{life reflections}

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{life reflections}

 Sporadic thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Loving the Current Version of Yourself

Hi Lovelies! 
Whoa! Another random post from me! ;) 
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. On a day such as today I was struck with an overwhelming sense of self and reflection that began with a Facebook post but that I’ve decided to share here as well—as I know most of you are missing posts. 
So, here is my little self-reflection today… 

Firstly, this photo is what started the flow of thoughts. This photo was my first Spring back in my home of Nelson, BC. I cannot believe this was already five years ago! Time flies! 

After this I started looking through an album of old photos from that year and the next few following it. Why? Because I look so damn happy in that photo and it had me thinking about my journey in this life. Shuffling trough those memories back in Nelson I feel very grateful for my journey. 
My life has always been a turbulent one, things have never "settled"; there is always something rocking the foundation on a very deep level, chipping away at depression and anxiety. BUT, when I moved back to Nelson I began a more conscious path of self-growth on the positive side. This is a path most of you are well-aware of as it began this very blog and all the advice and reflections I had to share because of it. Now, I’ve admitted in my last post that I may have gone a little overboard with the whole PMA (positive mental attitude) at first; I realized a year later that it could only last so long for me. But it was part of my journey, part of who I became, and now I've learned to embrace all sides of myself; both the dark and the light. Balance?? I'm a highly emotional person: my highs are over the wall, my lows have me down in the dirt; and they can switch as quickly as the swinging of a pendulum. But I'm more grounded as a person not denying either side of those. 
My Dark fuels my creativity and art. My Light fuels my relationships and life. 
My point? I have none. I just felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and satisfaction looking back at the last 5 years of my life (has it really been 5 years?!). This has been a while coming, in all honesty, as I felt a certain bitterness and resentment at the fact I was no longer this super duper happy woman all the time like I was in my PMA year. So, let me tell you: It's a nice place to be loving what I was but loving who I am more now, without bitterness or resent or longing for a different version of me. 
I’m sharing, as I like to do, because these moments of self-reflection are still easy for me to write and share in my busy life. When they come around, I still like to share my thoughts on life. 
I hope that you, too, are doing lots of self-reflection and that, no matter where you are at right now, you can see a light in the tunnel. The tunnel has no end, not at the moment, perhaps never, it is a journey through our ever-evolving souls and there is always room for growth. I hope you find balance, and that you learn to embrace every part of yourself without resent or longing. And if you haven’t found that place yet, don’t worry. The journey isn’t over yet! 

Okay, rambling reflection over! ;) 

Much Love, 


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☺ Holiday Season; Stress, Family, & Bringing Back the Magic! ☺

We're one and a half weeks away from Christmas! If that isn't exciting I don't know what is! It's a special time of year when things are a little more magical, people are extra happy, and everyone is a little kinder to one another… or at least that's how it should be. I know that, sadly, the reality is often the opposite. The holiday season has its own load of stress to unleash. Money is tight and yet we run around spending it all on material presents. Parents fight with each other in toy stores over getting the latest must-have gifts for their children. Families stress over making a big huge family dinner. There are presents to think of, find, and buy. There are christmas parties to attend, errands to run, shopping to do. And if your family is like most then it is dysfunctional and untamed and can draw out unresolved issues, emotions, and stresses. Not to mention it's the beginning of the winter so many of us feel the effects of the lack of sun and therefor Vitamin D.

But worry not! I'm not trying to paint an unhappy picture for you only to say, "now have fun with all that hectic stress! See ya!" No, no, no. I am here to bring attention to what you may already be aware of (and if you're not, draw your awareness to it so that it can be remedied--should it need remedying) and remind us all that the holiday season doesn't have to be stressful. Remember that you get to choose after all what you want in your life, how you are going to react, and what you are choosing to do. 

I want to place emphasis once more on the family issues, because I feel like this is the time of year when things can get especially dramatic and draw out those family issues and problems we have within ourselves. I know, personally, and from hearing the stories of many others, family is a tricky topic. Many families have divorced parents, abusive characters, are dysfunctional, or in other cases are just plain bonkers. But I want to say very firmly, you are not alone! Families are not perfect, because people are not perfect. We are all on a journey trying to learn more about ourselves and life, how to behave, how to grow, and how to be human. Everyone stumbles, has issues, and has trouble in their various relationships. And that's okay. So if it distresses you to feel like your family is not "normal" and happy and enjoying the "perfect" holiday season, then know that this is not ideal, normal, or probably common. And, again, that's okay. Think about it, even in all those magical sappy movies there is always a problem that needs resolving before everyone can be happy and enjoy each others company and life. In that sense, the movies actually aren't too far off, because, such is life. There are problems and issues that need resolving in order for peace and love to shine brighter. And if you want a happy ending then it's up to You to choose it. You write your own story! You get to choose the ending.

