecking storm intent on destroying my inner and outer life; I mean absolute chaos; I mean the sorts of problems and challenges that bring you to tears and make you question why the Universe can be so cruel; I mean… you get the idea. However, through this emotional tornado, the brightest lights have shined. Perhaps it is because I look for things to be grateful for (Law of Attraction 101), or perhaps because I choose to see the positive, I therefore welcome the good to reenter my life. Good things come to me. Not because they land on my lap without effort, but because I choose to see them, embrace them, and challenge them to make me a better person. I actively participate in my happiness, in my life, and I encourage you to do the same with your own life--it is the only way you will grow and change for the better and create a place of happiness for yourself. 

So, yes, I am in a state of healing. I believe that was the point of today's "inspirational" post…  

Bikram Yoga

It amazes me that once we welcome healing into our lives how the opportunities are presented to us. Yesterday I was sat outside Sweet Cherubim (I just love Commercial Drive in Vancouver, and I love this little vegetarian/vegan place!), writing out a blog post, and a lovely gentleman complimented my tattoos and handed me a card for the Bikram Yoga studio directly above. The card was for a free yoga class. Ironically (actually, more like manifestation) I have been wanting to do a yoga class again for a while, and I have always been intrigued by hot yoga and have wanted to give it a try. The opportunity was perfect. So, the next day (today) I checked the schedule and headed over. I won't lie, I was slightly intimidated. Ninety minutes of intense yoga in a 40 degree room, sweating out toxins (you can burn a whopping 945 calories in this class!!). What I didn't expect (for some strange reason) was the healing that came from this class. There is something about being pushed to your limits, testing your perseverance, and enduring against the odds that will really teach you something about yourself. This class, this experience, was exactly what I needed in this healing journey I have been currently immersed in. I don't think I have ever sweated this much in my life. I don't think I have ever been tested this intensely to my physical and mental limits at the same time. There was a point I thought I might pass out, a point I thought I was going to puke, and a point I didn't think I could go on. If it hadn't been for the warm-hearted instructor at the beginning of the class telling me that these things were normal, I might not have endured. But, I pushed through, took a short breather, and jumped back in, pushing through the dizzy spills and nausea, focussing on breathing, and committing myself to the entire practice. Oh did it ever test me. But it was incredibly empowering, and incredibly rewarding. Feeling the blood circulate, the energy rushing, the toxins dripping out in sweat. Wow! It is a rewarding feeling when you push through something so challenging and feel rejuvenated afterwards. I'm not sure I can quite describe the feeling, but it was certainly healing, and profoundly rewarding. Mind over matter is a powerful thing, and a tool that can take us many places in life when we don't think we can endure. It proves we can do anything, proves we can push through anything. We all have that power within us. 

We all have the power to heal. We all have that power embedded into our DNA, embedded into our bodies, embedded into our minds; we just require the courage and perseverance to do so. But we should never underestimate our inner power. Ever. I encourage you to find yours, to follow it passionately, and to welcome the healing into your life. It may be a rough road, it may challenge you, but the end result is worth it all, and it will make you that much stronger, and that much more prepared for the next challenge in your life.

As always, so much love to you all!  

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☺ Jar full of Happiness ☺

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{New Year Inspirational Kick-Off!}

 Kicking off this new year only feels right to be boasting with enthusiasm and inspirational to get things running all the more smoothly, so, I welcome you to the New Year Inspirational Kick-Off! The next several days will be dedicated to sharing fun projects and resources you can use to keep your own life bustling with gratitude and awesomeness.

New Year Positive Power! Huzzah!

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Today's New Year Kick-Off post involves recycling an idea from last year. Remember the "Jar Full of Happiness"? 

If this is your first time hearing about it, or if you didn't do it last year, then this is your year to take part! 

I kept my jar throughout the year and made sure to write something down as often as I remembered. While entering something every single day (or several a day) was my goal, I admit that some days I would forget. This year, I am really going to make sure I write something down every single day! 

The reason I really encourage you to make your own jar is because the practice is so easy and yet so profound; and it is something you can do every day with very little effort that will instantly lift your mood. 

