☺ How to have a Kick-Ass Valentine's Day! ☺

Okay, so there are so many mixed feelings about this holiday. So here is my guide to have a kick-ass Valentine's Day no matter who you are. ;)

Ditch the Jealousy and Envy:

Hate Valentine's Day? Well that sucks for you. Hate, jealousy, envy, all these negative emotions do not serve you in the slightest. If you find yourself hating on couples on Valentine's Day it's coming from a place of jealousy and envy. Jealousy and envy are dangerous emotions because it focusses our attention on what we Don't have. The more we focus on our Lack of Things the more we will experience that Lack. This is simple Law of Attraction (Law of the Universe) stuff. Instead, if you Want that perfect relationship but don't have it yet, today is the Perfect day to watch other couples not with envy but with inspiration. If you see a happy couple then look at them and smile and say to yourself "I have that." The more you focus your attention on what you Do want the closer you will get to receiving that. So ditch the poor-me card and feel inspired instead. 

Ditch the Lonely Feeling:

If you're feeling lonely then that is another issue that is perfect for you to work on today. Why? Because if you're feeling lonely then you clearly don't appreciate yourself enough to simply enjoy your own company. Loving yourself, as I say over and over again on this blog, is one of the most important things that you can do for yourself and your happiness. If you can't be happy alone then you can't be happy With someone either. Focus on being happy and satisfied with yourself first. So, if you're feeling lonely, take that time to truly appreciate and enjoy yourself instead of playing another variation of the "poor-me" card.  

Date Night! 

If you are celebrating Valentine's Day with a Date today then there are a few things to do right. 

Release Expectations. Expectations can be our biggest downfall, so be weary. Guys don't always tend to be the most romantically inspired, but that doesn't meant they don't love or appreciate you. If your significant-other does Anything nice for you then appreciate it, no matter how big or small. They may not give you a marching band and fireworks but allow them to show their appreciation in their own way. And remember that materialism is not a gauge on how much someone loves you. ;) 

Read more on my Valentine's Edition blog post here (so I'm not repeating myself ~_^).  

Make Someone's Day!

There are so many lonely and miserable people on this day, and the thought of that makes me sad. I want you to do something about that today! Take some time out of your day to make someone feel appreciated. Not only will it cheer them up and fill them up with a feeling of love, but it will also make you feel better. Win win. There is plenty of love to go around, so do your best to reach out to others and brighten their day. 

Enjoy Yourself

Above all else, today is a day that you should take the time to truly appreciate Your Self. I know, I already dabbled in that, but I am going to take a moment to elaborate and nail it into your head a little bit further. Self Love is soooooo important and far too often overlooked. If you can't Love Yourself, how can you expect to love anyone or anything outside yourself? Love must start from within yourself. 

But how does one work on self love? Every morning without fail, repeat positive affirmations to yourself about how much you love yourself. These affirmations should include things you like about yourself, things you're thriving to become. For instance, if you're shy and want to be more outgoing then you should include an affirmation saying "I Am Outgoing!" Repeat these every morning when you first get up. Before you go to bed at night, repeat them again. Take this practice one step further and write yourself a love letter filled with all the things you love about yourself. Fill an entire page! If you can't, try harder. Lastly, remember that you Are Awesome, only your Attitude towards yourself might not be. 

Remember that You Are Loved!

Whether you have a date or not, remember that you are loved. There are so many people in your life, around you, and potentially coming into your life that appreciate and adore you so never forget that. Let go of negativities and focus on true Love, for yourself and others. 

I Love Love Love you all! I hope you have a super blissful and lovely day and make the most of whatever situation you're in! 

Much Love from me to You! Keep Smiling, Dreaming, and stay Inspired and Positive! 

*smooches* 

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☺ Valentines Edition; Part Two: Loving Yourself! ☺

Okay, so now that I've covered some of the Relationship bumps in Part One of my Valentine's Edition, moving on to the second reason that I say screw-it to Valentine's Day…

First I'll say, no, I'm not some lonely girl moping around hating on Love (although you probably know this by now unless you are new here). I am happily married with an amazing husband. In fact, I promote love in all forms at any chance I get. So why am I writing about this anti-Valentine's day stuff? Short answer; because it does not promote real Love. There are several negative mentalities this day entails and crams into people's minds, and it's also just another silly holiday that tells you how to act and think (buy things! Conform damn you! Conform!). 

You cannot buy love, yet what Valentine's Day suggests is, not only that you can, but that you should. It also gauges your self-worth in a few ways; that you are a bad date if you don't buy presents for each other, or that you are worthless if no one buys you a present or sends you a Valentine's Day card. It also makes you feel (falsely) good or, more commonly, bad about yourself depending on how many cards or flowers you get, and whether or not you have a date. Suddenly our worth becomes based on the attention (I say attention because it is certainly not love) coming in from other people, instead of actual values, morals, and your own Self. Suddenly Love is measured by material objects and the false pretence of others--instead of where Love actually comes from; the Self. Hopefully you can see how incredibly self-destructive all of this is, how it does not actually promote Love, and how incredibly silly it all is at the end of it all. 