All the people and events in our lives shape us, make us who we are, provide us with lessons, and make us richer people. Your family may not be perfect, but if you are fortunate enough to enjoy the holiday season with even one special person in your life then be grateful and happy and enjoy every second if it. Don't focus attention on the things you don't have, instead enjoy the things that you do have. Be grateful and mindful of all the things you have in your life. Don't spend so much attention on the negativities within your family or your life, it does you nor them any good. People don't change overnight. Some people don't change much at all. But You can choose to be the person you want to be. You can choose to be happy, joyous, caring, giving, and jolly. You can choose to surround yourself with the people that genuinely care about you and love you and with whom you receive an equally beneficial relationship with. Your family is not just your parents and siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. Your family is made up of the people who enrich your life; your friends, significant others, acquaintances, pets, and so on. So spend your holiday season with the people you love and enjoy, and embrace and be grateful for their company and that sense of community. Cherish what you have. And that is how you can bring that magic back to the holiday season. Be extra kind to your direct family as well, forgive and be easy on them, even if sometimes it feels like they don't deserve it. But you don't have to spend the entire day with them, be respectful of your own needs and happiness. Enjoy their company when you are with them, and then move on without carrying that extra baggage with you when you depart. Resolve conflicts that need to be resolved. Self-reflect if you need to self-reflect and realize what within your family still upsets you. I've said it before, but you must help yourself first in order to be of good to others. In truth, the holiday season may draw out family drama, but if it does then it should be a sign to you that there are still some things that need to be worked on. And this shouldn't stress you out. Take it with a deep calming breath, accept it, remember it is there to make you a stronger person, and figure out what you need to do to deal with it. If that isn't immediately clear to you, that's okay too. The path will become clear, just don't carry the negative baggage around with you to dampen your mood. 

Enjoy the holiday season because you can choose to. Choose to be kind and happy. Choose to be giving and caring. Choose to carry around that extra bit of magic and holiday spirit with you and pass it on to others. Make your life and the holiday season as brilliant and vibrant as you are. Remember, you choose. So choose to enjoy the magic and childlike wonder of this time of year. Make it magical and wonderful. After all, how ever you choose to celebrate it, it is a pretty fantastic time of year when we let it be.

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☺ Inspirational; Don't Make Excuses for Your Behaviour☺

Excuses are excuses no matter how you look at it. You always have the choice of how you are going to behave--that is; you get to Choose every moment how you are going to act. 

We all have histories, incidences, experiences, tribulations, and events that helped shape who we are, our personalities, our actions, behaviours, thought-processes, morals, and beliefs. But all of these things change as we change--as we grow and evolve--and we always get a choice in how we want to be. To say that you are pre-dispositioned to act a certain way in any given situation is not giving yourself any credit at all. To say that your behaviour is a result of "this" or "that" or that you are acting negatively because something happened in your past simply illustrates your unwillingness to accept responsibility for your self or your life. Blaming the past also means that you are unwilling to live in the present. Whatever the past was, it's passed. You get to choose in the present. You get to choose your actions, reactions, attitudes, and behaviours in this moment. You choose, not your past. You have an intelligent mind, you have a will to do things, You are the one deciding your actions, not your past, or anything else for that matter. Passing the blame is irresponsible and self-defeating.

Excuses are excuses no matter what way you look at it and no matter how hard you may try to convince yourself and others otherwise, it doesn't change the matter. Accept responsibility over your own behaviour and that you get to choose every moment Who you Are and how you are going to act. Take the credit and responsibility for your self and your life instead of allowing yourself to be self-defeated and not in control of your own being. Blaming other people, your past, an addiction, anything outside of yourself is just an excuse, an outlet from accepting responsibility. Stop looking outside of yourself for answers and blame. It is within you, looking inward where you will find responsibility, action, and control. And when you accept that control then you can fully choose your behaviour and actions. You decide. 

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☺ Being Someone You're Not is a Waste of the Person You Are!☺

Pretending and trying to be something you're not, something that isn't true to You, is a waste of Who You actually Are. Be You! Because no one else is going to do it for you. 

Stop caring what others think or say and embrace every part of who you actually are. Be free and open to be You. 