Having practiced this through 2013, I can tell you that when you empty your jar at the end of the year, it is so inspiring and it truly makes you realize how blessed and wonderful your life really is. The extreme power of this practice is, definitely, the ability to look back at the year and realize how amazing it truly was. The more gratitude you can have for the life you already have and for your past; teaching you to really love your life when you look back on all those beautiful moments you may have forgotten.  the more greatness you allow to enter your life in the present and future. 

Enjoy and, above all else, you Must do it, and have fun doing it! This is Such a wonderful practice! And what better way to add extra gratitude in your life than this? You will start to notice all the beautiful and positive moments and things in your life and increase your appreciation so much deeper. 

Yup, you heard me, this isn't an option, this is a Must for your New Year. After all, you're all Happy ReLove Warriors right? Right! Okay! Without further ado…

Jar Full of Happiness

So! The image is pretty self-explanatory: 

1. Repurpose an empty glass Jar.
2. Decorate it all cute and magical (make the jar your own ;)) 
3. Write down good things that happen to you on little pieces of paper. 
4. Add notes to the jar throughout the year. 
5. On December 31st, empty the jar and read about all the amazing things that happened to you in 2013! 

Here's Why I want you to do it and my little twist on it… 

Why? Because it's a way for you to really appreciate all the little and big moments throughout the year. You will be putting in the conscious effort of writing these things down and adding them to your lovely little jar. By doing this you are expressing Gratitude, and Gratitude is one of the single biggest things you can do to improve your life. This activity will help to switch your brain onto the positive and you will be seeking out more and more positive things to add to your jar. 

What should you be Writing Down? My rule is to not be shy with this; try to add as many as you can, no matter how small the moment may be, write it down, appreciate it, be grateful for it. Write down surprise gifts, accomplishments, adventures, moments that made you laugh, daily blessings, cherished memories, acts of kindness, things you're particularly grateful for, things you manifested. Any good things that happen to you or you witness or you are a part of, jot them down and add them to your jar!   

My added twist? Don't wait until December 31st to read them. I'm not talking about emptying out the entire jar, But, taking out one or two and reading them when you're feeling down can be one of your "secret shifters" (things you turn to to uplift your mood when you're feeling down) to get yourself back on track and focussing on the positive. I think it's also valuable to try to write one down every day, like I said earlier, appreciating any moment big or small is invaluable and will boost your positive outlook on life. You'll start to see all the things that you have to be grateful for around you.    

Above all else, have fun with it! Make your New Year Magical and filled with positive experiences! :)  

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☺ The Magic ☺

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{New Year Inspirational Kick-Off!}

 Kicking off this new year only feels right to be boasting with enthusiasm and inspirational to get things running all the more smoothly, so, I welcome you to the New Year Inspirational Kick-Off! The next several days will be dedicated to sharing fun projects and resources you can use to keep your own life bustling with gratitude and awesomeness.

New Year Positive Power! Huzzah!

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I can't think of a better way to start the New Year off than by doing 28 days of Gratitude practices. Yes, I'm talking about the book "The Magic" by Rhonda Byrne. This book is transformational! You can literally take a shitty, unmotivated life and bring it back to vibrancy and hope by following the practices of this book. I have done this book twice before, and am on Day 3 of it again now. 

So, what is The Magic? Why should you do it?

The Magic uses the most important principle of the Law of Attraction, GRATITUDE, and teaches you how to use it to make your life awesome. Essentially. The book has 28 days of Gratitude Practices (a new one for each day for the next 28 days) for you to follow to make your life magical again. Following the practices every day, without skipping a day, promises to change your life. Gratitude will make all of your dreams come true, it will set the Law of Attraction into motion, and it will teach you how to live your life full of thanks and appreciation to the people and things around you--and therefore, full of happiness, bliss, and wonderfulness. 

Gratitude is, quite possibly, the greatest tool in your possession to turn any situation, any life, any moment in time, to something better. It will make you see the beauty in your life that you've been missing due to a bad attitude; it will make you appreciate everything again and realize just how much you already have in your life to be grateful for. Gratitude can repair broken relationships. Gratitude can change your perspective and experience at work, at home, any place or any circumstance. Gratitude is the key to attract more great things into your life. If there is one thing your life requires to flourish, it is Gratitude. 

