☺ This too shall pass: How to Let Go and Move Forward ☺

I think it's human nature, perhaps the way our society is today, that we have a tendency to hold onto things as if our lives depend on them. Even if these are bad things. In fact, it's usually the bad things that we hold onto. We don't like change. We like what is comfortable and normal to us, again, even if such things are actually bad. It's still "normal" and familiar so we cling to it and fall into the same habits because they are so familiar. 

Our minds are also obsessive, muling over events or experiences, wondering if we could have done things differently, blaming ourselves or others, and stressing ourselves to sickness. We resist moving forward and cling to negative experiences. Constantly.  

We all do it. But we can also all work through it and learn to let it go. Because stress has no place in your beautiful wonderful life. 

So are you ready to let go and move forward? Okay, here we go!

Steps to letting go and moving forward: 

1. Remember that it was not your fault. Life is unpredictable, full of so many varying factors and people and things that we simply cannot change or predict. We cannot stop the "bad" from sometimes crossing our paths. Even if you are the direct cause of someone’s pain, things happen for a reason and so do your actions. You must lookout for yourself and sometimes there is a ripple that not everyone is favourable to. We all make mistakes, it's how we learn, so there is no place for guilt as long as you learn.
2. "Stress Happens when the Mind Resists what Is" Keep in mind that negative feelings do not serve you. Feeling guilty, down, sad, angry, unforgiving, or anything of the sort locks you in place and doesn't help you, others, or your predicament. Worrying is a misuse of your imagination. Instead, accept what has happened and remind yourself that stressing serves zero purpose. Spend more time imagining a positive outcome instead. 
3. You can’t change the past. Even if you make a mistake or feel guilty over past actions, there is nothing you can do about it anymore. What's done is done. The only thing that really matters is this moment Right Now. Dwelling on the past won’t change it. What you Can do is take lessons from your past mistakes so that you can create a better future. That being said, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll never make them again. We have a tendency to repeat our actions and situations until the lessons become a part of us. Don't get discouraged by repetition, just know that you are still heading in the right direction. Releasing the past is your ticket to moving forward freely in life.
4. Everything happens for a reason. The reason for things happening in our lives may not be immediately clear to us, but things have a way of falling into place at some point or another. The way to see the reasons sooner is by learning the lessons and seeking out the positive. You can't move forward if you're always looking back. While you may be waiting for a clear "falling into place," you can always seek out a comforting answer or an opportunity for change in even the shittiest situations if you look closely enough for the light. Remember that attitude is everything. 
5. You get a second Chance every Day. A new day brings a clean slate, a fresh start, a new beginning. You get a second chance every single second of every single day. If you're having trouble moving forward then remember that you can always move, change majors, quit your job, or just decide to get out of bed and make today kick-ass. The power to change is always in your hands, it is always your responsibility to move forward. Your Choice.  
6. Will it matter a Year from Now? Picture yourself five years from now, will you even remember today? Will you remember what it was that you are so concerned about in this moment that you are stressing yourself silly? Will you remember eating all that cake, or failing a test, or getting shot down by a guy/girl, or getting into a fight with your friends? What seems world-ending today probably isn’t going to ruin your life.
7. You Deserve Good Things. One of the major blocks holding us back is our lack of self-worth. We can't move forward when we don't feel as if we deserve good things in our lives. This is something that you must must must work through. Learn to love yourself, to accept yourself, and to welcome good things into your life. Know that you are awesome. Know that You Are Deserving. Repeat this to yourself daily. 

 Lastly… the next time you feel yourself stressing out… 

Take a step back. Take a deep breath and just try to laugh and force a smile. 

Take a second to remember exactly who you are, what you are about, and what you stand for. L

Life will never give you anything in this world that you can't handle! 

Remember to be strong, be adaptable, appreciate yourself, appreciate others, and keep moving positively forward!