Step out of your Comfort Zone and be yourself. It may sound like a strange concept that one would have to "step out of your comfort zone" to be one's self, but we have spent a lifetime wrapped up in a society that is constantly telling us What to be, How to Act, how not to act or be, and to basically Not be You. Conform, stay silent, stay sleeping, stay dumbed down. Be a clone, a robot, a drone. We are made to believe that acting out of accordance with what society tells us makes us "different" and that we should not be "different." This is positively silly because we are All different, we are Individuals; meaning we are not all the same. To try to fit into society's perfect little package and limited ideals is an insult to your own intelligence and Who you Are. Society actually teaches us to be unhappy, so that we try to fix our unhappiness with "things," and so I ask; who wants to be unhappy? Certainly not I and I don't think that you should want to be either. Act the way that makes you Happy. Let loose, step over that line society has drawn. Go ahead, be shameless, act "out of line." Be the Unique and Amazing Individual that you Are. And never sacrifice who that person is for anything or anyone. Don't let others tell you how to be, who to be, and who not to be. 

Don't let others tell you what you "should" be doing with your life and your future. Do the things that make you Happy. Live the life that You choose to live. Never be ashamed, embarrassed, shy, reluctant, or "held-back" to do all the things you want to do and act the way that you would like to act. Enjoy yourself, your time, everything that you do. Stop caring what others think, it really doesn't matter. Half of those people you will never even see again, so why do we allow their opinions or strange looks to deter us from our desired course of action and behaviours? Be free to act and do the things that you choose, from the small, seemingly insignificant, to the massive life-choices. Don't be afraid to be yourself and to go against the narrow-minded ideals that we've been taught is "normal" and "right." Never sacrifice who you are because someone else has a problem with it. Those who matter will love and accept every part of your quirky and unique personality. Those who have a problem with it are not worth the time of day. They are just miserable with their own conformity so pay them no mind and don't take it personally as they are just facing their own problems--or refusing to face their own problems. Live for Your Self. If you actually be the person that you Want to be then you would literally astonish yourself with the amazing potential that would open up in your life. You would actually be Living for You. And that is an amazing gift.  

All you have in this world is You, the Here & Now, and This Life you've been given. Embrace every part of it and live it the way that You desire. When you live this way then you are living to your fullest potential and in accordance to the natural laws of You. Don't waste another second of your time trying to be someone that you are not. 

Be foolish, shameless, free, happy. Be You right now. 

Never apologize to anyone for Who You Are. You have a beautiful soul, so feel good and feel comfortable Being Who You Are. Wanting to be someone you're not is a waste of the person you are. Give yourself the gift of being joyfully and unabashedly You. Be Yourself and No one else. You are an amazing gift to the world, don't limit yourself by not being You.

Check out:

"You are Who You Want to Be"

Peace and Love!

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☺ Inspirational; "Life Begins at the end of your Comfort Zone" ☺

I love this quote (by Neale Donald Walsch's Friendship With God ) and the lesson behind it can be incredibly liberating. 

I'll get more into the book itself  in another post, I know that some people are weary as soon as the name "God" comes into any dialogue. Just know that the book is amazing whether you believe in God or not. 

Anyways...

The concept of today's post is really quite simple; step out of your comfort zone and you'll discover a Life you've been missing out on. You'll like what you'll find.  

Life is about new experiences, but we tend to resist anything new or different, or even try to go running in the opposite direction all-together. 

Do something uncomfortable for a change! Life gets very stale if you stick to your habitual routine and activities and never wander from them. The Human brain needs growth and stimulation, routines stifle that life and, more importantly, can prevent happiness. Do you really think that people who lock themselves up in their little bubbles are truly happy? I mean Genuinely Happy? Unless you're some sort of strange super human, probably not. We are Human Beings and we require Being  in order to keep our lives wonderful and happy. 

Almost everyone has their own comfort zones that they would rather stay in. Break those walls! 

Step out of your Comfort Zone! Do something totally spontaneous and do something for you. Try taking up any opportunity that presents itself to you even if it may not sound particularly appealing. At least you'll have tried it for yourself and it will be a new experience to grow from regardless. Try New things! Put yourself in a situation that intimidates you, one that may make you feel a little tense at first. Do it and let go of your mind; allow yourself to ease into any situation. Be observant and open to it. Embrace it and Be with it. 

You'll be suprised by the fun you might be missing out on. Don't be so resistant. Go with the flow. Let go of your pesky mind and reserves and just jump in and go for it! What's the worst that could happen? Any experience is a good one so long as you have the right attitude. Be adventurous and have some fun!

Learn to not be so uptight, it's a key in learning to step out of your comfort zone. Go ahead, be shameless! Stop caring what others think! Be a goof and be ridiculous! Bust out a dance move in the middle of the grocery store, sidewalk, or wherever public you might find yourself today. This I am challenging you as a Must for today! Learn to be comfortable with Yourself and others will be too, and you'll learn to be comfortable doing just about anything. 

Purposely step out of your comfort zone at least once a week. You know, live a little! ;) 

Peace & Love

xo

~Bianca 

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☺ You are Who You Want to Be ☺

We don't give ourselves enough credit in our Life Choices. All of our life choices; from a simple what to eat for breakfast to resisting food addictions; from choosing what to do in school to our career choice; from impulsive buying to having money to do the things we actually enjoy; from choosing how we feel to Being Who we Are.