Sadly, most of us have been there at least once in our lives when we were a lonely teenager feeling sorry for ourselves come Valentine's Day and we didn't have a date. Hopefully you can realize that this is not a healthy mentality to have, and unfortunately too many of us have it. And what usually starts in school often carries on into adulthood, planting those negative seeds early to allow them to stick for longer. Why do we do this to ourselves? Set ourselves up for disappointment like that? Get our hopes all high and allow ourselves to be disappointed if we don't magically have a date on one day of the year? It makes no sense in reality. And so many people end up settling for some crappy date just so they are not alone. Or send flowers to yourself (which is actually not a bad thing, but I'll get to that later) in attempt to make it seem as if someone else did. 

So, entering Valentine's Day survival mode… it doesn't have to be a negative day at all, let's get on with some Real Love! 

Part Two; Choose Self Love instead!

Most of our problems don't come from others or our environments or circumstances, it comes from a lack of self love. 

No one can wager your self-worth but yourself. Seeking out the love and attention from other people means that you are not satisfying your own needs from your own self. You're not starving for love from another being, your starving for love from yourself. Sadly, we often look for it in other people though--especially because we are taught early on (as said above) that love is measured by others and not from ourselves. We need to know others think we are worthy before we can accept that we are for ourselves. And even that is often not good enough so we'll continue to degrade ourselves, be disrespectful to our emotions, and be generally self-destructive with put-downs and feelings of lack of self-worth. It's not your fault (but it is your responsibility to change it) and you are not alone if you feel this way. Our environments growing up can be pretty hostile and we learn early on to not feel good about ourselves--because others do not feel good about themselves and take it out on other people. It's a terrible cycle that has continued forever and most people don't know how to break it. It's not as hard as you think though, it just takes some time and patience and loving attention towards your self. Whenever someone is making another feel bad, it's a reflection of how they feel about themselves--the reason they give is just an excuse. So stop allowing others to make you feel bad and realize that it's not You, it's Them--or if you're the one delivering the put-downs, realize that is Is You, Not Them. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Brush them off. No one can make you feel good about yourself either without your consent. No one can make you happy and loved except for yourself. You have to be willing to let love into your life. And you have to be willing to Love your Self.  

Stop relying on your happiness coming from another and realize that it actually comes from within yourself. You Choose if you are going to be Happy. You Choose whether or not to experience Love in your life. Love comes from within your Self. How can you expect anyone else to love you if You don't love you? And how can you expect to love anything outside of your Self if you don't love your Self? I'm not sorry to say this, because it's true, and realizing this will help you love yourself and your life. It's time for some self-love, Gorgeous! Know that you are beautiful, that you are fantastic, fun, and fabulous! Appreciate yourself so that others will do the same. And stop looking for others to tell you how amazing you are. You do not need their approval, you only need your own. Stop feeling insecure about yourself and start loving yourself! 

This Valentine's Day, instead of allowing yourself to get all self-pitying and wallowing in a box of chocolates and some sappy chick flick that will only make you feel worse, throw it all down and declare that you are SUPER! Yeah, that's right, declare your independence, and declare your love for yourself. Remind yourself that no one else can make you happy but yourself. That you don't Need another person to make you feel loved and special and wonderful. You should be able to do that for yourself. Because you are wonderful, if only you choose to see that within yourself. You are who you want to be. Your attitude is something you can choose. Your life is something you can choose. You may be stuck with yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't change and be the real you, the happy you, the you you want to be. Go ahead, choose it. Choose to be happy and to be loved. Choose to Love You. 

Again, this is simple Law of Attraction stuff. Feel love and you will allow more love to enter into your life. Appreciate yourself and you will allow others to appreciate you as well. 

Wallowing in a shameful box of chocolates upset that you didn't get roses is not empowering. It's goddamn deconstructive. Take that energy and turn it into something positive. Go out on the night if you choose, but do it for You and plan to go home alone instead of giving into the Valentine's Day crap that you need to be in another's arms that night. You don't. Be in your own loving arms. Empower yourself! Don't hate on Love, love Love. Be Positive and Loving. More negativity only breeds further negativity, towards yourself and towards others. So be Loving, all around. 