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☺ Ways to Fight the "Blahs"! ☺

You know those days where you just feel like you can't beat that "blah" or that tension that you feel all over your body? When stress becomes a bit much to the point it feels like your entire body is constraining and needing to release but don't know how? Well, you're not alone. We all have moments when we are tense. So, what to do about it? I like to take some time to do as many of the following tips as I can, however sometimes you're just not in the right place or have the time to do it all and so any one of these exercises can help. Do all of them, do one of them, do as many as you can depending on your situation and setting. 

1. Scream and shout and let it all out… that's what it's all about. ;) But seriously, just letting out a good "RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" can feel amazing. No one gets hurt and you get to let out a good shout which releases some pent up energy. If you're somewhere where you can't let out a loud "RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" then go through the motions (in private or you might look a little funny) and scream your "RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  in your head and pretend it's coming out of your open mouth, feeling the release. 

2. Sigh out loud. This is a breathing exercise which helps to calm the mind. Inhaling deeply through your mouth and then exhaling with an outloud sigh through your nose. Yes your nose. I know it may sound strange but it absolutely works. Just plain sighing helps too. 

3. Dance your ass off! I mean really really dance and let out all that energy. Not only will you release negativity but you'll be refilling your body with positive vibes. If you have to start with an aggressive song then do it, but you're only allowed one angry song, then be sure to switch up your beat to something positive by the end of your dance off. ;) 

4. Happy List! Pull out that pen and paper and start listing off all the things you're grateful for. This practice is great for any time of the day and you can do this even if you're in a crowded space and don't really have the opportunity to do all of those noisier tips above. You may feel tense at the start of this list but by the end you'll feel much better and will have switched up your energy. If you haven't, keep writing down things you're grateful for until you do feel better. 

5. Meditate. Calm your mind, clear your mind and breathe deeply. Meditation is the cure-all for anything, just focus on your breathing, breathing deeply into your stomach, and releasing any thoughts that come to your mind. 

6. Stretch! Stress and tension get stored in your muscles and sometimes all you need to do is have a reaaaaally good stretch session. Feel out where your body is holding tension and hold those stretches for as long as possible. Push yourself into deeper stretches than usual, really stretch it out. It shouldn't hurt, but you should feel that burn. 

7. Go for a walk. Breathe in some fresh air and get your body moving. Again, this helps to clear your mind and empty out the negative thoughts so that you can refill with positive upbeat thoughts. Any kind of movement helps, whether it's a leisurely walk or a full-on run. If you're walking, say "thank you" with each step you take too, it's a very powerful exercise that can totally turn your mood around.   

8. Change your surrounding. Get up and go somewhere else. A change of scenery can help change your mood, same with doing a different activity, so try to get somewhere different, preferably outside and around as much nature and trees as possible. 

9. Get moving! I know, I already said to go for a walk and to dance, but really doing any kind of physical activity will be beneficial and I will largely recommend doing yoga! It's the perfect activity to stretch muscles out and get active and breathing. It's like a combination of several of the above! ;) 

10. When all else fails, remember that it's just temporary. Sometimes there's just nothing that seems possible to dissolve tension and it does you no good to dwell on a dirty mood. So, don't dwell on it and remember that it will pass, and the sooner you can stop paying attention to the tension, the sooner you will allow it to release and simply take it's course. 

When you've practiced feeling better and clearing up that tension then there is one last thing you can do to prevent it from returning and is always a good idea; Resolve! This is one of those tips that's more of an inward look upon your self and your life. Usually when we are tense or stressed there is a reason for it and unless we take a moment to analyze and take a look into what it might be then, chances are, it might return. However, over-analyzing can make it worse, so be sure to look gently at your life and situation and if you can't figure out where the tension came from then don't dwell on it! It will become clear to you when you are calm, not stressing over what it might be. 

