{Goodbye 2014 - Reflections of the Year}

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Goodbye 2014 - Reflections of the Year

Wow! We’ve already reached the end of 2014! What a year! As I sit here in my new little apartment, my eyes glancing to the large painting my boyfriend made me for my birthday, with my kitty on my lap, and the twinkle lights strung about the walls giving my creative space a cozy, moody feel, I can’t help smile. So much of my life is so immensely different from December of last year. The end of 2013 was a very bumpy road, as I previously blogged about. The feeling this year feels much much different. A feeling of fulfillment, excitement, and bliss sing in my heart with a very happy song. 

What a year indeed! 

To start upon this reflection, we can all be thankful we survived Mercury in Retrograde! What a ride that was for most people I know. I remember watching couple after couple breaking up—some of these were short-lived relationships, some of them fifteen-year marriages—but they collected one by one until over twenty people I knew had ended their relationships. I remember watching this domino effect, wondering when my turn would be. It was a feeling of mixed emotions, of relief and of fear. My turn certainly came—which has been no secret to my readers, starting with a rather large handful of blog posts that began in July. Because of this, and because of many other things, 2014 has been a year so divided in black and white that it still amazes me.  

As I made my cheesy “year in review” (like so many others) on Facebook, it only felt right to conclude that: as far as I was concerned, 2014 began in May. As I allow my fingers to roll over my keyboard with flowing thoughts, I can’t help realize that the first several months of 2014, however, were vital and necessary for the greatness that was to follow. Light cannot come without darkness. Breakthroughs don’t often come without turbulence, and happiness doesn’t come without first realizing what isn’t right in your life. So, the first half of 2014 was one of self-discovery, of getting honest with myself, of waging the war in my mind of what I really Wanted and Needed in order to enter a better phase of my life. I’ve spoken before about the vows I made myself in March, of the intentions I set, of the general turbulence of my own emotions. Although, thinking back, the first half of the year was truly an emotional struggle, there is no way I cannot be immensely grateful for it. Timing was everything, and I couldn’t be happier with how the wheel of time, and my own resolve and determination, unfolded my new life. It was all necessary. 

When the flower blossomed, it was all the more sweet and reassuring. Getting honest and clear with myself was such a blessing. Although I would have gladly gone without the immense heartache, it was all part of the process. New love has been such an eye-opening, warm, fuzzy, fulfilling change. If any more gratitude filled my heart, it might explode. There was plenty of cleansing, clearing, and healing of relationships in general this second half of the year; all of which have made this year all the more magnificent. 

Conclusion? 2014 was undoubtedly one of the greatest years of my life—even if the “great” part was felt mid-year. It has also been, undoubtedly, one of the hardest years of my life on an emotional level, and in relationships that extend beyond my love life. I learned a lot about myself, about what I wanted, about what I didn’t want; about what Made me Happy, and what made me not so happy; about what was blocking my personal growth, and about how to heal myself; about what was going wrong, and what was going right. I also learned a lot about Love; in various relationships and various forms, about not settling, and about being Deserving and Worthy of good things.

I look forward to emptying my “Jar of Happiness” once the clocks turn over into a brand new year as well; but that will be a separate post as it was the year before. For now, I will say that each year is a gift, filled with profound opportunities for growth and enlightenment. If there was one lesson that was most significant this year, it would be to Listen to your Heart. And I mean truly truly listen. The Heart Knows. Be honest with yourself, believe you are worth Happiness and Goodness, and good things will surely follow. 

Myself? I am extremely excited for 2015—and this year it’s not because I want the last year to end, but because I feel so blissful in my current state of affairs that it excites me of what’s to follow. 

So, here I am wishing you all a very Happy (and safe!) New Year’s Eve and a brilliant best New Year! 

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{life reflections} Yoga and Healing

p.s. This was written on Thursday, for the date reference… not that it matters. ;)

As I sit here sipping on a rather blissful blueberry hemp smoothie on the deck of Sweet Cherubim, sweat still dripping down my spine, and hair still wet from the shower after my first Bikram Yoga class (think an intense 90 minutes of yoga in a 40 degree room), I can't help reflect on this immense shift in my life. To say that I have learned a lot about myself this past month would be a huge understatement. To say that I have entered an immensely healing period in my life with profound opportunity would also be highly under stated. Life itself is a healing journey, but to what I am referring is this new chapter of deep conscious healing I have recently begun, really tackling personal issues and past traumas to reach a better state of "enlightenment" and happiness in my life.  

These sorts of drastic life changes and challenges are not particularly new to me, but they always strike me all the same as incredibly profound, filled to the brim with lessons and opportunities to grow and discover new parts of myself. Through all my turmoils, I have definitely learned to embrace change, to seek the positive in any given situation. This process allows us to be more adaptable, allows us to grow and learn, allows the waves of turmoil to wash on by instead of getting stuck. 

