{life reflections} The Human Capacity to Judge, and Incapacity to be Happy for Another

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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The Human Capacity to Judge, and Incapacity to be Happy for Another

Life has generally been feeling pretty amazing. It feels like the storm is finally passing and the sunshine can brightly beam its beautiful rays back down into this chaotic life. Life genuinely feels positive, optimistic, and full of new life, passion, joys, and excitement. 

But I know what some of you might be thinking… she's lying, she's making it up, she's trying to convince the world that she's happy when she's not. 

What prompts such an accusation, you might ask? Well, there have been quite the new experiences and lessons through such big changes in my life, and people's reactions and behaviours have perhaps been the most interesting, if not annoying, or disheartening, to see. 

The thing is that I did expect a certain amount of gossip, a certain amount of people's opinions to twist the story of my recent divorce around and redeliver it in a less amicable way. Things between me and my husband have been as smooth as they can be. I don't hold anything against him, and I hope he doesn't hold anything against me either. What I have found annoying is that people try to messy that. It's as if people are so afraid of change (even if it's not to do with them but simply around them) that they have to fight it any way they can, or pour fuel on the fire, or start a fire altogether. People are unable to be happy for others. People also judge others entirely too freely and unthoughtfully. This has been a huge eye-opener to a concept I was already fairly familiar with. However, it never ceases to amaze me.

The thing is that I don't want to be posting publicly about this whole divorce with my (ex)husband. I have written bits and pieces about my own perspective and lessons along the way regarding these big changes in my life--as a reflection of life, being human, and the experience of learning and growing and helping one another in the process (I am a writer, after all). But I have kept things respectfully distant as to the details of our relationship-ending; and, I do believe, with tact. This is when gossip becomes extra annoying. I have been pretty open about things that I felt a certain need or wish to, so that people may understand things and Not gossip. What people don't seem to realize is that gossip can be hurtful, it can make a mess of an amicable situation, and it can prompt unnecessary drama. On a personal level, this has prompted all sorts of feelings in me, mainly a certain bitterness towards humanity, I've come to realize. For some reason I'm having a hard time letting this go. Perhaps I'm too emotional. Perhaps I do care too much what people think. Perhaps it is just that I do want to keep this divorce as smooth and kind as possible for him and for me. Or perhaps it's just because I feel like I need to justify my actions now. 

I don't think I need to justify myself to anyone. My life is my life. But it's a difficult thing somehow to wrap our heads around. It's not fun to have our integrity challenged, especially when we do the best that we can in any given situation. I feel as if this is a topic plenty of people can relate to--just as with my last topic of having our sense of self challenged; very similar topics, I must admit. 

There is a part of me that just wanted to believe that people would keep their noses aptly where they belong. There is a part of me that hoped people would just, basically, be decent human beings. What is this human attachment to drama? What is this human need to gossip and place their own opinions wrongly into a situation they know nothing about? What is this human impulse to judge? What is this human addiction to see the most negative in someone else's situation? More importantly, what is this human mentality that makes people unable to be Happy for someone else? 

Instead of just looking at someone's situation and going, "oh, they look happy. Therefore I am happy for them," people have to look at it and go, "oh, it's a mask. What are they trying to prove to everyone? They must actually be unhappy and are just trying to hide it." 

I think it's a pretty large reflection of our society as a whole. How badly are we conditioned to be unhappy? How conditioned are we to be jealous, envious, and generally negative towards other people? Through plenty of personal experiences, and through plenty of hearing, watching, and learning about other people's experiences, I've come to learn that people generally are incapable of being happy for someone else's successes. We are not in competition with one another, and the sooner people can realize that, the sooner we will all get along. Not only that, but the sooner people can learn to actually be Happy for someone else's successes, then the more you welcome opportunities and success into your own life. 