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☺ Learning to not get Overwhelmed ☺

It's really quite easy to allow little problems in life to creep up on us and become overwhelming. This often happens before we can realize it too, and suddenly we are faced with all sorts of stresses that we never dealt with (because we kept pushing them aside) that all come back to make us feel flushed, stressed, and, well, overwhelmed. 

I know that getting overwhelmed too easily was one of my own continuing struggles as my life became what I wanted it to but certain areas still needed improvement. I tend to (I'm getting better at this) take on a lot at a time, which in turn becomes a pressuring feeling of being overwhelmed by the work load and time efficiency. I figure this is a subject that most others can relate to, whether it's from work, personal, or just plain life.

So what to do about it? 

Awareness, as with anything, is the first step. Recognize when you are taking on too much at one time, when relationships are draining you, and when life is becoming too much. 

Hit the Reset Button
There are lots of simple steps you can take that will make that overwhelmed feeling vanish quickly and your time spent with more ease. The biggest thing though is that you must, must, must give yourself a moment, just for you, to breathe and to think. It's like hitting the "reset" button on your mind so that you can go on with your day in a better mood and with a more efficient mindset. Once you are giving yourself a moment, let out any emotions that you may be bottling up. Remember "let emotions flow and then let them go." Feel better? Hopefully at least a little, and there may be times when this simple step is all you need to do to get back on track, to feel more focussed, and realize what you need to do for yourself. Other times it's not as easy, so on to the next steps…

Remind yourself of Positive Thinking. 
Force a smile and a laugh, remind yourself that you are in control of your mood and your life. Think Happy Happy Happy. Tell yourself you love life and love your Self. Remind yourself that nothing is worth stressing over. Whatever will be, will be. Go with the flow and remember that "stress happens when the mind resists what is" (~Way of the Peaceful Warrior) so stop resisting what Is and learn to accept what you are given and work with it instead of against it. 

Mantras!

Having some key phrases or mantras to repeat to yourself is another very helpful trick, and will help you to do get back on track and reset those negative brain waves back onto positive ones. We all process things differently, so figure out what the best way of doing these affirmations is for you personally. Maybe it's just thinking or meditating. Maybe saying them out loud. Perhaps reading them. What I (personally) find most effective is to write them down. It helps to visually and mentally process the ideas and truly lets my mind reset. Even better, write them down and then repeat them out loud or in your head.

The point, in finding ways to cope, is to find ways in which to reset your mood and therefor allow yourself to get back on track, get on with your day, come back to the Here and Now, and be Happy. You know, opening up your heart and getting back to the loveliness that is life. And getting back on track to a positive mindset and being able to let silly stresses and ordeals go. You truly must really sit with your thoughts and allow yourself the time to reset, and to think straight so that resolutions may come more easily to you. Which brings me to the next step…

Take a Second Look. 

Once you've taken that step back and that moment to yourself, it's time to reassess your situation. If time or work is your issue then just take it one step at a time. Tell yourself that you have enough time to do everything that you need. Take a deep breath before getting back to your busy life. Tackle one task at a time. Looking too far ahead and getting overwhelmed by something that hasn't, or might not, happen is silly and self-defeating. Stay in the present moment, stay focussed on your task at hand, where you are at right Now. When you find yourself getting stressed out as your mind wanders back to deadlines or the future, stop, take a deep breath, and bring yourself back to the present moment. Solutions are always found and present themselves in the present moment. Have faith that everything will be okay and that all your problems will be resolved. 

Ask yourself; will it matter in a year from now? A month from now? A week from now? We tend to get stressed out for no good reason and one of my favourite little mantras and reminders to ground myself is saying just that; "will it matter in a year from now?" because chances are it won't. You won't remember how you were stressed out, why you were stressing, or that you felt down about a certain thing. Most of the time we feel silly afterwards for stressing because there really was no point. Chances are the sources of your overwhelmed feelings are simply bumps in the road that will pass you by and you'll never look back on ever again. Everything works out in the end, remember that. Just look at your life now. And if your life isn't what you want it to be, then start making changes so that it is. You have the power to be in control of your life, of your emotions, and your future. 

