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Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world.
Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul.
Reflections of life.
I hope to leave you inspired.
If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.
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A Slap in the Face: A Reminder of Happiness
Who is familiar with that moment when a certain realization attempts to slap you across the face? While I've had many moments like this, one in particular struck me again recently. In being honest, this little funk I've been in has been a rather tedious and lingering ordeal, one which I have been struggling with daily. Some days I feel like I must be bipolar: sparking from happiness to anger to tears in a matter of fleeting moments. One couldn't guess when the tempest would strike next. But then, I remember that I am cleansing, and that finally (several years later) all the excess estrogen has been attempting to leave my body after five years of being on the birth control pill. I also remember that the emotional roller coaster has been doing a few maniacal twists as of late--probably to keep me on my feet ;). And so, life simply has its funks and it is best not to beat oneself up over such things. We are, after all, all human, and happiness doesn't always come so easily.
And then I was slapped across the face. I don't remember how it happened, what prompted it, or why exactly in that moment it sprang up from that inner part of my mind to give me a good talking to, but it did. That slap reminded me that my happiness depends on Me, and Me alone. I am in control of my own life, I am responsible for my own state of mind. Sure, it's not always a cake walk, and sometimes things really test your ability to simply "be positive". I mean really test you. For instance, every time over the past little while that I have had a moment of absolute happy bliss, it seems to be snatched out from under me like some cruel joke. I blame everything outside of myself for that bliss being snatched away from me. Because it's easy to pass the blame, especially when one is struggling with their own inner demons within life. But then there's that slap. That slap that reminds me that I am responsible for my own happiness. In seeing this, I have to remember--and I mean really drill it into my mind again--that I not the circumstances, people, or events around me can take my smile away. Sure, things will test you (and, again, sometimes really test you) but in the end, You are still responsible for allowing these things to ruin your day--and your life. It's a harsh reality at times, especially if we are caught in a state of helplessness within our own deteriorating self-appreciation. It's like one more thing to taunt us, to tell us we're not good enough because we can't Just Be Happy. Oh cruel world! But, when being honest, and if we can really take a step back then we can also realize that this mentality only further traps us into the web of self-helplessness and the "poor me" attitude that spirals so easily out of control. Because we refuse to accept that We are in control--at least, we Can be.
Again, I'm not saying it's an easy walk in the park. Sometimes it is, most certainly, but other times it really feels like you have to fight tooth and nail to climb back to the top of the happiness ladder. And once we are at the top for a few fleeting moments, sometimes the foundation is still weak and so we topple quite easily down again. And this is another cycle that is so easy to start feeling helpless in, to start beating yourself up for, or cursing life for being so cruel. It's the self-perpetuating cycle of self-rejection, of self-loathing, or lack of self-appreciation. This is why I still hold strong to the belief system that happiness must must must start with You. Once you start feeling Good about YourSelf, then you can start to stabilize your ladder to happiness and the journey, while still bumpy, can be much easier and more manageable.
Life truly Is a beautiful, wondrous gift, and to see it as a cruel place there to tear us down or laugh at us doesn't serve you. Life is not cruel, only our mentalities towards it are. These mentalities are built over time, burdened by life events and tribulations to solidify the feeling; but all the beauty in life can also serve as your tools to change your perspective. Once the perspective starts its building then the path to happiness can truly be paved. And that path is most easily paved by gratitude: gratitude for the small things, the big things, the people around you, the events around you, the material things, the weather, a roof over your head, anything and everything, but most importantly, gratitude for Your Self.
So, allow a little slap to cross your face every so often. Let the lessons remind you to have the courage to empower yourself, to remind yourself that You Are Strong enough to overcome anything. Put yourself in control, truly and fully empower yourself and replace any negative thoughts with the words "I Can!". Love Yourself. Encourage yourself. Remind yourself that you Deserve to be happy, that you Deserve Good Things. Healing takes time, but more than that, healing takes Persistence. Do what you must for yourself every single day, by doing this you can move yourself away from the "poor me" helpless mentality and start to write a beautiful life for yourself once more.
Much Love and all the Happiness in the world to you and your beautiful sparking soul!
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