There are happy people in the world. There are Good Things genuinely in people's lives. I have worked hard to make happiness a part of my life, to welcome good things, to experience joys, to learn, to grow, to make my life what I want it to be. So, yes, I say this with confidence: I love my life, I am Happy, I feel good about the future, and I am not just saying this to hide some inner dark corners of myself. I have learned to be a pretty open person--perhaps too open for my own good at times. I have learned to accept being human. I have learned to embrace my darkness instead of pretending it's not there. I have learned to be Happy, and I am still learning to deal with the flow of the storms that come in and out of life. But one thing you will not find me doing is being something I am not. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I am not trying to convince anyone that I am happy. I am not trying to convince anyone that I made the right decisions in my life. I am not trying to convince anyone that I am in love again. These are things I genuinely feel, things in my life that I have worked hard at. You don't have to be happy for me, I don't need your validation; I merely wish that you could be happy enough in your own life instead of deflecting on other people. It makes me sad to see it, and I have seen it plenty of times (people deflecting their miseries onto other people). I have watched plenty of friends and people close to me affected by this negative mentality. It's a shame. And it's silly. People need to learn to be happy for one another, support one another. People need to learn to stop assuming things about others, because unless you've walked a lifetime in someone else's shoes then you simply cannot understand, and therefore certainly cannot judge. 

I say these things not to justify myself anymore, I say these things because I feel there needs to be a major shift in the human mentality. Fortunately, I am also surrounded by so many wonderfully, incredibly enlightened and conscious people; people that strive to actually be happy and good and positive. I understand we are all just human, we are just trying, learning, struggling, and striving for better. But that positive shift is so important. When you observe another person's life, do not assume, do not judge, do not gossip. 

Life isn't rainbows and butterflies all the time for anyone, but I choose to focus more of my attention on the joys and things that excite me and make me happy, instead of complaining and dwelling on the negative. That is why the picture of my life I paint is happy and good, because that is what I strive for every day, that is what I Choose my life to Be; and that is why, for the most part, I am genuinely blissfully happy. I recommend everyone strives and works towards the same, because the potential exists in all of us. 

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{life reflections} Changes + Decisions

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

Changes + Decisions

Big life changes are intimidating at the best of times. When such large changes occur it often feels as if they threaten to crumble the foundation on which we have spent so much time building a certain part of our lives. We feel the ripple all the way through other areas of our lives… disruptive, destructive, unbalanced. It's difficult to stay centred, grounded, humbly in line with the positive of our new big changes. However, just because things seem rocky on the surface doesn't mean a beautiful plan is not still at play. In fact, our worlds must often crumble so that we may rebuild new ones. This is a good thing. The threat to our balance may not make it feel so, but change is good; only our resistance to it is bad. 

Let me repeat that: Change Is Good! 

Change is especially good when it is through our own action, through following our own hearts, and through chasing our dreams. Going after what we truly desire can be positively frightful, because it does require big change, risk, and stepping out of our comfort zones. However, success is all dependent on You. If you want something, go after it; but don't go half way and then give up because it's too difficult. If you want something bad enough, it will most definitely be yours. Sometimes it may be easy, other times it may require blood and sweat and tears and a great deal of an emotional roller coaster, perseverance, and optimism to drag you out the other side. But it will be worth it, and you will be all the more proud for your efforts. 

When we can keep the end goal in sight, then the journey becomes more graceful. I'm not saying tears and frustration and sacrifice won't still be involved, but overall your feeling should be optimistic, happy, and hopeful. When we can maintain our focus this way, the struggle lessens; because we are able to see it as a challenge, a bump on our path to overcome, but something that we Know we will ultimately come out the other side from. Optimism and Positive Thinking become your best tools during these trials. 

Remember that no matter what dark hole you have been consumed by, there is still light in the world, there is still joy, there is still happiness; and they are all there waiting for you. There is always a way to climb back to the surface of any dark hole in your path. Always. Always. Such is the beauty of life.

Before Big Changes enter our lives there is, of course, the preceding (and rather daunting) Decision making-time. This period is often the hardest part, the part that requires the largest act of faith in ourselves, and the biggest leap. Such big choices and changes can make it is easy to get tangled up in the web of our incessant over-thinking minds. So what to do? First off, if you want a decision to be the Right Decision, then it is up to You to make it the right one. If you want happiness then it's up to you to find it and choose it. What I believe, and through personal experience, the Universe is bringing to us exactly what we need when we need it. The Universe has our best interests in mind when we set that positive intention. 

