{life reflections} A Slap in the Face: A Reminder of Happiness

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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A Slap in the Face: A Reminder of Happiness

Who is familiar with that moment when a certain realization attempts to slap you across the face? While I've had many moments like this, one in particular struck me again recently. In being honest, this little funk I've been in has been a rather tedious and lingering ordeal, one which I have been struggling with daily. Some days I feel like I must be bipolar: sparking from happiness to anger to tears in a matter of fleeting moments. One couldn't guess when the tempest would strike next. But then, I remember that I am cleansing, and that finally (several years later) all the excess estrogen has been attempting to leave my body after five years of being on the birth control pill. I also remember that the emotional roller coaster has been doing a few maniacal twists as of late--probably to keep me on my feet ;). And so, life simply has its funks and it is best not to beat oneself up over such things. We are, after all, all human, and happiness doesn't always come so easily. 

And then I was slapped across the face. I don't remember how it happened, what prompted it, or why exactly in that moment it sprang up from that inner part of my mind to give me a good talking to, but it did. That slap reminded me that my happiness depends on Me, and Me alone. I am in control of my own life, I am responsible for my own state of mind. Sure, it's not always a cake walk, and sometimes things really test your ability to simply "be positive". I mean really test you. For instance, every time over the past little while that I have had a moment of absolute happy bliss, it seems to be snatched out from under me like some cruel joke. I blame everything outside of myself for that bliss being snatched away from me. Because it's easy to pass the blame, especially when one is struggling with their own inner demons within life. But then there's that slap. That slap that reminds me that I am responsible for my own happiness. In seeing this, I have to remember--and I mean really drill it into my mind again--that I not the circumstances, people, or events around me can take my smile away. Sure, things will test you (and, again, sometimes really test you) but in the end, You are still responsible for allowing these things to ruin your day--and your life. It's a harsh reality at times, especially if we are caught in a state of helplessness within our own deteriorating self-appreciation. It's like one more thing to taunt us, to tell us we're not good enough because we can't Just Be Happy. Oh cruel world! But, when being honest, and if we can really take a step back then we can also realize that this mentality only further traps us into the web of self-helplessness and the "poor me" attitude that spirals so easily out of control. Because we refuse to accept that We are in control--at least, we Can be. 

Again, I'm not saying it's an easy walk in the park. Sometimes it is, most certainly, but other times it really feels like you have to fight tooth and nail to climb back to the top of the happiness ladder. And once we are at the top for a few fleeting moments, sometimes the foundation is still weak and so we topple quite easily down again. And this is another cycle that is so easy to start feeling helpless in, to start beating yourself up for, or cursing life for being so cruel. It's the self-perpetuating cycle of self-rejection, of self-loathing, or lack of self-appreciation. This is why I still hold strong to the belief system that happiness must must must start with You. Once you start feeling Good about YourSelf, then you can start to stabilize your ladder to happiness and the journey, while still bumpy, can be much easier and more manageable. 

Life truly Is a beautiful, wondrous gift, and to see it as a cruel place there to tear us down or laugh at us doesn't serve you. Life is not cruel, only our mentalities towards it are. These mentalities are built over time, burdened by life events and tribulations to solidify the feeling; but all the beauty in life can also serve as your tools to change your perspective. Once the perspective starts its building then the path to happiness can truly be paved. And that path is most easily paved by gratitude: gratitude for the small things, the big things, the people around you, the events around you, the material things, the weather, a roof over your head, anything and everything, but most importantly, gratitude for Your Self.  

So, allow a little slap to cross your face every so often. Let the lessons remind you to have the courage to empower yourself, to remind yourself that You Are Strong enough to overcome anything. Put yourself in control, truly and fully empower yourself and replace any negative thoughts with the words "I Can!". Love Yourself. Encourage yourself. Remind yourself that you Deserve to be happy, that you Deserve Good Things. Healing takes time, but more than that, healing takes Persistence. Do what you must for yourself every single day, by doing this you can move yourself away from the "poor me" helpless mentality and start to write a beautiful life for yourself once more. 

Much Love and all the Happiness in the world to you and your beautiful sparking soul! 

xo

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{life reflections} Being a Woman! + Emotions & Health

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Being a Woman! + Emotions & Health

It's tough being a woman. It's also intensely magical and amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My husband has asked me before, on days where I'm clutching my stomach with cramps of death (of course he waits until they subside before asking) if I would not trade all that to be a man. I wouldn't. It's not because I don't like men or don't find them deeply fascinating as well, it's just that I love being a woman. Being a woman is such an opening experience, as if we can feel more deeply and wildly and enter depths and bonds amongst fellow women that perhaps men don't get to enjoy. I just love the feminine energy. There's something magical about it; like free gypsy souls, empowered goddesses, and/or soulful fairies. 

I saw this meme on Facebook yesterday (see below) and it made me giggle because I've been talking about similar things with other women in my life a lot at the moment to which the image made me relate. For instance, I keep describing myself as trying to "get my fire back", and we as women in general tend to like using these whimsical metaphors to describe our energies and feelings and passions that can't be put so bluntly into "logical terms." Sometimes it's as if women have their own dialogue--and studies have down that in some ways we do because of the way our brains are wired. These are things that if you tried to explain to (most) men, you'd probably get an arched eyebrow and a look to suggest you might have lost your marbles. "You're fire back??" But… women get it. They just get it. You'd only need to half explain yourself and women would just get it. "Ah, yes, your fire back! Of course!"

The experience of being a woman is one I wouldn't trade for anything. Being a woman is fun, and we are strong, compassionate, fiery beings that have so much to offer each other and the world around us. So, I'd take cramps of death any day and still be a woman. 