I won't lie to you, it can be tricky and it can take some practice, but keep at it and it becomes much easier and the bumps become fewer as well. And I'll say it again; you must take the time to be with yourself to truly reset. Giving yourself that time can totally transform the rest of your day so make it a habit. Not only will you feel better, but you'll feel more productive and clear-headed. So give that time to yourself. And remember that no solutions ever come from stressing out. 

Stay present, stay grounded, take a deep breath, and take things as they come.  

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☺ Happiness is Good for My Health ☺

"The organs weep the tears the eyes refuse to shed." 

Burying emotions instead of letting them out, choosing not to speak up openly and honestly when something is on your mind, leaving issues unresolved… we have many ways in which we allow stress to build up in our lives and these are just a few common examples. We often underestimate the power of stress as a very damaging factor in our lives. But when we allow stress to build, when we stop paying attention to our needs and sanity, it eventually hits a breaking point. 

Most of the physical symptoms we experience in our lives--like infections, aches, and pains--are merely symptoms of the emotions and problems we are storing up in our bodies.  Our bodies quite literally let out what our emotions refuse to in the form of sickness, trying to inform us we need to change things around and not allow more stress to build, or that we need to deal with unresolved issues. Just about any (if not all) human illnesses, sicknesses and problems are a direct result of this built up stress stored within us for an extended period of time. This stress comes from our lack of willingness to listen and to feel what we need to. Too often we just dismiss these signals, try to put a blanket over it with medicine, and do not acknowledge its source. 

"Unexpressed emotion is stored in the muscles of the body" ~Wilhelm Reich. 

Figure out what it is that is causing you stress in your life, the things about your life you are unhappy with, acknowledge them and then focus your energy and thoughts on the opposite outcome--the things that you Do want. Keep in mind how the Law of Attraction works and how to bring more positive things into your life by focussing on what you want instead of what you don't want. The more you dwell on not having certain things, the longer you will continue to not have those things. But absolutely work through the things that are causing you stress and figure out ways that those stresses will… well, no longer stress you out. 

Let yourself feel the ups and downs of life, of your raw emotions. Don't inhibit your emotions, don't resist life, let them flow freely as they should. When you suppress these things is when your body will start trying to scream at you again to work through emotions instead of building more stresses.  

The good news is that your health can be controlled by your choice to be Happy. Happiness truly is good for your health--it is the single best thing for your health! You can pop pills, take prescribed medication (which usually does more harm than good), even take medicinal herbs and remedies, eat well and exercise, but unless you do something about that stress then you could still end up being sick or experience those physical discomforts in your body. This will range depending on how much stress you have built up in your body and how long you've been stressed out for. But the good news is that you can choose to be in control of your stresses, just as you control your happiness, and therefor your health. You can always turn it around and heal yourself and your life simply by being Happy. Everything comes full circle, remember the inter-connectedness of the systems in our bodies. Choosing to properly take care of your mental self will heal, or maintain, your physical body's health. 

Choosing to be Happy is good for your health!! 

...Just in case you didn't get that. It is the single most important thing you need to remember to be physically healthy and keep that body working efficiently and happily. And choosing to be happy means taking the right steps to doing so. It means feeling your emotions and allowing those emotions to flow freely. It means taking appropriate action to resolve problems and conflicts, even if it may not always be easy. It means consciously Choosing to smile and to laugh and to do things you enjoy. It means being honest with your self and listening to your heart fully. It means doing what you need to do for your Self in order to maintain balance, serenity, and bliss. It means taking care of your Self instead of putting it on the back burner. 

It starts with a decision to Be Happy, it continues by maintaining a positive attitude and atmosphere in your life, and learning to appropriately cope and deal with the lows and bumps that appear along the road--for there will always be bumps along the road. Our greatest tool in all of this is our ability to Choose for ourselves. Never underestimate the power of your choices and your will to be and act the way you want. 