The Magic teaches you 28 ways to practice Gratitude, to use it every day, and to make your life amazing again. It is an instant mood-lifter. If you haven't done the Magic before, I highly recommend you pick yourself up a copy and start this now. There is no better way to stay motivated, to keep your mood high, or to lighten your heart with blissfulness than Gratitude and the practices in this book.  

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☺ This too shall pass: How to Let Go and Move Forward ☺

I think it's human nature, perhaps the way our society is today, that we have a tendency to hold onto things as if our lives depend on them. Even if these are bad things. In fact, it's usually the bad things that we hold onto. We don't like change. We like what is comfortable and normal to us, again, even if such things are actually bad. It's still "normal" and familiar so we cling to it and fall into the same habits because they are so familiar. 

Our minds are also obsessive, muling over events or experiences, wondering if we could have done things differently, blaming ourselves or others, and stressing ourselves to sickness. We resist moving forward and cling to negative experiences. Constantly.  

We all do it. But we can also all work through it and learn to let it go. Because stress has no place in your beautiful wonderful life. 

So are you ready to let go and move forward? Okay, here we go!

Steps to letting go and moving forward: 

1. Remember that it was not your fault. Life is unpredictable, full of so many varying factors and people and things that we simply cannot change or predict. We cannot stop the "bad" from sometimes crossing our paths. Even if you are the direct cause of someone’s pain, things happen for a reason and so do your actions. You must lookout for yourself and sometimes there is a ripple that not everyone is favourable to. We all make mistakes, it's how we learn, so there is no place for guilt as long as you learn.
2. "Stress Happens when the Mind Resists what Is" Keep in mind that negative feelings do not serve you. Feeling guilty, down, sad, angry, unforgiving, or anything of the sort locks you in place and doesn't help you, others, or your predicament. Worrying is a misuse of your imagination. Instead, accept what has happened and remind yourself that stressing serves zero purpose. Spend more time imagining a positive outcome instead. 
3. You can’t change the past. Even if you make a mistake or feel guilty over past actions, there is nothing you can do about it anymore. What's done is done. The only thing that really matters is this moment Right Now. Dwelling on the past won’t change it. What you Can do is take lessons from your past mistakes so that you can create a better future. That being said, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll never make them again. We have a tendency to repeat our actions and situations until the lessons become a part of us. Don't get discouraged by repetition, just know that you are still heading in the right direction. Releasing the past is your ticket to moving forward freely in life.
4. Everything happens for a reason. The reason for things happening in our lives may not be immediately clear to us, but things have a way of falling into place at some point or another. The way to see the reasons sooner is by learning the lessons and seeking out the positive. You can't move forward if you're always looking back. While you may be waiting for a clear "falling into place," you can always seek out a comforting answer or an opportunity for change in even the shittiest situations if you look closely enough for the light. Remember that attitude is everything. 
5. You get a second Chance every Day. A new day brings a clean slate, a fresh start, a new beginning. You get a second chance every single second of every single day. If you're having trouble moving forward then remember that you can always move, change majors, quit your job, or just decide to get out of bed and make today kick-ass. The power to change is always in your hands, it is always your responsibility to move forward. Your Choice.  
6. Will it matter a Year from Now? Picture yourself five years from now, will you even remember today? Will you remember what it was that you are so concerned about in this moment that you are stressing yourself silly? Will you remember eating all that cake, or failing a test, or getting shot down by a guy/girl, or getting into a fight with your friends? What seems world-ending today probably isn’t going to ruin your life.
7. You Deserve Good Things. One of the major blocks holding us back is our lack of self-worth. We can't move forward when we don't feel as if we deserve good things in our lives. This is something that you must must must work through. Learn to love yourself, to accept yourself, and to welcome good things into your life. Know that you are awesome. Know that You Are Deserving. Repeat this to yourself daily. 

 Lastly… the next time you feel yourself stressing out… 

Take a step back. Take a deep breath and just try to laugh and force a smile. 

Take a second to remember exactly who you are, what you are about, and what you stand for. L

Life will never give you anything in this world that you can't handle! 

Remember to be strong, be adaptable, appreciate yourself, appreciate others, and keep moving positively forward!