The truth is that our society is very uncompassionate and detached when it comes to women's health and women's bodies. I realize this more and more as I dive deeper into learning about my own body, about our cycles, hormones, and the emotions that Directly affect our health. And yet we're meant to believe that our health has nothing to do with our emotions. This is another topic that has been reoccurring lately: Emotions and Health--but I'll get to that when I'm done talking about the awesomeness and trials of being a woman. 

Being a woman should actually be a lot easier than it is. Every part of it! But society has suppressed women for centuries. Feminist talk? Absolutely! How about we stop shying away from being "feminists" because every single damn person on this planet should be a feminist! Feminism doesn't mean hating men, it means equality. I also feel that it is much more than that, I feel like it's about getting back in touch with our roots, with each other, and with men as well. Becoming open to Love in all areas of life. Our attitudes towards men has developed into one of tension and separation. Separation is everything to do with feminism (in my opinion) because women have been pitted against one another creating separation amongst our own gender and the opposite gender--leaving us feeling utterly alone for much of our lives. I think it's so eye-opening and important to realize this so that women can stop being so catty towards one another and finally love and support one another instead. You'd have to be pretty blind not to have noticed, or not to have felt, (once you're paying attention) the level of cattiness women have towards one another--feelings of jealousy, envy, and all around bitchiness. It's absolutely mad that women should be this way! But it's absolutely intentional, because it came with the territory of suppressing women all that time ago. What better way than to pit women against one another? Now, feminism has continued because of our society, because of the mentalities of both men And women. We can no longer blame it on the opposite gender, as many men are also feminists, and most women are a part of continued suppression (simply because it's embedded in our society). 

I've been reading Christiane Northrup's book "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdoms" and it is absolutely fascinating and every woman should read it! I bring this book up because reading it is like one long moment of "Wow! That is so accurate! I wish I'd realized this sooner!" However, one bit in there really stuck out to me that I wanted to share: that women are constantly apologizing for their very existence! It is so so true, and on such a deeply embedded subconscious level that it really becomes no surprise women still face such oppression. The mentalities of our society keep women in check; we grow up apologizing for being here, we grow up feeling badly about our bodies, about our appearance, about our periods and hormones, and everything else imaginable. We have a constant feeling of never being good enough. It's no wonder we have PMS, hormone imbalances, health problems and relationship drama. If we are constantly apologizing for our very existence how can we possibly hope to feel love, feel good about ourselves, and thrive and flourish as the fullest awesomest versions of ourselves? 

Back to emotions and health… when women are constantly apologizing for their very existence, then that creates some awful emotions towards our bodies, minds, and souls, and thus, health problems result. The connection is absolutely undeniable (between emotions and health) but it is something never taught in the medical field or in society. This connection makes the issues of PMS and other women-related health problems no surprise at all--because we're practically taught that our bodies are foreign objects that give us pain and bleeding every month and that this is simply something we must accept and deal with. We don't! If we start to fix the way we Feel about our bodies and ourselves then we start to see improvement within our health and all of those PMS syndromes can finally go away. Of course, this is such a deep and complicated issue, which is why I recommend picking up Christiane Northrup's book, because this woman is brilliant and highly educated and I feel as if she could help every single woman on this planet with her information and insights and intellect. 

My husband also picked up this amazing book the other day that has this chart connecting certain body parts to the emotional significance. Going down this chart, we were both blown away by the accuracy. Completely and utterly blown away! I wish someone had made me realize all of this sooner. My health has had it's turbulences forever now, but it makes so much more sense knowing that it all began (and continues) from emotional blocks. I feel much better knowing now that if I want my health to improve then it's time to dive deep emotionally. 

As it happens, I had a large breakthrough a while back, which has only been more and more solidified by all these new insights. I feel very fortunate to know these things now, which is why I felt like rambling about such subjects today. I mean, what amazing things to know and understand that we have not been told about?! The truth is that a lot of my time and thoughts have been taken up on these subjects at the moment (women's issues, emotional trauma and health). But, for today, that's all from me. 

I wish you all the courage in the world to tackle your own emotional blocks and to get your own health to all that it should and deserves to be!  

   

So Much Love from my heart and soul to yours!     

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Wow! What a crazy last several weeks! I feel that my blogging has been severely lacking--and so has my introverted personal time that I so desperately require to recharge, which I have been able to gain this past week with a much deserved couple of days off. The lows and highs of my life are extreme at this time, but I am glad to at least be experiencing both, as the highs make the lows so much more bearable and passable. The truth is, I feel incredibly blessed for my life at the moment, despite the whirlwind around me. Sales have been fantastic, which has been quite a turn from last year's holiday season. It seems at least this area of my life I am feeling the abundance of the Law of Attraction and the welcoming of money once more into my life. Other areas… not so much. But that's okay. Ups and downs are a part of life, and I know that it's just a matter of time before I reach better places in those areas as well, learning and growing from the lessons and moving forward.

My husband is becoming a nutritionist and with all the schooling and homework he's been doing, he's also been feeding me some incredible information. I already considered the both of us extremely healthy, but it's such a vast topic and it seems there is always Something you could be doing better for your health. That being said, I have also learned the importance of balance. Stressing about your health and what you're eating will eliminate all the good you do your body with a healthy diet and exercise. Because stress… well, stress is the devil. Truly truly. This aside, I have been on new supplements, checking up on my health, taking HCL and enzymes and doing a few various helpful cleanses to improve the drop in health I was struggling with the last couple months (thanks to stress from my past which caused food intolerances, hormone imbalance, low stomach acid, and so forth). With cleansing has come those extreme lows and highs with body and mind, but the end result will be fantastic! 