Okay, so here's what I'd like you to do on Valentine's Day…

Take the day for yourself! Buy yourself a box of chocolates (vegan and fair-trade of course ;))--not because you are trying to make it look as if someone else bought you chocolates, but because you deserve them and if anyone is getting you chocolates that day it should be You getting them for the love of your Self. :) Pamper yourself, relax, do some of the things you enjoy. Have a warm candlelit bubble bath, a cup of tea in hand and those chocolates, and soak in the joy of being you. Write yourself a love note as well, listing all the things that you Love about You--there better be at least a page full! Dance around your living room a little. Spend the evening with yourself. Cuddle up in a blanket and watch your favourite feel-good movie. Read a fantastic book. Meditate on Love. Do whatever your heart desires. Take time to love You. Because you deserve that love. And again I come back to; if you can't love yourself, how can you expect to love anything else in the world, or for others to love you?

Self-love is one of the most important things to have in your life. So learn to Love and appreciate You!

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☺ Valentines Edition; Part 1: Outlooks & Relationships ☺

I say screw it to the typical lovey dovey Valentine's Day; the let's spend money on silly red hearts, candy, and feel sorry for ourselves if we don't have someone to spend the supposedly romantic day with. I'm not much one for traditions and holidays that tell us how to feel and when to feel it. If you want a romantic evening with someone then go have a spectacularly romantic evening with someone, don't wait for Valentine's Day to pull out all the stops. If you want to be extra caring and buy a special someone a gift, then do it! Don't wait until Valentine's Day to do so. Be romantic whenever the hell you want. Yeah, you get to choose when to be super romantic, what a concept! ;) 

This is actually a long subject that I want to talk about so I've split my Valentine's Day Edition into two Parts. I will get to the self-love importance (and not crying the night away in a box of chocolates if you don't have a date), but first I want to talk about the Relationship aspects--and the way in which we set ourselves up for disappointment and create defeating expectations on Valentine's Day. I want to ask the questions; why do we set ourselves up for disappointment? Why do we get our hopes all high, and/or make these ridiculous expectations of a romantic day or evening? Here are a few reality checks I'd like to share that may help you survive Valentine's Day--and gain a new perspective.

Part One: Relationships!

First, let's be real about our partners--should you have someone to spend Valentine's Day with. I'd like to point out that guy's don't tend to be all that romantic. It's not like the chick flicks and movies where the guy is standing outside your window playing your song with a beatbox on his shoulders and a horse-drawn carriage waiting to whisk you off into some perfect sunset. I'm not saying that there aren't guys out there who do ridiculously romantic things, but there's a hell of a lot more guys who just aren't so romantically inclined. There is nothing wrong with that, they just have different parts of their brains working than women. Our expectations that men are just like in the movies is not a healthy expectation to have and usually sets us up for disappointment. Instead we should try focussing on the positive qualities of our partners, and focus on the things they Do do for us, instead of focussing on all the things we feel they do wrong.  

I'm always intrigued as to where this fairytale idea came from to begin with. That a girl must get all gushy, want presents and gifts from their partner, that their partner must do immensely romantic things all the time? Personally, I'd like to blame the movies and media, but it's hard to say at this point. There may be an innate nature within us females already that places importance on attention and caring from their partners--which in itself, is not unreasonable. Perhaps it is even some primal inner nature, like when male animals need to win over the female before courting. The male must impress the female. Truly, I'm not quite sure where it all started, but it certainly exists in many of us. Really, I don't think it matters where it came from, what does matter is doing something about it. 

Balance! The answer to all. 

In many cases guys do super sweet things for their ladies, bringing home flowers, making them breakfast, washing the dishes (??). But often these things get overlooked, comes with that negative attitude that makes you think he is not trying hard enough or cares because you have some other expectation in your mind of something he should be doing to wow you but hasn't. So you miss the things he actually Is doing. Tisk tisk. Perhaps like your expectations that he will put together some elaborately romantic date on Valentine's Day but instead he brings you home some flowers and tries to be romantic in his own way. But it wasn't what You had wanted or expected so you miss the sweetness altogether. If you want your partner to do more for you then appreciate what they do for you already, because you are probably missing it. Appreciation will make them feel good about what they're doing and encourage more nice behaviours. It's also simple Law of Attraction stuff--appreciation for what you do have so that you receive more good things. 

The other piece of advice is to let go of materialism. You don't really want to be won over by Things now do you? I understand that once upon a time the "thought" behind a gift is the important part, but let's face it, today there are plenty of girls who just want lavish gifts that they pick out themselves instead of even giving the guy a chance to pick out something thoughtful. Tell me how is this romantic again? You don't want to force your partner into buying you things, it takes away any notion of romance and caring. Let them appreciate you in their own way. If they surprise you with a gift, fantastic! If they don't, still fantastic! Remember that your love is not something that needs to be bought. Love should be showed, not bought.