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☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

☺ Do Everything at the Level of Awesome! No matter what it is you are doing, make sure you do it with all your heart! Going to work? Make it the best damn work day ever! Reading a book? Give it your full attention! Hanging out with a friend or loved one? Give them all of your energy (meaning put down the cell phone). We get so easily distracted and allow our minds to wander so easily that we rarely actually spend quality time in the present moment. So, whatever it is you're doing, give it your full attention and love. 

☺ No Act is too small! As a vegan and an "activist" you often hear people give you the "it's a waste of time" or "it doesn't make a difference" remarks. Well, no act is too small. I've talked about this before, but it's always a good reminder. Every small act accounts for something bigger. If everyone thought small acts were pointless then nothing would ever change. One thing that you Should remember though, is that acts done out of negativity are counter-productive, while acts done from positivity and love have a huge impact. For instance, when speaking about veganism or earth-consciousness, I spread the word to others as positively as possible instead of preaching or focussing on the negative. Yes, I'll tell someone Why something is ethically wrong, but most of my time and efforts are placed on the positive side of how much good and fun being vegan is, or the benefits of being eco-friendly are--which is why I think I've had more success with turning people onto the lifestyle. So! No act is too small, but do it with positivity! :)  

☺ Dish out Compliments! We all have to deal with negative people at some point or another, or at the very least, we witness negativity in other people on a daily basis… Facebook and social networking sites come to mind. Your goal this week is to find any negativity and instead of taking part, pay the person a compliment, no matter how negative they are being. Negativity does not serve anyone and seeing it can sometimes make us feel not-so-great ourselves, so turn it around. There needs to be more love in the world so take part in dishing it out. :) 

Get inspired by this story: http://www.care2.com/causes/the-antidote-to-cyberbullying-teens-sending-compliments-to-their-peers.html

☺ Love your Self just the way you Are! Insecurities run thick with most of us at some level, so it's a topic I like to address as often as I can. Love yourself!!! Much more time needs to be spent focussing on how beautiful and amazing you are Just the Way You Are. There's nothing wrong with working on yourself and improving upon your self, but there needs to be a basis of love for who you are in this moment right now. There is still the basis of Who You Are that you need to love and appreciate, that is the way you will grow and improve because you are nurturing what is already there. So this week, I want you to spend a moment each day and write down all the things you love about yourself! ♥

☺ Pay it Forward! Find a way to pay it forward this week. Do acts of kindness, help someone out, give someone a gift, but leave the lasting impression to encourage that person to also pass it forward. It's a beautiful chain of events and you can never do too much good. Remember, kindness is contagious! :)  

☺ Cut out Sugar! I'm challenging you this week to cut out refined sugars. Fruit sugars are great and lovely, but cane sugar or white sugar or anything like that you should try to avoid. I'm challenging you to this because I almost guarantee that you will feel better by the end of the week if you truly stay away from it. And who doesn't need a mood booster in the middle of the winter months? ;) Just give it a try, you have nothing to lose and you may discover some new things that you like in place of sugar. Expand your food repertoire! ;)

☺ “Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” Rumi It is so easy to raise our voices when we get into an argument, but it is important to learn not to. There is never an appropriate time to raise your voice to someone, simply having an amicable conversation is what brings out any changes or resolve. I'm lucky because my husband and I have spent eight years together with never raising our voices to one another. If we have a problem, we Talk through it, we don't yell of shout or put each other down. It works! So catch yourself and learn to Talk and not Yell. 

Much Love from me to you! 

Create a Nice Day, a Nice Week, and keep a smile on your face! xo 

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☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

☺ Declare Your Awesome Day! When you first wake up in the morning declare "I am going to have an Awesome Day!!!" Before you go to bed at night, give thanks for the awesome day that you just had, even if it wasn't perfect, give thanks for what went well and imagine that it Was perfect. Then start over again. Before you even open your eyes in the morning, before you get out of bed, announce to yourself that you are going to have an awesome, magical, loving, joyful day! And watch the magic happen! ;)   

☺ Set your Intentions! Okay, let's start the New Year off right, shall we? I love revisiting this exercise because it's incredibly powerful and motivating, and sets you on the right track. Get out a big piece of paper, or several pieces of paper, and write down what you want your life to be like, and what you want your Self to be like. Write it out in the present tense, as if this is the life you Do have right Now. Get very specific and clear, and write down as much as you'd like--better to go too big than too small. Revisit this list as often as you'd like, adding things to it as you please and saying to yourself this is Now.  