It might not be so bad, but life has a funny way of pouring when it decides to rain, and I know most of you will know the feeling. This end of year has been a very bumpy road, on an emotional and physical level, and it is why there has been a definite lack of new content on the blog due to the need to seek focus and find balance in those aspects of my life. Truth be told, it still amazes me the sorts of spirals life can dish out all at once. I had a health scare when I received an abnormal pap test back with possible low squamous cells--I had to book a special appointment with a specialist an hour away to find out for sure. I just received the news two days ago that everything is clear, whatever they had thought might be there isn't. What a relief! But, again, a bumpy ride: it was a reminder of the IUD experience I had two years ago, which, as it turns out, was actually quite a traumatic event for me which, this new year, I will be seeking out some resources to get past. Too personal? I feel like I share a lot of myself on here, and so, I like to share experiences as well. The whole experience was actually another reminder to myself to get my hormones back in balance and to really focus on my relationships and body that need healing due to that feminine energy. Women's health is a topic that I feel is so important, being a woman in a vastly uneducated society when it comes to women's health, and so this new year I intend to spread more information on these topics, because it is so important and I really wish more women knew about their bodies and the beauty that comes from within. 

That being said, the emotional roller coaster is forever moving. At first, I wondered if I was the only one going bonkers, but then I noticed more and more people around me going through extreme highs and lows. Of course, the obvious answer to me is the holiday season. If you have a dysfunctional family then attention tends to be drawn to it at this time of year--especially if your parents are divorced and your family is split. But I feel perhaps it's more than that, a cleansing, perhaps, before the new year; drawing out unresolved issues to move forwards into more evolved and whole, loving beings. At least, that's what I'm seeking to gain from it all. 

What an end of year! I can't say it enough, my mind is still in tangles of this web. Christmas day was… a fail in my books. I feel like there is so much pressure on this one day of the year. For me, it's often a reminder of the dysfunctionality and brokenness of my family. I don't expect a perfect family anymore, it's been a very long time since I have expected this, but somehow, still, when the holiday season comes around it's a sharp reminder which, this year, was a bit more of a struggle. Maybe with too much other issues piling up (ones more personal I choose to omit instead of sharing all the private and inner workings of my life and relationships) it just became a bit much and I honestly just wanted the holidays to be over with. To top it all off, I spent three hours at the hospital last night after my husband got into a skateboarding accident. See? When it rains it pours. All things considered, he had the best possible outcome, but will be needing lots of love and care for a recovery that looks like it will be speedy--thank goodness! 

Okay, so having said all that, I'm not sharing any of this from some tragic stand point, merely from an observing point. The truth is, despite the ups and downs, generally, overall, I feel quite spectacular. And I intend to feed the good vibes with more good vibes. Gratitude is so important and it has been my largest focus through it all--that and focussing on the positive, always and foremost. I look to this New Year with so much hope and joy. A fresh start! That's always what a new year feels like, but unless you set your foot down and make it happen then nothing will change. I will be making changes where they are needed: focussing on health, seeking out resolution in unresolved past issues and relationships, and making more awesomeness happen. Truly, I feel like 2014 is going to be an amazing year for everyone. A year of enlightenment, love, joy, health, wealth, and abundance in all areas of life. Our New Year even starts on a New Moon, which is a period to clean the slate, set intentions, and start anew. It's been 19 years since the last New Moon on a New Year! 

Hope. Hope is alive in all of us. Hope is the fire that burns through our souls and allows us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It makes me sad when people can lose that fire, and lose sight of that light that is almost within their reach. If nothing else, I just want to remind you all, that everything is going to be Okay, and the light is always there for you. Keep hope alive. Because goodness is there waiting for you, I promise! 

Here's to the happiest of New Years and a wonderful new chapter for each our beautiful, amazing lives! 

   

So Much Love from my heart and soul to yours!     

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☺ It's Okay Not to Be Okay ☺

Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. 

Moving on doesn't take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self. 

It's Okay not to Be Okay! This is such a vital lesson on the route to healing, and yet, I feel as if it is often overlooked or not addressed deeply enough. 

It's easy to feel discouraged when you experience the downward spiral. It's easy to forget about all the progress you've made when you are trapped in one of those circles of melancholy. It's natural. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about not being okay--which is something we all too often do. 

The mentality comes from this: you've made all this progress, have had days that feel good, have been working on yourself tirelessly, trying really hard, feeling like you're getting better, and putting in all this effort. But then… it all spirals due to one event or just a bad reoccurring cycle. Because all of a sudden we feel badly, we feel as if something is wrong, that we're not doing it right, that we shouldn't feel this way because, well, look at all the hard work you've been doing! It doesn't seem fair. It doesn't seem right. You feel hopelessly at a loss and as if the world is against you. And you feel as if all that progress, all that hope, was all imaginary and that you are a lost cause and that you'll be this way forever…  

Sound familiar?

Chances are that it does. But, fret not! You are not alone! Not only are you not alone, but you are also still within the great reaches of love and help and happiness. Happiness IS still attainable. This too shall pass. 

I address this issue because I feel as if it is one of the often missed, but greatly deeply important, topics that are not spoken of enough. And I am guilty of this here at ReLove Plan.et: always focussing on the positive, smiling, telling you all to be happy. 

It gets really annoying when you're having a rough patch and everyone around you just keeps telling you to smile and "just be happy." As if it's that easy. As if there is something even more wrong with you if you cannot "just be happy." As if you can plaster a smile on your face and everything will be okay again. 