While I mentioned earlier that exercising regularly and eating well may not make a difference in your health if you're still stressing, they are still huge contributing factors in a healthy happy mind, so therefor will affect how easily you become stressed. Not to contradict myself, I'm promoting a healthy lifestyle, and trying to get across to you the importance of taking proper care of yourself, your Whole self and taking into account that everything within you is connected and important and requires your love and attention. Exercising keeps you physically in shape and provides the brain with oxygen and happy endorphins. Eating well helps to keep your digestive system working smoother, without giving it the stresses of trying to figure out how to digest unhealthy foods that can also negatively affect your brain.

And remember that the right thing for your personal sanity may not always feel like the easiest thing to do, especially when it feels like it may affect other people. But if we exhaust ourselves trying to help others then we have nothing left for ourselves and, again, that comes back full circle. Your own sanity must come first, and it is not selfish to do so. There is no point in allowing stress to build in your own life while trying to appease the life of another. Or you will end up being sick and need of help as well. 

Understand that your Happiness matters! Understand that your happiness is necessary and valid and important. You are Allowed to be Happy. And that you can and have to Choose to be Happy in order to actually Be Happy. 

Take time to take care of yourself. It is the single most important yet neglected key to true continuing happiness and health. Take time to nurture your soul. Take time to pay attention to your emotions, to detect and work through and eliminate stresses rather than sweep them aside. Be assertive in your needs and become comfortable with that assertion--know that it is necessary for your personal sanity. And know that your personal sanity and happiness are both important and necessary for your Self, relationships, health, body, and life. Everything comes full circle and if you are not attentive to your personal needs then those problems will come pouring out into other aspects of your relationships, interactions, health, and life. 

Learn to deal appropriately with stress and deal with former trauma to release your body from unneeded physical discomfort. Ask your stresses what they have come to teach you; surrender and learn from them. 

Make yourself Happy and your body will respond in the same manner.  

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☺ Being You in times of Stress ☺

When things get stressful or challenging, it is probably the hardest times in our lives to actually Be our Selves. That is often because it becomes more difficult to be positive and happy in times of stress and ordeals. But it is important to stay true to yourself no matter what is going on in your life, to be the person you Are and Want to Be, even when stressful situations arise. Don't compromise Who You Are in times of stress. Really, what today's lesson comes down to is this: You're Allowed to feel happiness even when times are tough. In fact, I encourage it! 

Too often we feel that we shouldn't feel happiness or positivity during tumultuous times so we allow ourselves to become mopey and lost and not act ourselves or be the person that we want to be. We go back to bad habits of focussing on the negative instead of continuing on our happy paths. But this path helps no one, not yourself or those around you. 

Somehow we feel as if it is somehow inappropriate to smile or to feel happy when things in life are difficult. We tend to feel this way especially when the ordeal is not our own and we are trying to support a friend or family member. But this kind of negative switch in your attitude does them no good and certainly does yourself no good. Being sympathetic is one thing, but when we take that sympathy to the point of only feeling the misery that another feels or the negativity of a situation strongly on our shoulders then the spiral effect occurs and does us damage instead of good. It does not help to be mopey and sad. What helps is to be optimistic and hopeful. It is not inappropriate to smile or to try to make another smile. Weeping in loathing is a terrible place to stay and only continues the bad feelings and prolongs the ordeal. No matter how bad things are, there is always a turn-around, always a higher point arising, so don't get stuck in the bad when the good can be so close and tangible. We choose our lives, we choose our attitudes, we choose what paths we want to walk. So choose to be positive and optimistic instead of being a downer. I'm not saying that you can't feel sad; on the contrary, I encourage you to feel your emotions no matter what they may be, but the key is releasing them instead of holding onto a bad feeling. Playing on down emotions is not appropriate and it is not helpful. If you want to be helpful to another, be optimistic, don't add on to their own misery. If you want to help yourself, realize that you are allowed to smile and bounce back and still enjoy life. 