Now, it's easy to dismiss things, to play things down when we start to compare our lives to others, or for an outsider looking in. Perhaps you are sat there thinking to yourself, but my life is incredibly difficult, for there is This and That going on, and This that needs to be done, and That which needs fixing, and This person is giving me grief. Well, this is no different than my world (or a lot of people's worlds), and I don't believe in making our current (or old) circumstances our excuses or clutches to negativity. At any given moment we have the opportunity to turn a situation into something that enriches our lives, to empower our beings, or we can allow it to cripple us. This is a basic, hard, blunt lesson I have learned through the tornado of my life. Attitude is everything. Having an Attitude of Gratitude is even more advantageous. 

I think--no, I know--that my attitude to any given situation has helped me through the negativity, through the bumps, through the sticky parts that weigh me down. I know that my gratitude has brought me more things to be thankful for, as well as deep, heart-warming gifts. The truth is, now that I sit here and reflect, that two of my happiest times in my life have also been during the most tumultuous. I don't mean like little bumps in the road, I mean a wrecking storm intent on destroying my inner and outer life; I mean absolute chaos; I mean the sorts of problems and challenges that bring you to tears and make you question why the Universe can be so cruel; I mean… you get the idea. However, through this emotional tornado, the brightest lights have shined. Perhaps it is because I look for things to be grateful for (Law of Attraction 101), or perhaps because I choose to see the positive, I therefore welcome the good to reenter my life. Good things come to me. Not because they land on my lap without effort, but because I choose to see them, embrace them, and challenge them to make me a better person. I actively participate in my happiness, in my life, and I encourage you to do the same with your own life--it is the only way you will grow and change for the better and create a place of happiness for yourself. 

So, yes, I am in a state of healing. I believe that was the point of today's "inspirational" post…  

Bikram Yoga

It amazes me that once we welcome healing into our lives how the opportunities are presented to us. Yesterday I was sat outside Sweet Cherubim (I just love Commercial Drive in Vancouver, and I love this little vegetarian/vegan place!), writing out a blog post, and a lovely gentleman complimented my tattoos and handed me a card for the Bikram Yoga studio directly above. The card was for a free yoga class. Ironically (actually, more like manifestation) I have been wanting to do a yoga class again for a while, and I have always been intrigued by hot yoga and have wanted to give it a try. The opportunity was perfect. So, the next day (today) I checked the schedule and headed over. I won't lie, I was slightly intimidated. Ninety minutes of intense yoga in a 40 degree room, sweating out toxins (you can burn a whopping 945 calories in this class!!). What I didn't expect (for some strange reason) was the healing that came from this class. There is something about being pushed to your limits, testing your perseverance, and enduring against the odds that will really teach you something about yourself. This class, this experience, was exactly what I needed in this healing journey I have been currently immersed in. I don't think I have ever sweated this much in my life. I don't think I have ever been tested this intensely to my physical and mental limits at the same time. There was a point I thought I might pass out, a point I thought I was going to puke, and a point I didn't think I could go on. If it hadn't been for the warm-hearted instructor at the beginning of the class telling me that these things were normal, I might not have endured. But, I pushed through, took a short breather, and jumped back in, pushing through the dizzy spills and nausea, focussing on breathing, and committing myself to the entire practice. Oh did it ever test me. But it was incredibly empowering, and incredibly rewarding. Feeling the blood circulate, the energy rushing, the toxins dripping out in sweat. Wow! It is a rewarding feeling when you push through something so challenging and feel rejuvenated afterwards. I'm not sure I can quite describe the feeling, but it was certainly healing, and profoundly rewarding. Mind over matter is a powerful thing, and a tool that can take us many places in life when we don't think we can endure. It proves we can do anything, proves we can push through anything. We all have that power within us. 

We all have the power to heal. We all have that power embedded into our DNA, embedded into our bodies, embedded into our minds; we just require the courage and perseverance to do so. But we should never underestimate our inner power. Ever. I encourage you to find yours, to follow it passionately, and to welcome the healing into your life. It may be a rough road, it may challenge you, but the end result is worth it all, and it will make you that much stronger, and that much more prepared for the next challenge in your life.

As always, so much love to you all!  