☺ Foody Food Helpful, or not? People worry so much about all the food they eat over the holidays, but what they really need to worry about is what they eat the rest of the year. I cannot emphasize how much food affects your mood. I cannot cannot cannot. Because it's something you will not realize until you stop eating crap or things that your body has a hard time with. For myself, I cannot eat refined sugars, cane sugar, wheat, or spelt without feeling tired, irritable, and unsettled in my stomach. These are subtle, and I used to eat these things all the time. It is not until you cut them out that you realize what a huge effect they have on our bodies and minds. Figure out what you can and can't eat, what should be eaten in extreme moderation, and so forth. Trust me! It is one of the best things you can do for your Happiness! 

☺ Watch "Sick, Fat, and Nearly Dead" My mom has been telling me to watch this documentary for forever. I finally did. Now I will tell you what she told me; You Must watch this movie! It is incredibly inspiring and insightful and makes you Want to do something good for your health and eat right. It will motivate you and realize why food is so important. So watch it… immediately! ;)  

☺ Waking up feeling not so great? At least Try to alter your mood. I get it, sometimes it's difficult, but trying means you're climbing back out instead of spiralling out of control so that the whole rest of your day is horrid. Do whatever it is that you need to do to uplift your mood. For me, if I wake up feeling kind of tense and super tired, I haul my ass out of bed and jump on my elliptical for a hardcore workout. I almost always wake right up and feel better. Sometimes I still need to pay attention and work on things throughout the day if it's "one of those days." But like I said, trying means you're doing a better job than spiralling and moping and complaining. So climb dammit! Climb!!! 

☺ Make Someone Smile! It is your goal this week to make someone smile, or even better, laugh, every single day. Do whatever you need to do, but do it. I'll start… by sharing this absolutely adorable and silly photo of this kitty below. ;) ♥

☺ There is a saying by Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Have you gotten in your hugs today? Put in a conscious effort to get in more hugs, both to receive and give. Everyone could use more hugs after all. :) 

Hope your New Year is off to a beautiful and positive start! :) 

Much Love from me to you! 

Create a Nice Day and Create a Nice Year! xo

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☺ Jump-start 2013 with Positive Change ☺

My first post of 2013! How exciting! ;)

Honestly, I've been a bit all over the place with how I wanted to express my feelings of the new year. Finally, after scribbling down notes and thinking to myself, and aimlessly writing, I came to my conclusion. Since ReLove Plan.et has always been a place to inspire, to kick on those happy shoes and dance around with silly bliss and motivation, I figured that's what this post needs to be about. I already wrote a rather forward "Motivational Mondays" Post that I wanted to kick the New Year off with, but here is a little extra positive re-enforcement… or a second wake up call for me to tell you to make this year fantastic. 

I'll start by mentioning what I've said before; I'm not too much for New Year's Resolutions--in fact I wrote a post about it last year. So, not to repeat myself too much, I am simply going to say that I am For "Self Resolutions." 

What is the point of resolutions if we are just going to break them after a few days, or weeks, or moments, or seconds? So many of us have all these great ideas and inspirations and then come the New Year… well, nothing has changed, because--as I've mentioned a few times now--the turning of the New Year doesn't magically make things change. You have to make things change. So why do resolutions fail when we have such good intentions? Maybe because they aren't completely heart-felt, after all, there's almost this obligation to make these resolutions in the first place, instead of them coming from a place of inner wanting and choosing, or, more importantly, Commitment. Another reason I think they fail is because the second that we feel We fail, or our Resolutions "fail" then that's it, it's done, no more. I'm talking about the first slip-up, the first bump in the road, the first incident that makes you throw your arms up in the air and go "nothing's changed!" "2013 sucks just like last year!" 

Whaaaaaat???