It is important to not get lost in the ordeal and to say true to Who you Are. Being strong and optimistic during challenging times is far more productive and helpful. Keeping a smile on your face is important. Remember Who You Are and Who You Want to Be and continue to be that person. Allow yourself to remain happy and positive instead of a pessimistic mess. Remember that more can be accomplished in life through a Positive Mental Attitude, and by not allowing ourselves to get lost into negative stresses and despairs. Negativities generally get us no where. 

So Be You, always and no matter what. No matter what is going on with you or your life, Be You. Because You have power over your life, attitude, and decisions. Focus on the positive and you'll progress much faster and with much more ease through any situation. Those problems will become much more manageable and tolerable when you remain yourself. 

Don't compromise who you are. It is one of life's greatest challenges to be your true self without compromise to what's going on around you. Life will always have ups and downs, so don't falter and become the opposite of your happy self when things get tough--or else you'll spend most of your life not Being You. And that is a waste of a perfectly lovely life. 

"There may be difficulties at the moment, but I will not lost the Virtue that I possess. It is when the ice and snow are on them that we see the strength of the cypress and the pine. I am grateful for this trouble around m, because it gives me an opportunity to realize how fortunate I am." ~Te of Piglet. 

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☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

Hello to another beautiful Monday! Yes, it may be the beginning of another work week for many of us, but that doesn't mean the world is over and that there is nothing worth smiling about. There is happiness to be found at any time in any situation if you choose it. Need some extra help this week? Read on for this week's Motivation tips! :)

☺ Take 5! To Meditate… Before you reach out to someone else, take five minutes to connect with yourself. This will help you come from a place of balance when you interact with someone else. 

☺ Don't Shower… Today is the Day of Polar Bears so do something to help them! Stink for the Arctic! If you showered today already then make up for it by not showering tomorrow! And only take 5 minute showers! Do good, receive good--here's one of your good deeds for the week! 

☺ Take a Leap! Take a Chance! You are more likely to regret the things you Don't Do, as opposed to the things you actually do do (heehee, do-do ;p). Stop being afraid of making mistakes and know that there is no such thing as a "mistake", no such thing as "wrong choices." Every chance you take will bring you closer to a heightened sense of Self and Happiness. So take risks and take chances. Just go for it and believe that you can!  

☺ You Are Ready! Stop thinking that you are Not. Nobody ever feels like they are 100% ready when an opportunity presents itself, because most great opportunities in life force us to go and grow beyond our comfort zones. We won't feel totally comfortable at first, but know that good things are arising and that change is natural and vital. You are Ready, so go with the flow and embrace the change. 

☺ Learn to Live more Simply… It is an on-going mission for me to live more simply. There are new things that I realize I can do or give up all the time. Think of something that you don't need that just complicates the simple beauty of living, and give it up. Maybe it's eating unnatural processed foods. Maybe it's the growing collection of material things. Maybe it's too much time spent in front of a Television. Whatever it is you are comfortable with, start somewhere and make your life simpler. Happiness comes from within our Selves, so if you can learn to live more simply you will grow more in tune with that natural happiness instead of losing it to the unneeded complications of our society. 

☺ "Unexpressed emotion is stored in the muscles of the body" ~Wilhelm Reich. Most of the physical symptoms we experience in our lives--like infections, aches, and pains--are merely symptoms of the emotions and problems we are storing up in our bodies. Learn to deal appropriately with stress and deal with former trauma to release your body from unneeded physical discomfort. Make yourself Happy and your body will respond in the same manner.  

☺ Remember: Every event is a learning experience… whether it's Positive or Negative. Take something from any situation, learn, and grow. 

Have a beautiful day, week, life! Much Love from me to you! 

Create a Nice Day! xo

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