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{life reflections} A Slap in the Face: A Reminder of Happiness

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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A Slap in the Face: A Reminder of Happiness

Who is familiar with that moment when a certain realization attempts to slap you across the face? While I've had many moments like this, one in particular struck me again recently. In being honest, this little funk I've been in has been a rather tedious and lingering ordeal, one which I have been struggling with daily. Some days I feel like I must be bipolar: sparking from happiness to anger to tears in a matter of fleeting moments. One couldn't guess when the tempest would strike next. But then, I remember that I am cleansing, and that finally (several years later) all the excess estrogen has been attempting to leave my body after five years of being on the birth control pill. I also remember that the emotional roller coaster has been doing a few maniacal twists as of late--probably to keep me on my feet ;). And so, life simply has its funks and it is best not to beat oneself up over such things. We are, after all, all human, and happiness doesn't always come so easily. 

And then I was slapped across the face. I don't remember how it happened, what prompted it, or why exactly in that moment it sprang up from that inner part of my mind to give me a good talking to, but it did. That slap reminded me that my happiness depends on Me, and Me alone. I am in control of my own life, I am responsible for my own state of mind. Sure, it's not always a cake walk, and sometimes things really test your ability to simply "be positive". I mean really test you. For instance, every time over the past little while that I have had a moment of absolute happy bliss, it seems to be snatched out from under me like some cruel joke. I blame everything outside of myself for that bliss being snatched away from me. Because it's easy to pass the blame, especially when one is struggling with their own inner demons within life. But then there's that slap. That slap that reminds me that I am responsible for my own happiness. In seeing this, I have to remember--and I mean really drill it into my mind again--that I not the circumstances, people, or events around me can take my smile away. Sure, things will test you (and, again, sometimes really test you) but in the end, You are still responsible for allowing these things to ruin your day--and your life. It's a harsh reality at times, especially if we are caught in a state of helplessness within our own deteriorating self-appreciation. It's like one more thing to taunt us, to tell us we're not good enough because we can't Just Be Happy. Oh cruel world! But, when being honest, and if we can really take a step back then we can also realize that this mentality only further traps us into the web of self-helplessness and the "poor me" attitude that spirals so easily out of control. Because we refuse to accept that We are in control--at least, we Can be. 

Again, I'm not saying it's an easy walk in the park. Sometimes it is, most certainly, but other times it really feels like you have to fight tooth and nail to climb back to the top of the happiness ladder. And once we are at the top for a few fleeting moments, sometimes the foundation is still weak and so we topple quite easily down again. And this is another cycle that is so easy to start feeling helpless in, to start beating yourself up for, or cursing life for being so cruel. It's the self-perpetuating cycle of self-rejection, of self-loathing, or lack of self-appreciation. This is why I still hold strong to the belief system that happiness must must must start with You. Once you start feeling Good about YourSelf, then you can start to stabilize your ladder to happiness and the journey, while still bumpy, can be much easier and more manageable. 

Life truly Is a beautiful, wondrous gift, and to see it as a cruel place there to tear us down or laugh at us doesn't serve you. Life is not cruel, only our mentalities towards it are. These mentalities are built over time, burdened by life events and tribulations to solidify the feeling; but all the beauty in life can also serve as your tools to change your perspective. Once the perspective starts its building then the path to happiness can truly be paved. And that path is most easily paved by gratitude: gratitude for the small things, the big things, the people around you, the events around you, the material things, the weather, a roof over your head, anything and everything, but most importantly, gratitude for Your Self.  

So, allow a little slap to cross your face every so often. Let the lessons remind you to have the courage to empower yourself, to remind yourself that You Are Strong enough to overcome anything. Put yourself in control, truly and fully empower yourself and replace any negative thoughts with the words "I Can!". Love Yourself. Encourage yourself. Remind yourself that you Deserve to be happy, that you Deserve Good Things. Healing takes time, but more than that, healing takes Persistence. Do what you must for yourself every single day, by doing this you can move yourself away from the "poor me" helpless mentality and start to write a beautiful life for yourself once more. 

Much Love and all the Happiness in the world to you and your beautiful sparking soul! 

xo

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{life reflections} Being a Woman! + Emotions & Health

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Being a Woman! + Emotions & Health

It's tough being a woman. It's also intensely magical and amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. My husband has asked me before, on days where I'm clutching my stomach with cramps of death (of course he waits until they subside before asking) if I would not trade all that to be a man. I wouldn't. It's not because I don't like men or don't find them deeply fascinating as well, it's just that I love being a woman. Being a woman is such an opening experience, as if we can feel more deeply and wildly and enter depths and bonds amongst fellow women that perhaps men don't get to enjoy. I just love the feminine energy. There's something magical about it; like free gypsy souls, empowered goddesses, and/or soulful fairies. 

I saw this meme on Facebook yesterday (see below) and it made me giggle because I've been talking about similar things with other women in my life a lot at the moment to which the image made me relate. For instance, I keep describing myself as trying to "get my fire back", and we as women in general tend to like using these whimsical metaphors to describe our energies and feelings and passions that can't be put so bluntly into "logical terms." Sometimes it's as if women have their own dialogue--and studies have down that in some ways we do because of the way our brains are wired. These are things that if you tried to explain to (most) men, you'd probably get an arched eyebrow and a look to suggest you might have lost your marbles. "You're fire back??" But… women get it. They just get it. You'd only need to half explain yourself and women would just get it. "Ah, yes, your fire back! Of course!"