On the other end of things, you don't want your partner to not put in any effort at all either. Balance, remember? And this goes both ways! Too often women have this expectation that their partner should be pulling out all the stops and dazzling her with splendid gifts and surprises. Well, what have you done lately? It may be wise to take a look at your own actions before you go judging theirs. Regardless, both people should be putting effort into the relationship, otherwise there isn't a relationship to be had. Love needs to come pouring in from both people. Otherwise it's not a relationship, it's a mildly dying friendship. Know when enough is enough or whether there is something worth saving. You are never stuck in a relationship, remember that. You get to choose. Always. 

But, again, both people should be putting in some effort. You should be doing nice, thoughtful, loving things for each other, as people often do at the beginning of the relationship because you're trying to win them over, but the longer you are together the less you feel like you need to do these things. I mean, you've won them already, so why keep trying? Do! Because it shows that you are actually still in love and care about the other person, that they are still worth the effort. Just because you are together, even "tied the knot" "til death do you part," doesn't mean you should just conclude that you don't need to try in the relationship anymore. Effort will keep a relationship strong. You Do still need to win each other over, or else the relationship becomes boring and stale and eventually the spark goes out. Keep the spark going. Do nice things for your partner! Period. Not just on Valentine's Day!

Of course, not everything that I have to say applies to everyone, different parts will apply to different people. Or perhaps not at all. But I have a feeling that chances are at least part of this applies to most people. 

Balance. It is always the key to happy equality in all aspects of life. And a smile and positive attitude of course, that good attitude will allow you to enjoy all of your relationships and see which ones are worth having. So, to summarize a bit:

Express Gratitude for the other person and seeing their good side instead of focussing attention on their negativities. 

Let go of Expectations and welcome what actually comes.  

Always put effort into the relationship, it should be coming in from both partners. 

Spend quality time with your partner. Be attentive, loving, caring, and thoughtful always. Be respectful. Communicate. 

Oh yeah, and say "Screw it!" to traditions! ;) 

Join me for Part Two--being loving towards yourself and having a positive attitude when you're single. Basically, how to survive Valentine's Day with a beaming smile on your face! ;) 

Have a beautiful day! 

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☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Oh my, it is the week of seeing nothing but hearts and hearing about Valentine's Day this and that. It is the time when we either thrive or crumble. Well, this week you are going to Thrive! And it's my job to make sure that happens! So, let's get that love pumping this Motivational Monday!!! ♥

☺ Love Yourself! Love starts with You. If you can't love yourself then how can you expect anyone outside yourself to love you? If you can't love yourself how can You expect to love anyone or anything outside your self? If you want to feel good, if you want to improve your life, your relationships, your attitude, and everything around you for the better then you must start here. Having love for yourself is the single biggest step to a happier life. So love love!    

☺ Survive Valentine's Day… For a holiday that's supposed to be all about love there is certainly a lot of negativity associated with this day. Last year I wrote two articles to help you not only survive, but thrive, this lovey dovey week. So, yes, I'm giving you some more reading material, because reading and taking in lessons is far more useful than complaining and wallowing in self pity. ;) Valentine's Edition; Part 1: Outlooks & Relationships & Valentine's Edition; Part 2: Loving Yourself.

☺ Celebrate Generosity Day! So the idea is similar to your weekly random acts of kindness, but in this sense we're turning Valentine's Day into something more meaningful and going beyond the hallmark consumerism based holiday. We all have love in our hearts so why not go the extra mile and spread some extra love on February 14th? Check out this article about Generosity Day and be sure to like their facebook page to share in all the goodness!  

☺ Make Love the only answer. Make love your answer to everything. Approach everything and everyone in your life and your environment with love. Love truly is the answer and I simply can't say it enough. Your world will change completely when you learn to be loving to all beings, all situations, all things around you. It's a beautiful thing. So get into the habit of speaking, breathing, and acting out of love. 

☺ Take time to Love You! Take a day this week just for your own self appreciation. Pamper yourself, relax, do some of the things you enjoy. Have a warm candlelit bubble bath, a cup of tea, and soak in the joy of being you. Dance around your living room a little. Spend the evening with yourself. Cuddle up in a blanket and watch your favourite feel-good movie. Read a fantastic book. Meditate on Love. Do whatever your heart desires. Take time to love You!     

☺ Write a Love Note! This love note is just for You. I want you to take time every single day this week to sit down and write out all the things that you Love about You. There better be at least a page full every day, because if you can't fill a page then you're not loving yourself enough. See the beauty within yourself and raise yourself up onto that platform of love. Be the person you deserve and truly are. Because you truly are magnificent.  

☺ "To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh. One last time, remember to appreciate and love you for You. Stop looking for approval and acceptance from others. The sooner you learn to accept and love yourself the sooner others will do the same. 

Happy Love week! Get out there and make Love your only answer! ♥

Much Love from me to you! Create the Best Damn Day ever! 

Love Love! xo 

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