However, there are no simple choices or answers in life. Indecision can grind on our being for months at at time without resolve. In the end, all we can do is do our best to listen to and to trust in our Hearts, have the courage to do what we need for ourselves, and believe that the Universe has our best interest in mind. We should also always make the most of what's given to us, and manifest and believe in the most positive and beneficial outcome. Believe that everything will work out for the best; and that everything happens for a reason. Because it will, and it does! 

Every change we make should be because we are choosing to love and honour our own needs, well-being, and happiness. If you are constantly putting someone else in front of you, then you will never be happy. I believe this to be particularly true in personal relationships. I'm not saying a little sacrifice here and there can't be constructive for a relationship, but if just one of you is (or both of you are) constantly sacrificing your own needs, plans, and desires, then you are heading for a derailing. We can only sacrifice so much of ourselves and our lives before there's nothing left. We become drained, tired, resentful, frustrated, and ultimately lost as we struggle to feel in tune with our own needs and dreams. The relationship will stop being fulfilling, and then it is either destined to be miserable forever (unless of some miraculous breakthrough), or will end. It takes a great deal of honesty with yourself to see what is best for you (and all those involved). Through experience, it is one of the hardest decisions to make, because the fear of making the wrong decision is somehow more frightening than being miserable forever. 

It took me being brutally, brutally honest with myself to make my recent huge life change. It took six gruelling months of hoping, trying, and failing, and then doing it all over again. What finally broke the ice was a certain vow I made to myself. I look back at this with a little flutter in my heart towards the perfection of the Universe now that things are where they are. The vow I took was this…

I vow to be Happy. I vow to be Open and Honest with myself. I vow to find my Fire. I vow to Be Myself, Love My Self, and Respect Myself. I vow to actively participate in my own Happiness. I vow to be kind and gentle with myself. I vow to stop feeling badly or apologizing for being human, for not being okay, or for being my self. I vow to never allow someone else to take away my self-worth. I vow to get my spark back, to feel myself again, to get My Life back. 

I vow to have the courage to do what I need for myself; to be bold and take risks; to be strong and courageous. I vow to Let Go. I vow to release what no longer serves me. 

I vow to live my life for Me. I vow to live a fulfilling Life. 

I made these vows to myself at the beginning of May. What happened after was a spiral of events that led up to exactly what I had vowed that day. As soon as I made clear to myself, not only that I Wanted, but that I Deserved to Be Happy and have a great life, then things began to fall into place. It still blows my mind. The simple act of allowing ourselves to Be Worthy of Good. It will transform your life, it will supercharge you, it will draw to you what you need to make a decision and to change your life in the best possible, and most beneficial, way. 

So, my best advice if you're stuck between indecision? Trust your heart, and vow to yourself that you Deserve Good Things, Happiness, and Love. 

And how to handle the turbulence to follow any big change? Focus on the outcome, and remember that this too shall pass; you will come out the other side into a land of rainbows and butterflies. Remember to set Positive Intentions, keep your mind on your goals and desires; keep the canvas clear of negative thinking and filled with what you want your life to be.    

  

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☺ Love All That You Are ☺

Happy Love Day to every single one of you amazing human beings (and animals, even if they can't read this)!

This Valentine's Day I wanted to remind you all to spread that love deeply and truly into your own self. Remember that loving your self is one of the most important and blessing things you can do in your life. Loving yourself opens you up to love from others, it fills yourself and your life with happiness and bliss and all good things. Self Love, Self Appreciation, is all too often overlooked and rarely taught in our society, so every chance that comes along that I can take as an opportunity to remind you to Love Yourself, I will. 

Love YourSelf! Truly, deeply, and with the most sincere gratitude. Love your amazing personality. Love your body from your head to your toes. Love your mind that makes you uniquely you and gives you all the capacity in the world to grow, learn, and expand your well being and life. Love and recognize all of your talents; and love and acknowledge all of your flaws that make you human. Love your imperfections and know that they are what make you perfect. Love Love Love everything about yourself. And remember that You Are Worthy; of love, of joys, of all good things. 