The experience of being a woman is one I wouldn't trade for anything. Being a woman is fun, and we are strong, compassionate, fiery beings that have so much to offer each other and the world around us. So, I'd take cramps of death any day and still be a woman. 

The truth is that our society is very uncompassionate and detached when it comes to women's health and women's bodies. I realize this more and more as I dive deeper into learning about my own body, about our cycles, hormones, and the emotions that Directly affect our health. And yet we're meant to believe that our health has nothing to do with our emotions. This is another topic that has been reoccurring lately: Emotions and Health--but I'll get to that when I'm done talking about the awesomeness and trials of being a woman. 

Being a woman should actually be a lot easier than it is. Every part of it! But society has suppressed women for centuries. Feminist talk? Absolutely! How about we stop shying away from being "feminists" because every single damn person on this planet should be a feminist! Feminism doesn't mean hating men, it means equality. I also feel that it is much more than that, I feel like it's about getting back in touch with our roots, with each other, and with men as well. Becoming open to Love in all areas of life. Our attitudes towards men has developed into one of tension and separation. Separation is everything to do with feminism (in my opinion) because women have been pitted against one another creating separation amongst our own gender and the opposite gender--leaving us feeling utterly alone for much of our lives. I think it's so eye-opening and important to realize this so that women can stop being so catty towards one another and finally love and support one another instead. You'd have to be pretty blind not to have noticed, or not to have felt, (once you're paying attention) the level of cattiness women have towards one another--feelings of jealousy, envy, and all around bitchiness. It's absolutely mad that women should be this way! But it's absolutely intentional, because it came with the territory of suppressing women all that time ago. What better way than to pit women against one another? Now, feminism has continued because of our society, because of the mentalities of both men And women. We can no longer blame it on the opposite gender, as many men are also feminists, and most women are a part of continued suppression (simply because it's embedded in our society). 

I've been reading Christiane Northrup's book "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdoms" and it is absolutely fascinating and every woman should read it! I bring this book up because reading it is like one long moment of "Wow! That is so accurate! I wish I'd realized this sooner!" However, one bit in there really stuck out to me that I wanted to share: that women are constantly apologizing for their very existence! It is so so true, and on such a deeply embedded subconscious level that it really becomes no surprise women still face such oppression. The mentalities of our society keep women in check; we grow up apologizing for being here, we grow up feeling badly about our bodies, about our appearance, about our periods and hormones, and everything else imaginable. We have a constant feeling of never being good enough. It's no wonder we have PMS, hormone imbalances, health problems and relationship drama. If we are constantly apologizing for our very existence how can we possibly hope to feel love, feel good about ourselves, and thrive and flourish as the fullest awesomest versions of ourselves? 

Back to emotions and health… when women are constantly apologizing for their very existence, then that creates some awful emotions towards our bodies, minds, and souls, and thus, health problems result. The connection is absolutely undeniable (between emotions and health) but it is something never taught in the medical field or in society. This connection makes the issues of PMS and other women-related health problems no surprise at all--because we're practically taught that our bodies are foreign objects that give us pain and bleeding every month and that this is simply something we must accept and deal with. We don't! If we start to fix the way we Feel about our bodies and ourselves then we start to see improvement within our health and all of those PMS syndromes can finally go away. Of course, this is such a deep and complicated issue, which is why I recommend picking up Christiane Northrup's book, because this woman is brilliant and highly educated and I feel as if she could help every single woman on this planet with her information and insights and intellect. 

My husband also picked up this amazing book the other day that has this chart connecting certain body parts to the emotional significance. Going down this chart, we were both blown away by the accuracy. Completely and utterly blown away! I wish someone had made me realize all of this sooner. My health has had it's turbulences forever now, but it makes so much more sense knowing that it all began (and continues) from emotional blocks. I feel much better knowing now that if I want my health to improve then it's time to dive deep emotionally. 

As it happens, I had a large breakthrough a while back, which has only been more and more solidified by all these new insights. I feel very fortunate to know these things now, which is why I felt like rambling about such subjects today. I mean, what amazing things to know and understand that we have not been told about?! The truth is that a lot of my time and thoughts have been taken up on these subjects at the moment (women's issues, emotional trauma and health). But, for today, that's all from me. 

I wish you all the courage in the world to tackle your own emotional blocks and to get your own health to all that it should and deserves to be!  

   

So Much Love from my heart and soul to yours!     