Is this not madness? I say it time and time again, never give up, always stay positive, focussed, and encouraged, no matter how many bumps, falls, scrapes, scars, and tumbles you have. If you don't climb back up then you are just dragging yourself through the mud collecting more scrapes and burns and dirt, whereas if you keep standing back up then you are slowly but surely going to stay standing. You may still stumble, but you can easily climb back up. So stand back up! Get back on your feet, dust yourself off, and keep going. 

To hell with resolutions, say Yes to Life! Because life truly starts Right Now! If you're having a bad day then you can Start Over right in that moment. You never ever ever have to stay down. Ever. Have I said that enough times yet? Start again, because you can and because you have the will to choose and Do. So Do. 

Doesn't it sound like a much better idea to put effort into Feeling Good, then to feeling Bad? It seems like such an obvious answer, yet we too often place far more energy into feeling bad. We do so by complaining about ourselves, about others, about our jobs, about money, about the things we don't have. We do so by slunking down in front of the television and watching mindless shows and movies with a shit-ton of subliminal messages meant to make you feel bad about yourself. We do so by moping, sulking, and feeling sorry for ourselves. Think about All that Time and Energy that you could be using to Feel Good instead! Seriously!!! Is it not worth it? 

It may seem tedious at first because you're moving away from "comforts." But what you need to realize is that they are false comforts; they don't make you feel good, they're just comfortable. Step out of your comfort zone and do something different. Live your life differently. If you want to be happy then start to change the way you act, feel, and do. Change your habits. Change your attitude. It will all amount to transforming your life into this beautiful vibrant fantastic wonderful magical awesome world. 

So. It's 2013. Make your Resolution a lasting one and Change Your Self and Your Life. Make Happiness the air you breathe, every move you make, every word you speak, every thought you think. Make Happiness a Habit. 

I did it. And so can you. Don't be lazy, get up and shout out to the world how awesome your life is. Because it is. You just haven't noticed yet.  

I wish you all a very Happy Happy New Year! Much Love and Hugs and all that good stuff. ;) Keep smiling! 

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☺ Remember To Smile: Life Lesson Reminders ☺

With the busy-ness of every day life, we can easily get lost, and when we get lost we tend to forget those important life lessons that we've learned. So, time to take a breather and a refresher course and keep these in mind. :)

Life Lesson Reminders 

• Remember to Smile
• Remember to Laugh!
• Remember to feel, be, and express Love
• Remember to be Yourself
• Remember to be the best version of yourself.
• Remember that you can choose Who you Are. 
• Remember to go with the flow
• Remember to stop looking at the time and be in the present moment.
• Remember to see the beauty around you
• Remember to see good in everything
• Remember to breathe
• Remember to relax
• Remember to play
• Remember Balance
• Remember to express and feel Gratitude
• Remember to Be Positive
• Remember to Dance
• Remember to use your imagination for desirable outlooks (instead of stressing)
• Remember to expect the best, but to release attachment to outcomes; accept whatever comes your way
• Remember to enjoy yourself
• Remember to not get lost in the past, but to appreciate the lessons it gave you
• Remember to do good deeds
• Remember to eat healthy
• Remember to exercise
• Remember to be gentle with yourself, not be down on yourself, uplift yourself instead
• Remember to embrace Change (instead of resisting it)
• Remember mistakes are not mistakes, they are lessons
• Remember there are no right or wrong answers
• Remember to think outside the box
• Remember to take time for joy and the things you love
• Remember to spend time with positive people
• Remember to be in Nature, outside, connected with the earth.
• Remember to be kind 
• Remember to listen
• Remember to speak
• Remember to allow your emotions to flow and then let them go
• Remember to say "Yes!"
• Remember "Life Begins at the end of your Comfort Zone" so be spontaneous, adventurous
• Remember that you are Amazing and Beautiful and Wonderful and Perfect
• Remember Happiness is Now. 
• Remember that Life is what you make it, so have an awesome freakin Life! 

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☺ Bianca's "Recovery" Tips to Happiness ☺

One day I had hoped to write a mini auto-biography of all the things I went through in my life. I wanted my story to be an example to others to show that it doesn't matter what has happened in your life, you can always make a recovery and be Happy. But, I started to write this story, and it just made me sad. It wasn't the inspiring story that I felt that I would be writing. Understandably, I don't like dwelling on the past. It's not that I want to just forget it ever happened, but I no longer dwell on it and focus on the negatives. I am so incredibly grateful for everything that has happened to me, it all made me who I am today and I love love love who I am today. I am very very grateful for my past and that was a huge step in recovering to happiness. 