Valentine's Day isn't about your "soul mate", it is about Love! And Love is a gift and a joy to be shared with many; with your family, your friends, your animal companions, to strangers, to our planet, and to all the wonderful beings that live here. So, on this lovely day, remember to Love: all of those around you, and especially YourSelf! Open your mind, open, your heart, and you will welcome love in all its greatest forms. 

Happy Love Day!   

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☺ Steps to Self Care ☺

It's easy to fall apart. It's easy to not love yourself and to feel as if things are always going wrong. It's also easy to fall back into bad habits when things get tough. If you want to be happy, to feel good every single day, then here is your guide to Self-Care: 

Stop Worrying. Stop over thinking so much or you'll create problems that aren't even there. Don't think, don't wonder, don't imagine, don't obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will work out for the best. If you do this then it will. Most of our problems are created by our own minds, so learn to let go, allow things to pass, and stay positive and focussed on the joy of the moment. It won't steer you wrong. 

Stop Complaining. Complaining is our worse habit. Break it. It attracts more and more negative things and keeps you in the cycle of unhappiness and stress. Every time you catch yourself complaining replace those words with ones of positivity. Choose to talk more about your joys. Choose to talk about the things you're grateful for. Talk about the things that enrich your life. As a general rule; for every complaint, list ten things you're grateful for instead. 

Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth. You are an amazing person! Stop being concerned about whether or not you are living up to someone else's expectations. Your value is not based on anyone else's thoughts or opinions, it is based on how You see yourself. So Embrace your uniqueness, your loveliness, your abilities and talents. Be Happy with yourself inside and out. In the end only your own opinion of yourself is what matters, so make it positive and love yourself and be the person you want to be. Appreciate yourself and your path will be lighter. 

Love Who You are. And accept that you are worthy of all goods things. Insecurities are perhaps our biggest downfall. They make us feel unworthy in relationships. They make us feel insecure in our jobs, our lives, our actions. They make us feel uncomfortable simply by being ourselves and living in our own skin. Drop those fears, insecurities and feelings of self worth. You Are Worthy! You are brilliant! You are amazing! Remind yourself every single day that you are worthy of good things, that you are fantastic, that people love you and want to be around you. Make it your daily mantra. Fall in love with yourself. Write down every day things you love about yourself. Focus on love for yourself every single day, every single minute. Learn to love yourself and others will too. 

Be Yourself. There is no wrong or right way of being yourself. You are You. Uniquely, wonderfully you. You have amazing qualities, abilities, and talents unique to you. There are so many different qualities people can have, and you are a vessel of your own combination of these qualities that makes you uniquely you. You may be completely different than one person and then share interests with another. Discover yourself. Be Yourself and never be ashamed of whatever that might be. Because when you learn to be yourself you will attract other like-minded people and your relationships will become more fulfilling and real. 

Live Your Life. Your life is your own. Your own beautifully unique and fantastic life that no one else can decide for you. We are all different and what is right for one person may not be right for another; so stop allowing someone else's opinions dictate Your Life. Don't worry about what people think. Don't concern yourself with what other people are doing. There is no "right" way, there is only your own way because it is Your Life. You don't need to follow the flock, you should be setting yourself free and following your own passions. Chase your own dreams, live your own life. 

Don't be afraid of Failure. Make mistakes, embrace failures. If you never try you'll never know, you'll never learn, and you'll never grow. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. So stop trying to avoid making such mistakes or you'll risk missing out on your own potential and your own life. Own your mistakes, chase your mistakes, learn and grow from your mistakes. And try try again.  

Face your Troubles. When we run from our problems, they consume us, they chase us, they become embedded incessantly in our minds never to let go. When we stand up and face our troubles then we place ourselves in the position to overcome, learn from, and move on from those problems. No more hiding or running; Stand up and face them. 