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{life reflections}

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Today I feel good. Life feels pretty fantastic. My tummy has been up and down though, so I've been trying to do a process of elimination to figure out what I've been eating that's affecting it. It's hard to figure out sometimes, but when you know how good you can feel you strive to get back to that. Anyway, that's about my only complaint right now, otherwise I've been feeling pretty blissful. 

I feel as if I've found a good balance between work and play. I'm finally feeling good about money again and, low and behold, it's flowing ever so fluently at the moment. Which brings me to today's mention of the Law of Attraction. When it works, it really works! When you feel good about something and secure about something and abundance is rolling in, it's easy to attract more. Likewise, it's also really easy to spiral at the first sign of doubt. I think that's why we experience so many wide ups and downs in life and in varying aspects of our lives. But it's important to remember and try to get a grasp of the Law of Attraction, because it really does spiral very easily either direction--either with abundance or with loss. Gratitude helps a lot, but more than that, feeling good in general is the most important part. When you start to feel good--just overall happy, blissful, satisfied--then that's when everything else starts to flow more fluently. Piece of cake right? Sometimes. Other times, I think we all know how hard it can be to stay on track and to not get down. But there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and things work out in the end. So what's to complain about? Maybe there are things, maybe life is pretty easy for you, but either way, there are always always always things to be grateful for and ways of seeing the positive. Even if it takes a little more effort, feeling Good if achievable. Anyways, that's my spiel on the Law of Attraction today, because it never ceases to blow my mind. Like magic! 

Tralala.

I have been busiest writing and drawing and being a little introverted geek. Putting out this book is exciting to me, just putting out this creative project in general is exciting to me. It's really not like anything else I do. In case this is the first time you're hearing about it, this book is a fantasy, anime/manga-inspired, tale that I've titled "Everwake." The story is dark and twisted and whimsica,l and full of emotions, in-depth characters, and all sorts of other fun things that make a story exciting. I used to write stories all the time in my teenage years but that sadly stopped at the end of high school because I felt it was too "geeky"… ah the fun (not) of not being yourself at that age. Regardless, I started writing again a couple years ago, and drawing (obviously) which brought this story about. I'm already on Book 3! I can't even believe it. The ideas and story have just been flowing so smoothly and easily. I've also been doing a drawing every day to keep inspired and perfect my sketching. I can't wait to get my Cintiq (wacom tablet that will allow me to draw out more professional final artwork), so that I can start releasing more artwork for the book. I haven't decided exactly how I'm publishing, but I do know there will be lots of artwork and even some comic bits to toss along with the book. I just can't not place art with it. If I felt that I could then I would do the entire thing as a manga comic book, but I do love the writing aspect, the novel aspect, of the story, so I think combining the two will be something new and fun. So, yes, that's been taking up a lot of my time and I'm loving every second of it.
(You can check out the progress of that on my deviantart (click) since I won't be plaguing this page with too much news on that).

What else is new? 

Summer is winding down but the fun certainly hasn't stopped, and neither has the sunshine. We've had some crazy rain and thunderstorms, but then the sun comes back out and we can play and hike and swim and camp and enjoy the summer life. I may say this a lot, but I feel so blessed to live where I do. I look out my front windows and I'm staring out at epic mountains, a sparkling lake, and ospreys that soar above the treeline, occasionally swooping down to catch a fish or fly away from (or gang up on) the eagle that also lives around here. Nature is supreme, it's hard not to breathe it all in and be grateful to be where I am. Moving away from the concrete jungle that was Edmonton was the best decision I ever made. And, it's funny, because I never thought I could live in a small town again; too small, not enough to do, not enough opportunities, blah blah blah. Excuses. I can't stand big cities anymore. They're overwhelming whenever I have to spend too much time in them. Fun to visit sometimes, but not to live. All the things I thought I would be missing I didn't, and even if I did, those things fail in comparison to what I get living where I do. 

So, yeah, life is good. ;) And I've finally gotten around to writing another of these posts, it's been a while! 

Hope you are all smiling and singing and dancing, and being yourselves, and making the most of your day and week and life! I'm off for a saturday morning breakfast with my two siblings. 

Create a Nice Day! 

Much Love!    

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☺ You Deserve to Be Happy! ☺

I have some good news for you: You Deserve to Be Happy! Yes, You! 

The bad (and sad) news is that most of us don't actually believe we deserve to be happy.

Our lack of this good feeling of deserving to be happy stops us from living life to it's fullest potential. When we feel like we don't deserve to be happy, we place barriers around ourselves that stop the good things from coming in. It makes us cause our relationships and any possible good things that do manage to sneak through to fall apart rather instantly. We start to look for things to go wrong, seeking them out, drawing them out, making them magically appear out of nowhere. It makes us pick fights and get into disagreements with the people we care about. It makes us feel depressed. It keeps us trapped in this terrible bubble that circles over and over until we can actually learn to love ourselves and accept that we do indeed deserve to be happy. 