I didn't always feel this way about my past, not by a long shot. I will never write an autobiography. There is no point in retelling another depressing story. That doesn't make others feel good. I understand that it's inspiring to know that anyone can be happy, but I see the people who read all these depressing life stories because it's "inspiring" to hear other people's hard lives and know that they recovered, and those people are not happy people. If you spend so much of your time reading about other people's sad lives then it's not exactly going to fill you with a sense of happiness. Hope, maybe. But hope is nothing if you don't make changes in your life and shift your attention onto the positive. This is why I will never write an autobiography. 

I will however tell you this, to give you an understanding of where I came from, who I was then, and who I am now. 

I was depressed for years, suicidal, and used some negative outlets to "cope," again, the details and reasons to that depression I'm not diving into. I wallowed in that depression for years. I just didn't have the motivation to pick myself out of it and I didn't have the resources or inspiration to push me out either. This is why I write this blog, this is why I try to reach as many people as possible, to help others feel inspired and take that first step to better their lives. 

I also hated my body, I hated everything about myself. I thought no one liked me, I had no friends, I had no self-worth. My life was a miserable mess. 

*big deep breath*

Finally, I got my first push. At first they were little whispers of songs or words I'd hear, but eventually the charge to change became more burning inside of me and I finally really took the steps to better myself and my life. I took charge to Be Happy. The climb was a bit slow, I think it is for many of us when we don't really know what we're doing, we just know that we Want to feel better. 

My journey towards happiness would have been much faster and smoother if I'd had a blog to read like this, if I'd sought out positive sources sooner and if I'd one all the things I'm about to mention sooner.

Today, I love myself. I love my life. I am the happiest, most optimistic, positive little butterfly you'll ever encounter. Life still has ups and downs, life always will, but when the downs come along I know how to roll with them, to use them, to learn something from, and get back on that upbeat happy path. 

This post is to share with you some of the things that really helped me on my path--things that I wish I'd found sooner. All of the following points I am going to go over were essential and absolutely necessary on my healing path, which is why I am sharing them with you. 

Okay, so without further ado, Bianca's "Recovery" Resources…  

Books, Movies, and Reads: 

Books keep our minds fresh and I recommend reading often. A lot of the information you'll read in "self-help" type books will be similar, just told in different ways. Read them all. Hearing something over and over again is Good--when this information is positive and helpful-- because it will engrave new ideas into your head and create new brain patterns and habits. Changing your attitude and life takes time and repetition of these new concepts. So surround yourself with positive helpful information. 

"Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. This book Changed my life in every way possible. It was the book that made the light go on. The book that changed everything. The book that taught me all of my valuable lessons to improve my life and my attitude. 

"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I only read this book about a year ago, but I think it would have been very useful early on! The Law of Attraction is everything and it has definitely given me that final boost in all aspects of my life. It is a Must read! 

"The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. Fantastic! A simple quick and fun read that teaches you the principles of Taoism through Winnie the Pooh characters. What's not to love? Again, very useful in teaching you the best ways to live life, to use whatever comes your way, and to have the right attitude. 

"The Te of Piglet" a sort of "sequel" but with different valuable information. 

"The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. This was actually the first "spiritual" "self-improvement" book that I read. It's a fantastic read and very useful in understanding energies, human behaviours and patterns. There is a three-book series, but this was the most valuable one to me. 

Here are a couple other wonderful books that I've read that I found useful that weren't necessarily the ones that "changed my life" but certainly fantastic reads that helped along the way:

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle 

"Friendship with God" by Neale Donald Walsch

"What the Bleep do we know?" This movie is fantastic, amazing, and, again, one of those essential must-watch items. It teaches us why we do certain things, behave certain ways, and fall back into old habits. The more we know the more we can have an understanding of ourselves and therefor change ourselves. Watch it immediately! 