Sometimes this does work. Sometimes, it really doesn't. But when it doesn't: it's okay not to be okay. 

Some days are not that easy. Some periods of our lives are just not that easy. And that's okay! It's OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY! 

I really want this to settle into your deepest darkest thoughts, because it is comforting to know that this is okay; that you don't have to be smiling all the time, that you shouldn't feel good all the time. Life is about ups and downs. We all fall down, but it's whether or not we climb back up; or whether we allow ourselves to get so discouraged that we give up on climbing back up. I don't want you to give up, because you really have made so much progress, despite what the negative voices in your head may tell you. Every step is vital and important and has a deep impact upon your mind and well-being; even if those steps may feel insignificant at the time. Never forget the importance of every little step. Truly truly. 

I want you to know that there is Nothing Wrong with You!   

I want to share a little story of what brought me to this topic today, because I think it will inspire you--or at least that's my hope; to make you realize that you are not at all alone.

I was in the middle of one of my own downward spirals (I'm human, you know), and it was getting to the point where I was feeling really terribly frustrated. I was at the point of beating myself up over not being able to get out of this spiral, of dwelling in the negative emotions of helplessness and feeling as if I was simply a lost cause. I still tried; I continued to surround myself with as much positivity and inspiration as possible, but it just wasn't helping. 

Now, I know why: because I was still beating myself up so badly over not feeling okay that it simply wasn't plausible for me to climb back up at that time. The thought of negativity towards myself, of feeling like I was unfixable, and that my entire life was going to contain these awful spirals of depression, was just too much for my happy mind to pull me out of. Even while I was trying; because negativity was still winning the day and I wasn't resolving or addressing that problem. 

I remember along this spiral, my marriage was struggling: because I felt like I was always the problem. I was the one screwing up; I was the one always struggling; I was the one who was always moody and stressed and depressed. And, somehow, my husband was just okay and fine, and just plain peachy through it all. I felt like a burden. And it bothered me that he seemed so okay. Why was I the one that was so messed up? It's terrible, but it really really bothered me how happy he seemed to be. Funny how that works? 

Two things later came into play here. 

One: my husband was still human, and despite seeming outwardly okay, he was still struggling with this own demons as every person does. So my jealousy and envy were misplaced from the start, all because I was so wrapped up in my own depressive state that I was magnifying this illusion that everyone else was okay, and I was the only one who was a problem. Classic "poor me" syndrome that makes climbing back to happiness all the more difficult. 

Two: I had the realization that the way I was viewing my husband was the way that my readers might view me. And I didn't want that. The irony was that I always do my best to show everyone my smiling self, my positive self, so that no one would even guess that I still struggled beneath the surface. I felt as if I could Only show the happy me, because to show any other side might discourage you into thinking you might not be happy. But I have come to realize the importance and value of the ups and downs in our lives and that everyone should know that everyone is human and that we all experience such highs and lows. And that's okay! 

To be clear: the happy smiling me isn't fake. But, was I always okay? No. I focussed on the positive and smile as often as I can, and writing all the content of my blog makes me genuinely happy. When I write on the blog, it IS the happy, positive self that I love. It's not fake. But! That's not me all the time. And I think that it's equally important for people to know that, because, well: It's Okay Not to Be Okay! When I realized what I might be doing to the people I want to help by always showing the happy me, I realized that, perhaps, that illusion would become frustrating and garner the same feelings of being "unfixable." I don't want that for you. At all! I want to continue to give you help, advice, and lessons that will help your journey; and this is one of those important lessons. That it's okay and normal to be Human, and you can still move forward and be happy when the spiral ends. 

Life is still rainbows and sunshine, and I am still smiling and happy most of the time. But storms still blow in. Such is life. And sometimes I get stuck in those storms, sailing in circles, until I can find my way again. And sometimes the ship falls apart altogether and I'm left to pick up the pieces, build a stronger boat, and sail back out into the sunshine where I will be better prepared, and sturdier, for the next storm. That is life! The downward slopes are there to teach us, they truly really truly are! We do have a choice what we do with our melancholy, and, so, no matter how Not Okay you may feel, you Can feel Okay again! Just keep up the good fight and know that you are not alone.

These are the things to remember:

You are Human! And it is Normal to feel angry, sad, happy, and all the ups and downs in between. No one should ever make you feel badly for being human. Ever! That is not the sort of support you need or deserve. You are Human! It is okay to feel fan-freakin-tastic! And it's okay to not feel okay too! 

Drop the Guilt! The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about not being okay.

This Too Shall Pass. When things are bad, no matter how bad, remember that it Will Pass. Find comfort in that. But, just as importantly, when things are great, remember that it too shall pass; so take the time to appreciate and be grateful when things are great. 

My big problem was that I was so attached to how amazing my life was one summer, when it felt like I was walking on clouds, that I became jaded by it. It was such a state of bliss that when I lost it, I struggled rather badly to get happy again because I was so attached to that state of bliss that nothing else satisfied me. This is why it's equally important to let go of the good as much as the bad. Let life flow and then you will allow the richness to enter your life! 

Look at all the progress you've made! No matter how rough things are, no matter how helpless and unfixable you feel, just stop and look back at where you were however long ago when you started this journey. 

For example; even when I feel down and depressed again, I can stop and look back to where I started: I used to cut myself and I used to have suicidal thoughts daily. I don't have those anymore. So, no matter how down you may feel, even it's small progress, look back and smile and be fuckin proud of where you are now and that you are trying at all! 

Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Especially when we have been depressed for years, our serotonin, endorphins, and all the stuff that makes our brains pump out happy thoughts are depleted. It takes time to build that back up again. It takes time to effortlessly feel happy. We are rewiring our brains, re-training it to be happy and to feel good on its own. So…

Work on Yourself! Take the time to work on yourself. It may seem tedious sometimes. Some days you may just not really "feel like" putting forth the effort to smile and be happy. So have a day to be down. But, don't get trapped in the negative mindset, because it's easy to just give up and not try. Do try. I promise you, every book or article you read, every inspirational movie you watch, every lover letter you write yourself, every entry into your Happy Diary, every practice of gratitude, is absolutely 100% worth your time and effort. Because you Will feel good! And every day will get easier, even when the chart of your life may go up and down, it is still heading in an upward slope.

Just do your Best! Take it one Step at a time and never get discouraged! When you're experiencing one of those spirals, just remember to start with one small positive thought in the morning. Just start there; it can set the tone for your entire day. Even if that is the only positive part of your day, you placed yourself into a position of control over your mood and happiness. And every step counts towards the bigger picture, remember? So, Just do your Best! 

Remember how far you've come, no matter how far the road ahead may feel. Every step counts. Every smile counts. Every moment that you feel Good counts. All these little steps are deeply meaningful, so keep these with you, no matter how dark life can feel, and no matter how many downs you experience along your bumpy road. Remember that it's always worth it, and that every struggle is bringing you closer towards effortless happiness. It's always worth it. 

You are human, and you are so amazingly wonderful! Hold onto that! It gets better! I promise that it does! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

I feel as if I've been talking a lot lately about the roller coaster of life; the ups and downs that can feel so extreme and so sporadic, as if the little gentle stream of life has now turned into a gushing tumbling river, plunging under and popping us high high back to the top. Maybe there's something in the air, it just seems like a lot of people I know, and myself included, have been experiencing much higher turbulence than usual. I would also like to think this has something to do with the shift of awakening within so many of us--so many people "waking up." It is a double-sided blessing: when we work on ourselves we allow ourselves to experience and draw out issues and problems that may have been rather deeply buried, therefore things may feel worse before they get better because we need to work through those issues before we can move forwards to the space of walking on rainbows while it sprinkles gumdrops. 

Ah life. It truly truly truly is a beautiful thing, it's just such a shame that we've been conditioned to believe that life is suffering, that life is hard work, that life sucks. Think about how many brain patterns we have formed during our upbringing to make us feel badly about ourselves, to make us feel that life is no fun, to make us believe that materialism and money are the only forms of happiness, to make us believe that our happiness depends on things outside of ourselves, and to make us believe that happiness is a farfetched myth that we could never achieve. 

When things get tough I think it's important to reflect on how far you've come. See, sometimes it may feel as if we haven't changed, as if we haven't gotten any happier in our lives, but this is when it's good to look back at where you were when you started. For me, I used to cut, I had plenty of suicidal thoughts, and being sad was just a daily part of my life. If I look at my life now, even when I have bad days, or moments of frustration where I don't feel as if I've gotten anywhere, it's pretty easy to see that I have. I no longer cut, I am no longer "depressed," I just have moments of relapse and real human emotions. Feeling bad, sad, down, frustrated, and so forth, aren't signs that you haven't gotten anywhere or that you're not, at the core of you, happy, it's just a reminder that we are all still human and we all still feel. Feeling is great, it's just our attachment to not letting go of negative emotions that is a problem. That, and that our minds tend to over-think things and create problems that aren't even there. We are all human, we are allowed to feel, we should feel. Ups and downs are a part of life, our holding onto the ups and downs are the part that we need to adjust so that the flow of life is much smoother and enjoyable. Let emotions flow and then let them go. 

Whenever in doubt, just think about how far you've come. Remind yourself that you're human and that life will always have ups and downs. Learn to enjoy the ride. Make the most of every situation and of ever circumstance or opportunity. Try to think positive, try to work on yourself. And don't beat yourself up along the way. Just do your best! And remember to smile. ;) 

I want to talk about two things this week in greater depths: the emotional guidance system; and first steps to working through depression. Two topics that I've been thinking a lot about lately that I have a lot I'd like to say and share. 

Our life experiences are gifts that we can share with others and that goodness has the domino effect of spreading to others. It's truly a wonderful thing. If you've learned something about life that makes things easier than share it with friends and family or a stranger. Spread the goodness because if it works for them then they too will pass on that knowledge to those around them. If people don't take your advice then at least you tried, no harm done. 

Keep smiling, trying, and loving life. And remember; JUST DO YOUR BEST! 

^_^ Much Love! 

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{life reflections} ~ when life knocks you down ~

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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This week has been filled with more tears and anxiety than I've felt in a long while. Boo hoo. Don't worry, I'm not going to write some miserable self-pitying post. I'm not that kind of person. I just wanted to share this with you to let you know that, despite all the positive tips and information I share on this blog, I too am human. Shocker I know. The truth is that I was indeed depressed for a good five years of my life and that takes some time to climb out of. There's a lot of old brain habits that need fixing and relearning. For the most part I am blissfully happy. For the most part I can easily pull myself out of a funk. But sometimes life throws curve balls, and those curve balls can right knock us on our asses and leave us in the dirt. But the funny thing about it is that when we fall down it's because life is trying to show us something. When we fall, it's because there is something we're meant to find down there. I truly believe and know this to be true. Again, you can find the positive in any situation, so why not do so? We wouldn't fall so hard either if there wasn't something still in our minds that we hadn't yet resolved. Sometimes we think we've got it all figured out, or at least mostly; we think we've settled our demons and moved forwards. Sometimes we have. Sometimes it may surprise us to learn that we haven't quite yet. This was my case this week. As it is with most people, there were some issues that I hadn't yet resolved. 