The reason that most of us don't believe we deserve to be happy is thanks to our insecurities and our general lack of liking and loving ourselves. Society teaches us that to love ourselves is a show of vanity, of being conceded, and this is a bad attitude that needs to halt. Love starts with yourself, you must must must love yourself in order to be happy and in order to love the people and things around you. So, you don't just deserve to be happy, you also deeply greatly do deserve to be loved.

Happiness and love are really one in the same, and both of them start with You. You can't expect to have an abundance, or much at all, of either of these wonderful things if you can't work on yourself and place yourself into a mentality and openness to let them in. 

I don't care what you have been through in your life, I don't care what shitty circumstances might be going on around you, I don't care how badly another person has made you feel about yourself, because, you know what? You are awesome! Despite anything that has happened or will happen in your life, you are awesome! Yes, you! And the more that you believe that, the more you will love life, love yourself, and welcome goods things into your life. You will become an inspiration to those around you and you can fill others up with that same joy because that energy will become so contagious and spill over onto others.  

[photo courtesy: JessicaRoman]

The feeling of not deserving to be happy also comes from being entirely too hard on ourselves for past mistakes and for things that were quite often out of our control, but that we have taken the blame deeply upon ourselves. 

The past is the past, you can't change anything that happened, and the more you try to deny that the longer you will remain in this state of lovelessness. Things happen. To everyone! Taking on the blame doesn't change anything. Carrying that blame around with you will only serve as the chains to your depression and it makes things worse for the ones you love as well. If you want to help others, if you want to help yourself, then choose to be happy, and you do that by making changes and letting go of the past.    

What you need to realize is that almost everyone has gone through some shitty things in their lives. Everyone has done things that they regret, things that they don't feel so good about, things that they deem as "awful" and "unforgivable." So is that where we should stop? Just sit there and wallow in that negativity and just accept that we've done some shitty things, that "god" or the universe, or some holy power has deemed us unfixeable? Or, is it not better to get back up and try again? If you don't like who you are, change it! You get to choose who you are. You get to choose how you are going to live your life. You get to choose whether or not good things can enter your life or not. 

You deserve happiness. Maybe, sometimes life makes you feel like you don't. Maybe sometimes your headspace makes you feel like a bad person, and therefor undeserving of good things. That mentality is the only thing stopping those good things from coming into your life. If you don't open the door, they can't get in! You have to let them in! The door is your bad attitude, so learn to love yourself and then you'll be able to open the door again. Happiness IS within your reach. 

Okay, so maybe it's not as easy as waving a magic wand and going, "Tadaaaa! I love myself! I deserve happiness! Woot woot!" Because, maybe, you just can't let go of that nagging awful mentality that you simply don't deserve good things and that you're not a good person. I've been there, so I know the feeling. Here's the thing; I used to hate myself, I mean utterly despise myself. I was a suicidal, depressed, self-loathing mess for a long portion of my life. You know what changed? I woke up. I started working on myself every single day. I started getting help, reading books, and looking at myself differently. I realized that I could be a person that I was proud of and liked--and loved.  

If you don't feel good about yourself then that's something you must work on everyday. And I mean every day! Every day until life gets easier and you fall in love with your wonderful self (and even after that) you should be doing gratitude practices for yourself. A simple and amazing practice that I still do when life feels rough, and when I may not be feeling so good about myself, is this… get a pen and paper (or I highly recommend having a Happy Diary) and write down a list of all the things you love about yourself. Write down small things, big things, things that you want to be and write them down as if that's who you are already. Write and write until you feel that energy shift within yourself and you genuinely feel better about yourself. Again, you Do get to choose who you are, and if you want to change then this is a good practice to become the greatest version of yourself. Do this practice every morning and every night, or at the very least, once a day. 

You don't have to be miserable forever. You don't have to hate yourself. You have such amazing wonderful unlimited potential inside of yourself and your lack of self love is holding you back from living your life to the fullest and being the amazing person that, deep down inside, you always truly are. It's time to let go of those restricting thoughts and allow that wonderful person inside of yourself to come out and play and smile and be happy.  

So, one more time: You Deserve to Be Happy! 

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{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

I feel as if I've been talking a lot lately about the roller coaster of life; the ups and downs that can feel so extreme and so sporadic, as if the little gentle stream of life has now turned into a gushing tumbling river, plunging under and popping us high high back to the top. Maybe there's something in the air, it just seems like a lot of people I know, and myself included, have been experiencing much higher turbulence than usual. I would also like to think this has something to do with the shift of awakening within so many of us--so many people "waking up." It is a double-sided blessing: when we work on ourselves we allow ourselves to experience and draw out issues and problems that may have been rather deeply buried, therefore things may feel worse before they get better because we need to work through those issues before we can move forwards to the space of walking on rainbows while it sprinkles gumdrops. 