Aside from these, I surround my life with other positive reads, like lots of positive blog posts (which is why I write this blog!), positive phrases and quotes. My Facebook, tumblr, and Pinterest are Filled to the brim with positivity, I make sure I'm around it all the time and widdle away any negatives that remain. 

Changed my Diet: Cutting out foods I was allergic to, processed foods, refined sugars (this is a Huge one!), and general foods that make you feel "blah." This is essential and so many people miss this step! If you want to feel good, if you want your brain to heal, then give it energy and food it can actually use! 

Exercise! I tried a few times but never really gave exercise a chance because I didn't feel like it helped. However, when my life took it's biggest boosts in overall happiness, I also started to exercise regularly. Almost every day for half an hour. But any kind of regular exercise will help. I promise. 

Affirmations! I wrote down practically every single day (and still do) what I wanted in life, what I was grateful for, why I loved myself, and why I loved life. I didn't even know about the Law of Attraction at the time, but this practice helps tremendously! It is Essential! It's a daily refresher for your brain, and part of changing your life to being Happy and recovering is to break on brain habits and form new ones. Writing is the key to changing those brain patterns. 

Councillor Sessions. If I had never gone to a councillor I am quite convinced that I would not be where I am today. My problems, like most, were deep routed from past experiences and traumas. In order for me to get through those I had to see this councillor. I did what was called an "EMDR" session which allowed me to revisit my past and gain a better understanding and peace of mind over things that happened. I was able to let it go. I highly recommend seeing a councillor and, if you can, getting an EMDR session done. I felt like I was walking on clouds after that session, no joke! 

Took 5-HTP. My endorphins were low due to years of being depressed. It happens to anyone who's depressed. I absolutely 100% disagree with medical anti-depressants. However, I do believe in natural remedies that can help you out. Things like 5-HTP and St John's Wort are amazing for bringing your endorphin levels back to a healthy level. I took 5-HTP for several years (apparently you're not supposed to take it for quite that long *oops*) and eventually, when I was ready, weened myself off. It was one of those things that I kind of felt didn't help because it was very subtle, but whenever I'd stop taking them all of a sudden I would become so easily overwhelmed and stressed out. So, remember, sometimes things may seem subtle, but they actually do help tremendously. St John's Wort I also took a few times but generally couldn't because it interferes with birth control pills. 

Getting off Birth Control Pills. This was another one of those things that was essential to my healing. I don't care what anyone says, putting unnatural hormones into your body can Not be healthy for you. It messes up with your body's natural ability to do anything. They made me crazy. I tried so many different ones too. At first I didn't think they affected me negatively, but I was already depressed and emotional, so how was I supposed to tell? Going off them was one of the best steps I took. My hormones are still trying to mellow out, even after 4 years, but even so I feel tremendously better and aligned with myself.  

Positive Environment: Spending too much time with the wrong people is incredibly damaging. I had to remove certain people from my life, limit contact with others, and try to surround myself with positive like-minded people. People change, friends change, family changes. Adapt and make your world positive. You don't have to be mean, you just have to do what's right for you and beneficial to your healing environment. I had some amazing people around me that were huge sources of inspiration so I highly recommend spending as much time as possible with these people who really benefit you. 

Picking up a Positive Mental Attitude: Picking up the attitude of being Positive in the face of anything and everything seriously helped with all the bumps that came along. But I wasn't able to fully pick up this attitude until I did all of the points above. Do your best, it gets easier and more natural the longer you have this attitude. 

These are the biggest most important changes I made in my life. Like I already said, these were all essential to my healing. And now I can look back and be so grateful for my past, my present, and anything that comes my way. All the inspirational posts I write on this blog are part of that learning and healing process that I took, the lessons that were very valuable and healing in my recovery. I write this blog to pass on those lessons to you, to help you on your own path, and to inspire you to make positive changes. 

Remember to never get discouraged, to always stay hopeful, to do your best, and try to smile and focus on good things every single day. Work on your self every single day. Every day gets easier. Even if you experience the downs among the ups, you are still generally heading on a path upward, even if it can feel pretty rough sometimes. You are trying and you are working on your self, which means you're ahead from doing nothing. 

I hope this helps you! Know that I love you all very very much! 

Create a Nice Day! xo

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