Let go of what you Can't Control. Often we are people pleasers. We want to make everything okay. We throw ourselves into the middle of some pretty bad situations because we think we can help or change a person. I'm not saying helping people is bad, in fact it's great. But what is bad is disregarding your own self care. You can't change people, they have to want to change themselves. And you can't control everything and certainly not certain situations. The best way to help is to be happy and calm and accept when you can or cannot help. And when you cannot help then learn to take a step back and let go instead of carrying that weight with you. 

Avoid Drama and Negativity as much as Possible. Again, stop throwing yourself into the middle of some ordeal. Often we do this because it's actually a subconscious addiction, an old habit in which we feel the need to self harm due to habit and lack of self-worth. So, again, you cannot change or control people. Surrounding yourself with such drama or negativity doesn't help them and it doesn't help you. It's more than okay to step away. Just be happy, be yourself, keep smiling and you'll help them in the biggest way by being an inspiration for them to strive for. 

Undo Self Harm. Many people have self-destructive habits we turn to when things get tough. Some people drink, some do drugs, others have eating disorders, others cut themselves or inflict self harm. These are all negative qualities that we turn to when we are down. They become habit. It isn't usually as simple as just stopping, and in thinking so we usually get down on ourselves when we can't "just stop." Recognize the self-destructive habit and then pay attention to what things trigger it. The only way to overcome it is to conquer it, to work through the issues that make you turn to it. Just remember; you cannot fully love yourself (and therefor fully be happy) if you continue to harm yourself, as this is simply not a loving act. Learn to love yourself and you will never want to harm yourself again. 

Trust Your Heart. If something feels wrong, don't do it. If something doesn't resonate with you, don't do it. If you get negative yucky vibes from someone, don't be around that person. Your heart knows things your head can't always understand. Learn to trust your instincts and listen to your feelings. Trust and follow your heart. 

Depend on Yourself for Happiness. Your happiness is not dependent on others. Your happiness isn't by chance, it's a choice you have to make. Others cannot make you happy. Things cannot make you happy. They may contribute to momentary joy, but not to everlasting happiness. You are the master of your fate. You are the decider. You must choose to wake up every day with a smile, to see the good, to seek the positive, and to embrace the joys of your own being and your own life. Happiness is within your grasp. You decide.

Own your life, own your actions, your words, your beautiful personality. Stay Positive and keep learning and growing and self-discovering. 

Much Love! 

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☺ Valentines Edition; Part Two: Loving Yourself! ☺

Okay, so now that I've covered some of the Relationship bumps in Part One of my Valentine's Edition, moving on to the second reason that I say screw-it to Valentine's Day…

First I'll say, no, I'm not some lonely girl moping around hating on Love (although you probably know this by now unless you are new here). I am happily married with an amazing husband. In fact, I promote love in all forms at any chance I get. So why am I writing about this anti-Valentine's day stuff? Short answer; because it does not promote real Love. There are several negative mentalities this day entails and crams into people's minds, and it's also just another silly holiday that tells you how to act and think (buy things! Conform damn you! Conform!). 

You cannot buy love, yet what Valentine's Day suggests is, not only that you can, but that you should. It also gauges your self-worth in a few ways; that you are a bad date if you don't buy presents for each other, or that you are worthless if no one buys you a present or sends you a Valentine's Day card. It also makes you feel (falsely) good or, more commonly, bad about yourself depending on how many cards or flowers you get, and whether or not you have a date. Suddenly our worth becomes based on the attention (I say attention because it is certainly not love) coming in from other people, instead of actual values, morals, and your own Self. Suddenly Love is measured by material objects and the false pretence of others--instead of where Love actually comes from; the Self. Hopefully you can see how incredibly self-destructive all of this is, how it does not actually promote Love, and how incredibly silly it all is at the end of it all. 