Ah life. It truly truly truly is a beautiful thing, it's just such a shame that we've been conditioned to believe that life is suffering, that life is hard work, that life sucks. Think about how many brain patterns we have formed during our upbringing to make us feel badly about ourselves, to make us feel that life is no fun, to make us believe that materialism and money are the only forms of happiness, to make us believe that our happiness depends on things outside of ourselves, and to make us believe that happiness is a farfetched myth that we could never achieve. 

When things get tough I think it's important to reflect on how far you've come. See, sometimes it may feel as if we haven't changed, as if we haven't gotten any happier in our lives, but this is when it's good to look back at where you were when you started. For me, I used to cut, I had plenty of suicidal thoughts, and being sad was just a daily part of my life. If I look at my life now, even when I have bad days, or moments of frustration where I don't feel as if I've gotten anywhere, it's pretty easy to see that I have. I no longer cut, I am no longer "depressed," I just have moments of relapse and real human emotions. Feeling bad, sad, down, frustrated, and so forth, aren't signs that you haven't gotten anywhere or that you're not, at the core of you, happy, it's just a reminder that we are all still human and we all still feel. Feeling is great, it's just our attachment to not letting go of negative emotions that is a problem. That, and that our minds tend to over-think things and create problems that aren't even there. We are all human, we are allowed to feel, we should feel. Ups and downs are a part of life, our holding onto the ups and downs are the part that we need to adjust so that the flow of life is much smoother and enjoyable. Let emotions flow and then let them go. 

Whenever in doubt, just think about how far you've come. Remind yourself that you're human and that life will always have ups and downs. Learn to enjoy the ride. Make the most of every situation and of ever circumstance or opportunity. Try to think positive, try to work on yourself. And don't beat yourself up along the way. Just do your best! And remember to smile. ;) 

I want to talk about two things this week in greater depths: the emotional guidance system; and first steps to working through depression. Two topics that I've been thinking a lot about lately that I have a lot I'd like to say and share. 

Our life experiences are gifts that we can share with others and that goodness has the domino effect of spreading to others. It's truly a wonderful thing. If you've learned something about life that makes things easier than share it with friends and family or a stranger. Spread the goodness because if it works for them then they too will pass on that knowledge to those around them. If people don't take your advice then at least you tried, no harm done. 

Keep smiling, trying, and loving life. And remember; JUST DO YOUR BEST! 

^_^ Much Love! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

It's been a very very busy couple weeks! I always feel like I'm ahead with work when it comes to markets, that I have lots of time. And then I blink. And the market season is here. So I've been rushing around getting ready… and feeling rather overwhelmed. Stress seems to come in spurts for me, almost always to do with work one way or another; deadlines or money. They are difficult issues to work around and feel good about sometimes, but they are things I practice more and more, especially when you know how the Law of Attraction works and how if you feel as if you don't have enough time or enough money then you won't. So I've been telling myself every day; there is no need to stress; I have more than enough money, I have more than enough time, everything will get done and everything will be fine. It's true. Things always have a way of working out, so I need to keep that in mind during those times when I feel overwhelmed. Ironically, I stumbled upon one of my older posts about "learning to not get overwhelmed." How appropriate. Thank you Universe. 

Well, I'm off to actually take a day off and relax and lay in the sunshine for a while. Today is mine and Cory's 9 year anniversary. Nine years! That's crazy! So I'm going to spend the day with him and then later today is my bestie's birthday party so should be a super awesome day--and a nice relief from the chaos of my current mind. It's a dress-up party too, how fun is that?! 

Hope you're all having a lovely day and enjoying life and remember to smile even when you feel stressed or down. Oh the power of a smile or a laugh. Mood transforming! :) 

Love you all! Sending you happy positive energy and a skip to your step!  

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

Has it ever been a busy life lately! I can hardly keep up with orders (in a good way ^_^) while also trying to juggle getting ready for this year's market season! Sometimes being self-employed requires more discipline than I seem to have. The free spirit in me perhaps. I think I just maintain the faith that everything works out--because it always does. Reminding myself that there is always enough time for everything that I want to do helps too. When you tell yourself you have enough time then the Universe magically rearranges itself so that there is. Magical! I love the Law of Attraction. I still don't understand how people refuse to follow it sometimes. I mean, I get that it's hard to wrap your mind around at first, but what's the harm in believing it? Especially because it Does work. Granted things don't always happen when we try to manifest them, but there's always a reason, whether it be our own unwillingness to believe or because we're forgetting to immerse ourselves in the whole "make-believe" of things already Being so that they actually Are. If you haven't read "The Secret" or don't know much about the Law of Attraction, I've probably lost you. I'll just skip ahead to some other random thoughts for the day, but I wanted to slur out some Law of Attraction stuff first because, well, that's where my ramble was taking me today. 