For some reason, perhaps through old habits, I have the suborn tendency to shut myself off, especially from my husband who is closest to me. Don't do this. I will tell you up front to never push people away or block yourself off, because it simply does more damage than good. I know this. I learned this the hard way. I still struggle with it--again, those old brain habits that like to make doing the right thing more difficult sometimes. But talking helps. I know that the Law of Attraction teaches us that the more we talk about our problems then the more we manifest them. While this is true, you also have to learn a balance. If you don't first talk about your problems then they will never get resolved, and if they never get resolved then you will not be able to move forward and use the Law of Attraction to attract positive things anyway. So talk. Talk, talk, talk. Through talking we have realizations--it helps to talk out loud because it gets our thoughts running and can help us realize many helpful things to move forwards. Again, though, learn balance. If you are constantly depressed and need someone to talk to then it is great to have a family member or friend to confide in, but realize that some things are best left to talk to a professional, because otherwise your relationship may become more about the negative than the positive and you don't want that either. I can't say enough about how much a councillor can help you. Seek one out. Talk their ear off. They have words of wisdom for you and they will help you learn about yourself and How to let go of your past. They are wonderful people who can help you, so don't overlook them. If you don't find a councillor you like at the first go of it, then find another one. Find one that you are compatible with and comfortable with. It helps. Trust me, because I've been there and mine helped me make one of the biggest leaps in my recovery. 

So, talk. When you get your thoughts out there you can reach some conclusions. Sit down with yourself as well and write out your thoughts. I always say writing is an amazing practice because it truly allows your thoughts to free flow, and when our thoughts free flow so do the realizations. I know, I'm being a bit repetitive, but bottling things up is counter-productive, don't just sweep your problems under a rug. You may be very good at keeping those problems safely concealed beneath that rug, but eventually the mess will come spilling out into your life and it may not be pretty when it all comes rushing out all at once as these things tend to do. When a problem arises, work through it. Make yourself reach some sort of positive conclusion and outlook that allows you to move forward. Chances are, it may resurface down the road. Again, these things can take time. Be patient, and realize that this too shall pass. At the end of the day, your attitude still counts for everything and you still always have a choice to be happy again. 

[photo credit: mcshredalot]

For myself? There are a few issues I am currently working on, and I plan to work through them every day until I feel better instead of sweeping them back under the rug. I plan to write down a new way of thinking to embed it into my mind until I can come to peace with certain things. Because I know it works and I know that I can heal as I have already done so much of. I plan to push myself into that unreasonable happy state by practicing all the lessons I've learned and generally focussing on that Positive Mental Attitude, reminding myself of Who I Am, and repeating every day that life is beautiful and full of happiness. 

It has also pushed me to finally finish that "Happiness Guide" that I've been working on and the "Happiness Bootcamp" zine, because what better time than to be able to practice it on myself as a guinea pig? ;) 

I wish you all a blissful weekend and all the love and happiness in the world. Remember that we all fall, we can all be vulnerable, but we all within us contain the remarkable ability to heal, to move forwards, and to smile in the face of anything. 

Much Love! 

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☆ The Strongest Full Moon of 2013 ☆

The strongest, most intense full moon of 2013 is tonight!

We all know how full moons can make us restless and crazy, right? Well this one will be a big one. We watched it last night and it was enormous! Full moons are transitional phases, especially in this lovely spring energy. So what does this moon mean? Well, it's time to clean up your life! 

The Libra Full Moon brings forth powerful life-changes and awareness, and a reminder to practice conscious awareness in our lives. It is a time when we need to surrender and keep in mind that change is our friend so not to resist it. 

Expect some emotional power struggles, and an awareness to the people around you. You may have noticed a lot of relationships falling apart and/or rebuilding recently (I know I have), it's all part of this spring cleaning, of moving into a better space in your life. Again, it's important not to resist and to be honest and open with yourself and your heart. Remember that the mind can complicate things. Chances are life is giving you a nudge, removing people from your life that are not serving you in a positive way or are restricting your personal growth. Trust life, know that everything happens for a reason and that, if you let it, it will help you out and guide you in the right direction. Pay attention so that you can cleanse and remove these negative people from your life, and so that it can make room for new relationships to emerge. We are moving from breakdown to breakthrough in this moon phase. 

“Remember that, these planets only take that which is obsolete. They will not take what you need for your personal evolution.  In fact, the main purpose of the Libra Full Moon and the Sun/Pluto transit is to empower you. So that you are ready to receive the positive creative changes that can take place now.”

Full moons are wonderful, enlightening experiences, so treat them as such. Since the full moons are active for four days before and after, make this a full moon week to work on yourself. Take some time to prepare yourself, to work on yourself and your life, and to do some personal spring cleaning. 

Work through any of those situations or areas of your life that need healing, things that still have not been addressed and have been left open. Get into a good creative "Self" space as well. Take some time to do yoga (under the moonlight would be even better!), rest lots and get some good sleep, pamper yourself with a bubble bath, meditate in a sacred space, finish up that spring cleaning in your home by clearing out any unused junk, and spend some time being creative with art or music. Dance around and enjoy being You. Be creative, be relaxed, and find your inner peace. Take care of your mind, body, and soul. 

And if you can, find an outdoor space, away from city lights, where you can truly enjoy the light and beauty of the full moon--it will do you good. 