Sadly, most of us have been there at least once in our lives when we were a lonely teenager feeling sorry for ourselves come Valentine's Day and we didn't have a date. Hopefully you can realize that this is not a healthy mentality to have, and unfortunately too many of us have it. And what usually starts in school often carries on into adulthood, planting those negative seeds early to allow them to stick for longer. Why do we do this to ourselves? Set ourselves up for disappointment like that? Get our hopes all high and allow ourselves to be disappointed if we don't magically have a date on one day of the year? It makes no sense in reality. And so many people end up settling for some crappy date just so they are not alone. Or send flowers to yourself (which is actually not a bad thing, but I'll get to that later) in attempt to make it seem as if someone else did. 

So, entering Valentine's Day survival mode… it doesn't have to be a negative day at all, let's get on with some Real Love! 

Part Two; Choose Self Love instead!

Most of our problems don't come from others or our environments or circumstances, it comes from a lack of self love. 

No one can wager your self-worth but yourself. Seeking out the love and attention from other people means that you are not satisfying your own needs from your own self. You're not starving for love from another being, your starving for love from yourself. Sadly, we often look for it in other people though--especially because we are taught early on (as said above) that love is measured by others and not from ourselves. We need to know others think we are worthy before we can accept that we are for ourselves. And even that is often not good enough so we'll continue to degrade ourselves, be disrespectful to our emotions, and be generally self-destructive with put-downs and feelings of lack of self-worth. It's not your fault (but it is your responsibility to change it) and you are not alone if you feel this way. Our environments growing up can be pretty hostile and we learn early on to not feel good about ourselves--because others do not feel good about themselves and take it out on other people. It's a terrible cycle that has continued forever and most people don't know how to break it. It's not as hard as you think though, it just takes some time and patience and loving attention towards your self. Whenever someone is making another feel bad, it's a reflection of how they feel about themselves--the reason they give is just an excuse. So stop allowing others to make you feel bad and realize that it's not You, it's Them--or if you're the one delivering the put-downs, realize that is Is You, Not Them. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Brush them off. No one can make you feel good about yourself either without your consent. No one can make you happy and loved except for yourself. You have to be willing to let love into your life. And you have to be willing to Love your Self.  

Stop relying on your happiness coming from another and realize that it actually comes from within yourself. You Choose if you are going to be Happy. You Choose whether or not to experience Love in your life. Love comes from within your Self. How can you expect anyone else to love you if You don't love you? And how can you expect to love anything outside of your Self if you don't love your Self? I'm not sorry to say this, because it's true, and realizing this will help you love yourself and your life. It's time for some self-love, Gorgeous! Know that you are beautiful, that you are fantastic, fun, and fabulous! Appreciate yourself so that others will do the same. And stop looking for others to tell you how amazing you are. You do not need their approval, you only need your own. Stop feeling insecure about yourself and start loving yourself! 

This Valentine's Day, instead of allowing yourself to get all self-pitying and wallowing in a box of chocolates and some sappy chick flick that will only make you feel worse, throw it all down and declare that you are SUPER! Yeah, that's right, declare your independence, and declare your love for yourself. Remind yourself that no one else can make you happy but yourself. That you don't Need another person to make you feel loved and special and wonderful. You should be able to do that for yourself. Because you are wonderful, if only you choose to see that within yourself. You are who you want to be. Your attitude is something you can choose. Your life is something you can choose. You may be stuck with yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't change and be the real you, the happy you, the you you want to be. Go ahead, choose it. Choose to be happy and to be loved. Choose to Love You. 

Again, this is simple Law of Attraction stuff. Feel love and you will allow more love to enter into your life. Appreciate yourself and you will allow others to appreciate you as well. 

Wallowing in a shameful box of chocolates upset that you didn't get roses is not empowering. It's goddamn deconstructive. Take that energy and turn it into something positive. Go out on the night if you choose, but do it for You and plan to go home alone instead of giving into the Valentine's Day crap that you need to be in another's arms that night. You don't. Be in your own loving arms. Empower yourself! Don't hate on Love, love Love. Be Positive and Loving. More negativity only breeds further negativity, towards yourself and towards others. So be Loving, all around. 