The bottom line is that we do have a Choice. And this last part is where I'm placing particular emphasis: We Choose Who We Are.

Why is this the point of emphasis? Because if you can consciously decide Who You Are, then it makes way for just about everything else you will choose or do in Life.

We choose, almost always deeply subconsciously and automatically, Who we Are. But the sad part is that we usually don't choose to Be Who we Want to Be. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps its largely society and media-based, with mixed messages everywhere you go and the overwhelming message that You Are What You Buy. Which couldn't detach you further from your True Self. Perhaps for others its self-doubt or pity, or an addiction to being miserable. It may sound strange, but lots of people are this way. We simply don't open our eyes and realize that, at the end of the day, and at the end of all the excuses, we can Choose. 

Before you can consciously Choose Who You Want to Be, you have to look at Who You Are at this moment. You may discover you like who you are. You may discover you dislike a few things about yourself. Or you may discover, like many, you don't really know yourself at all.

I remember in school, every so often an assignment of some sort would come up where you would have to describe Who You Are. I never had a clue. I never knew who I was. At all. I was this blank entity going through the daily routine of school and being plagued by the confusion of conformity and society and general teenage hormones. It wasn't until I had graduated and lived on my own that I truly began to discover Who I was, and later, Who I Wanted to Be. 

Back then, and a couple years following graduation, I hated myself. I was depressed. Suicidal at times. For years, I didn't like any aspect of myself. I'd pick myself apart regularly. I thought I was worthless, pathetic. Any negative thought I could have, I had. Not only that, but I dwelled on this negativity continuously. I remember listening to this one song in particular that I'd cry to and hate myself to a couple days a week. It was no wonder I was depressed for so long, I was literally teaching my Mind to hate myself. 

As I did more soul-searching I discovered the Real Me. I slowly uncovered a Happy me. I discovered a loving and compassionate self with an eagerness to learn and to help others. I discovered I had interests and hobbies. All of a sudden, I was learning and researching things on my own because I had a genuine interest in many many things. 

In school, it was so restricting that when suddenly you were given the freedom to write an essay on a topic of your choice, I was like a deer caught in the headlights. I never knew what to write about. I simply hadn't been given the opportunity to discover my own interests before this. Now, I have endless things to write and research about. This freedom that I gave myself allowed me to step out of our society and its set ways and discover what Life was all about. I was free. And, more importantly, I was free to be Me. 

Once you discover some things about yourself, again, you may find things that you may or may not like. But this is the point; you can Choose to continue having those characteristics, or you can Choose that they are not What you Want to Be. Everyone has "faults" so speak, and that's perfectly ok. Being aware of these "faults" means that we can learn from them. And we can learn to have them work for us rather than against us. We can grow from them. And we can Change them. 

It has taken me years to really know myself. But it is a journey, and it is a part of the beauty of life. If you are aware of the process it will move along much smoother. I had no idea the process I was going through, not until years later, after reading lots of amazing books, seeing a councilor, and setting my life straight. I suddenly realized one day that I Liked myself. This was a huge revelation for me, after years of self-loathe. This alone brought me a lot of Happiness, or perhaps it was the other way around, but either way I was Happy and I Liked myself. 

Some time shortly after this, I continued to be consciously aware of Who I Was. I believe it was in a book somewhere along the lines that I received the message that I had a Choice in Who I want to Be. And this revelation was even greater. Suddenly I had a Choice. I could be Who I Wanted to Be. It seemed so simple and obvious. I couldn't believe that I had never been aware of this before. 

It takes practice and it takes a lot of self-awareness, but it's worth every second of it. Remind yourself every day Who You Want to Be. Meditate on it. Repeat it in your head during a workout, or even in any daily routine. It will make you smile, it will bring you an incredibly light-feeling and freedom. You will realize that You can Choose to Smile. That you can Choose not to judge or discriminate. That you can Choose to be Nice to others. Choose to be Positive. Choose to be Compassionate. And Choose, ultimately, to be Happy.

And we can Choose to have Love in our Lives instead of pain and ordeals.

A Positive Mind brings Positive Results. The Happier and more Positive you are, the more you will receive that back into your life. It's contagious, in a beautiful amazing way. 

We are constantly Changing, despite human-nature to resist change. We are continually Changing Who we Are, and are constantly discovering more aspects of Who we Are. You can be someone different every day if you so Choose. But remember, the Choice is Yours. 

So five yourself some credit. Choose to Love Yourself. Choose to Be Happy. And Choose to Be Who You Want to Be. 

Check out: 

Being Someone You're Not is a Waste of the Person You Are!

Peace and Love,

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.