This is a good time for self-reflection, to release self-limiting beliefs, negative thought patterns and attitudes, and to get yourself back on track to a happy life. Remember that your attitude shapes everything else around you. Come from a place of love and not fear. Release and let go. 

So, what do you want to create? Take charge of your mind and life.

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☺ Buddha and the Angry Man ☺

“One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him.

“You have no right teaching others,” he shouted. “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.”

Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”

The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”

The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.

“If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy.”

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☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

☺ How are you feeling? Pay attention to how you are feeling, this will always be a good indicator about what you are Thinking, and therefor about what you are attracting into your life. If you look inward and notice that you are not feeling so great then work on switching your mood, do whatever it takes to make yourself Feel Good, and then you'll watch your day and life change. :)

☺ Acknowledge that you are Amazing! We all need to spend more time acknowledging that we are amazing. Because we are. And when we live in a society that tries to tear down at our self-esteem on a daily basis, it's important to counter that with thoughts of love. You are amazing, we are all amazing. Give yourself and others compliments. ♥

☺ Make Friends! When you encounter a stranger, stop thinking of them as a stranger, but as another soul for you to befriend, learn from, and connect with. 

☺ Love More, Judge Less. Judging is terrible, I wrote an article about it before that is worth reading or a re-read. When we judge others it's really just a reflection of our own insecurities, so it's a good thing to pay attention to; you'll learn something about yourself. Ask, why do you feel the need to judge this person? What problem do you have with yourself and/or your life that is causing you to do this? Love is the best and only answer to a positive life. If you want to be happy then start by expressing more love and quitting the bad habit of judging others. 

☺ Remember remember the 5th of November… and watch "V for Vendetta" cuz it's a hella awesome movie, and because it's always a good nudge in the brain cells to stick up for our rights and responsibilities to action as people instead of allowing our governments to corrupt and control everything. ;) 

☺ Stop worrying about the Future! Truth is, nobody ever really knows what the future holds. How many times have you envisioned and worried about something that had not happened yet? How many times did things actually go the way you worried about? Sometimes yes, because the Law of Attraction picks up on those negative thoughts, but on the flip side, life can be unpredictable and we can never truly know what is actually going to happen. Remember that everything happens for a reason, so there's no point in fretting over things. We can't predict the future and it's a waste of your energy to get stressed about it. Go with the flow and enjoy the ride, accept whatever life hands you and make the best of it. And stay in the moment, the Now. ;)

☺ "Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right." ~ Henry Ford.   

Now go ahead and have the best damn week ever! Much Love from me to you! 

Create a Nice Day! xo

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☺ Bianca's "Recovery" Tips to Happiness ☺

One day I had hoped to write a mini auto-biography of all the things I went through in my life. I wanted my story to be an example to others to show that it doesn't matter what has happened in your life, you can always make a recovery and be Happy. But, I started to write this story, and it just made me sad. It wasn't the inspiring story that I felt that I would be writing. Understandably, I don't like dwelling on the past. It's not that I want to just forget it ever happened, but I no longer dwell on it and focus on the negatives. I am so incredibly grateful for everything that has happened to me, it all made me who I am today and I love love love who I am today. I am very very grateful for my past and that was a huge step in recovering to happiness. 

I didn't always feel this way about my past, not by a long shot. I will never write an autobiography. There is no point in retelling another depressing story. That doesn't make others feel good. I understand that it's inspiring to know that anyone can be happy, but I see the people who read all these depressing life stories because it's "inspiring" to hear other people's hard lives and know that they recovered, and those people are not happy people. If you spend so much of your time reading about other people's sad lives then it's not exactly going to fill you with a sense of happiness. Hope, maybe. But hope is nothing if you don't make changes in your life and shift your attention onto the positive. This is why I will never write an autobiography. 

I will however tell you this, to give you an understanding of where I came from, who I was then, and who I am now. 

I was depressed for years, suicidal, and used some negative outlets to "cope," again, the details and reasons to that depression I'm not diving into. I wallowed in that depression for years. I just didn't have the motivation to pick myself out of it and I didn't have the resources or inspiration to push me out either. This is why I write this blog, this is why I try to reach as many people as possible, to help others feel inspired and take that first step to better their lives. 

I also hated my body, I hated everything about myself. I thought no one liked me, I had no friends, I had no self-worth. My life was a miserable mess. 

*big deep breath*

Finally, I got my first push. At first they were little whispers of songs or words I'd hear, but eventually the charge to change became more burning inside of me and I finally really took the steps to better myself and my life. I took charge to Be Happy. The climb was a bit slow, I think it is for many of us when we don't really know what we're doing, we just know that we Want to feel better. 

My journey towards happiness would have been much faster and smoother if I'd had a blog to read like this, if I'd sought out positive sources sooner and if I'd one all the things I'm about to mention sooner.

Today, I love myself. I love my life. I am the happiest, most optimistic, positive little butterfly you'll ever encounter. Life still has ups and downs, life always will, but when the downs come along I know how to roll with them, to use them, to learn something from, and get back on that upbeat happy path. 

This post is to share with you some of the things that really helped me on my path--things that I wish I'd found sooner. All of the following points I am going to go over were essential and absolutely necessary on my healing path, which is why I am sharing them with you. 

Okay, so without further ado, Bianca's "Recovery" Resources…  

Books, Movies, and Reads: 

Books keep our minds fresh and I recommend reading often. A lot of the information you'll read in "self-help" type books will be similar, just told in different ways. Read them all. Hearing something over and over again is Good--when this information is positive and helpful-- because it will engrave new ideas into your head and create new brain patterns and habits. Changing your attitude and life takes time and repetition of these new concepts. So surround yourself with positive helpful information. 

"Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. This book Changed my life in every way possible. It was the book that made the light go on. The book that changed everything. The book that taught me all of my valuable lessons to improve my life and my attitude. 

"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I only read this book about a year ago, but I think it would have been very useful early on! The Law of Attraction is everything and it has definitely given me that final boost in all aspects of my life. It is a Must read! 

"The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. Fantastic! A simple quick and fun read that teaches you the principles of Taoism through Winnie the Pooh characters. What's not to love? Again, very useful in teaching you the best ways to live life, to use whatever comes your way, and to have the right attitude. 

"The Te of Piglet" a sort of "sequel" but with different valuable information. 

"The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. This was actually the first "spiritual" "self-improvement" book that I read. It's a fantastic read and very useful in understanding energies, human behaviours and patterns. There is a three-book series, but this was the most valuable one to me. 

Here are a couple other wonderful books that I've read that I found useful that weren't necessarily the ones that "changed my life" but certainly fantastic reads that helped along the way:

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle 

"Friendship with God" by Neale Donald Walsch

"What the Bleep do we know?" This movie is fantastic, amazing, and, again, one of those essential must-watch items. It teaches us why we do certain things, behave certain ways, and fall back into old habits. The more we know the more we can have an understanding of ourselves and therefor change ourselves. Watch it immediately! 

Aside from these, I surround my life with other positive reads, like lots of positive blog posts (which is why I write this blog!), positive phrases and quotes. My Facebook, tumblr, and Pinterest are Filled to the brim with positivity, I make sure I'm around it all the time and widdle away any negatives that remain. 

Changed my Diet: Cutting out foods I was allergic to, processed foods, refined sugars (this is a Huge one!), and general foods that make you feel "blah." This is essential and so many people miss this step! If you want to feel good, if you want your brain to heal, then give it energy and food it can actually use! 

Exercise! I tried a few times but never really gave exercise a chance because I didn't feel like it helped. However, when my life took it's biggest boosts in overall happiness, I also started to exercise regularly. Almost every day for half an hour. But any kind of regular exercise will help. I promise. 

Affirmations! I wrote down practically every single day (and still do) what I wanted in life, what I was grateful for, why I loved myself, and why I loved life. I didn't even know about the Law of Attraction at the time, but this practice helps tremendously! It is Essential! It's a daily refresher for your brain, and part of changing your life to being Happy and recovering is to break on brain habits and form new ones. Writing is the key to changing those brain patterns. 

Councillor Sessions. If I had never gone to a councillor I am quite convinced that I would not be where I am today. My problems, like most, were deep routed from past experiences and traumas. In order for me to get through those I had to see this councillor. I did what was called an "EMDR" session which allowed me to revisit my past and gain a better understanding and peace of mind over things that happened. I was able to let it go. I highly recommend seeing a councillor and, if you can, getting an EMDR session done. I felt like I was walking on clouds after that session, no joke! 

Took 5-HTP. My endorphins were low due to years of being depressed. It happens to anyone who's depressed. I absolutely 100% disagree with medical anti-depressants. However, I do believe in natural remedies that can help you out. Things like 5-HTP and St John's Wort are amazing for bringing your endorphin levels back to a healthy level. I took 5-HTP for several years (apparently you're not supposed to take it for quite that long *oops*) and eventually, when I was ready, weened myself off. It was one of those things that I kind of felt didn't help because it was very subtle, but whenever I'd stop taking them all of a sudden I would become so easily overwhelmed and stressed out. So, remember, sometimes things may seem subtle, but they actually do help tremendously. St John's Wort I also took a few times but generally couldn't because it interferes with birth control pills. 

Getting off Birth Control Pills. This was another one of those things that was essential to my healing. I don't care what anyone says, putting unnatural hormones into your body can Not be healthy for you. It messes up with your body's natural ability to do anything. They made me crazy. I tried so many different ones too. At first I didn't think they affected me negatively, but I was already depressed and emotional, so how was I supposed to tell? Going off them was one of the best steps I took. My hormones are still trying to mellow out, even after 4 years, but even so I feel tremendously better and aligned with myself.  

Positive Environment: Spending too much time with the wrong people is incredibly damaging. I had to remove certain people from my life, limit contact with others, and try to surround myself with positive like-minded people. People change, friends change, family changes. Adapt and make your world positive. You don't have to be mean, you just have to do what's right for you and beneficial to your healing environment. I had some amazing people around me that were huge sources of inspiration so I highly recommend spending as much time as possible with these people who really benefit you. 

Picking up a Positive Mental Attitude: Picking up the attitude of being Positive in the face of anything and everything seriously helped with all the bumps that came along. But I wasn't able to fully pick up this attitude until I did all of the points above. Do your best, it gets easier and more natural the longer you have this attitude. 

These are the biggest most important changes I made in my life. Like I already said, these were all essential to my healing. And now I can look back and be so grateful for my past, my present, and anything that comes my way. All the inspirational posts I write on this blog are part of that learning and healing process that I took, the lessons that were very valuable and healing in my recovery. I write this blog to pass on those lessons to you, to help you on your own path, and to inspire you to make positive changes. 

Remember to never get discouraged, to always stay hopeful, to do your best, and try to smile and focus on good things every single day. Work on your self every single day. Every day gets easier. Even if you experience the downs among the ups, you are still generally heading on a path upward, even if it can feel pretty rough sometimes. You are trying and you are working on your self, which means you're ahead from doing nothing. 

I hope this helps you! Know that I love you all very very much! 

Create a Nice Day! xo

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