Okay, so here's what I'd like you to do on Valentine's Day…

Take the day for yourself! Buy yourself a box of chocolates (vegan and fair-trade of course ;))--not because you are trying to make it look as if someone else bought you chocolates, but because you deserve them and if anyone is getting you chocolates that day it should be You getting them for the love of your Self. :) Pamper yourself, relax, do some of the things you enjoy. Have a warm candlelit bubble bath, a cup of tea in hand and those chocolates, and soak in the joy of being you. Write yourself a love note as well, listing all the things that you Love about You--there better be at least a page full! Dance around your living room a little. Spend the evening with yourself. Cuddle up in a blanket and watch your favourite feel-good movie. Read a fantastic book. Meditate on Love. Do whatever your heart desires. Take time to love You. Because you deserve that love. And again I come back to; if you can't love yourself, how can you expect to love anything else in the world, or for others to love you?

Self-love is one of the most important things to have in your life. So learn to Love and appreciate You!

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☺ Live in your Heart's World, Not in your Stuff's World ☺

"We are not consumers. We are human-Beings. Our needs are unique and cannot be met with products." 

~The Unconsumer Manifesto.

We live in a society that teaches us social status in the form of fashion, Happiness in the form of possessions, love in the form of physical gifts, and worth in the form of high-trending anything. However, more and more people are awakening from this dream-like illusion. More and more people are realizing that all that "stuff" does not make them Happy. In fact, quite the opposite. 

What these "things" are are distractions from reality, from Happiness and from actually Living. They are not Life. They are not Happiness. They do not fulfil any inherent desire that cannot be filled by what's already inside us. 

Does this mean burn all your things and go live in the forest? Perhaps not quite. But you would be surprised by what you could discover about yourself, about life, and about true Happiness if you actually did. 

In the words of John Lennon, "Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can?" 

We live in a world that teaches us absolute attachment to possessions. Ironically, it also teaches us absolute disregard for possessions, that these things are absolutely disposable--that is, so long as you have another "thing" to replace the one to be discarded. In that sense, possessions have passing value, so the distraction maintains our mind's attention constantly on whatever's new and "exciting." We never stop to look within ourselves for fulfillment and true happiness. 

Perhaps first we must also look at why our society teaches us this so that we can understand why it is flawed and why it is best to move away from this mentality. 

"Stuff" means the economy is supposedly booming. "Stuff" means money is being spent and that keeps those with the most money and power in control. Now, it is important to see that it is those people--with the billion dollar pockets that spend billions of dollars on advertising-- that are constantly and consistently putting the idea in our heads that all that "stuff" will buy you happiness. The message tells us that we need "things" to find self-worth, by shoving the notion into our brains that we are not worthy, beautiful, or wonderful as we are. The world wants to change you, and constantly at that, so that you will need to change your appearance and demeanour with clothing, new gadgets, cars, and whatever else they can use to make you spend money. And if everything around us is subliminally and obviously telling us to consume and that materialism is everything, who is going to question the lie? 

But that's exactly what it is, a lie. If nothing more, I hope you can become aware of the lie so you can be Happy without it. 

You are not your possessions. You are not the things you own. Your life is not made up of the things you buy. Your worth is not measured by possessions. "Stuff" does not make you happy or valuable. Advertising and media will make you want to buy, consume, and rely on materialism. But you do not need it. And the sooner you can see this the sooner you can start loving yourself and your life as well.

Live in your Heart's world, not your "Stuff's" world.  Stop attachment to possessions and instead rediscover the true joy of living simply, living in harmony with the Natural Way of Things. Love and Happiness come from within, from the heart, not from "stuff." Your life is not what it is because of the possessions in it. Your life is not rich because of possessions. Your life is rich because of the people around you, because of the love experienced, and because of the memories shared. Your life is rich because of the air we breathe, the soil at our feet, the gifts of the natural world. Your life is rich and valuable, not because of "stuff" and possessions but because of connectedness and love. 

A "rich" life is not one with millions of dollars worth of "things." A rich life is one filled with happiness in your heart. You don't need "Stuff" to be Happy. Get away from consumerism and materialism and you will give yourself the chance to discover yourself, people, simplicity, and the beauty of the world untouched by society and possessions. 

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