I've been busy. That's where I was right? 

Work is fantastic. I love my job! I need to manifest a little extra time to make sure I'm blogging more though too--I've forgotten a few posts last week (you may or may not have noticed) so I'm trying to be more on it. Especially because there are still articles that I want to take some time to write up and don't want to rush through. I also want to try and blog more about things you all want. And I don't know what you want or don't want unless you tell me. ;) I love getting feedback, good or bad, because it points me in the right direction and gives me material for improvement. That being said, this is still my blog and so I'll still be writing about whatever the hell resonates with my heart. ;) 

Life has been busy. Good busy. There is always room for friends and laughs and relaxing. I've been taking part in the 30x30 David Suzuki Challenge as well this month; spending at least 30 minutes outside for 30 days. I'm usually outside for much longer than 30 minutes a day, but there are some days when I'm working hard (and since I work from home) when it seems like an effort to squeeze in that 30 minutes. I'm glad I'm doing it though because it is that push on such days. It's so important to be outside. It's so important to spend outside in the grass or dirt barefoot as well. We are so filled with positive ions (those are the bad ones) from all the electronics around us and from always wearing shoes and being in buildings, that those positive ions don't actually have an exit and so the negative ions can't replenish. When we are barefoot outside then we are grounding ourselves and therefor are able to release those ions. It's good. It's important. And we don't do it enough. You feel instantly better. If you are depressed or if you have a headache or don't feel well, just spend time outside barefoot and you'll better in no time. For real. Like magic! But not… because it's just the way ions are. So my 30x30 challenge has been just as much about being barefoot and grounded as it as been being outside. I love it and I will definitely implement this into my life. Of course it's easier in the warmer months, but at least it's a good place to start. 

People are funny. That's where I'm going next today. Emotions, conflicts, and relationships become so entertained, it's hard to tell what you're doing sometimes--or what others are doing for that matter. It's important not to over think things, not to create problems that don't exist. It's the whole reason I wrote the "Tips to Self Care" post because I felt it was an important post to write this week. Negative emotions are plagues to our bodies and minds. Feelings like jealousy, envy, insecurity, anger, all those things, they just don't really have a place in your life. Not a beneficial one anyway. Sadness and anger are good passing waves, they are reactions and feelings from the heart. Things like insecurities, jealousy, and envy are created from the Mind. They do not serve you so it is important to unlearn them. Plus the more you focus on those feelings the more you'll attract things that will make you feel them again (a little more Law of Attraction for you). 

Life is beautiful, it is grand, it is full of possibilities, opportunities, and magnificent relationships, but you'll never find those wonderful things if you close yourself off from them.   

That's all from me today, I'm off to relax with some tea and take a day to write and draw and work on my Book. :) Hope you're all having a fantastic long weekend and making the most of what's around you and filling yourself up with gratitude! 

Much Love! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

Happy-get-on-track week is going well, I am happy to say! (harhar) I know last week's post may have been a bit of a downer, but as I always say, life is just like that sometimes. Regardless, I am feeling myself again. Sometimes getting back on track truly is only as hard as we make it. 

I've written up a post before on all the things I did originally to get back on track so I'm not going to repeat it all now. However, remembering that Happiness is in my own hands was one of the most helpful things for me this week. When you're in a slump it's easy to stay there because we often wake up feeling not so upidy-awesome and because we don't fix that right when we wake up, the spiral happens. I want to write a full "list" this week of more useful tips, since these "life reflections" posts aren't generally supposed to take over my "Inspirational" posts with all the life advice and help. So, let's just say that I'm back on track, that I forced myself to smile every single day. I'd wake up in the morning, telling myself "I love my life" with a great big silly grin, and start saying in my head all the things that I am grateful for as I entered my morning. I swear to you, this alone helps tremendously. Tremendously!!! 

That aside, I am so very grateful for the amazing friends and family I have in my life. I feel so blessed and loved and grateful. And I can't tell you how much I appreciated how many of you wrote me as well wishing me better and if that I needed anything you were there for me. So truly truly touched and grateful to you amazing wonderful lovely friends! I love you! And I think it goes without saying that I am always here for you too if ever you need me. xoxo

On Saturday I got to celebrate my good friend's birthday and housewarming, it was an epic night filled with so much ridiculousness and laughs and memories. I haven't actually drank since New Year's Eve, so it was fun getting even sillier and louder than I usually am. ;) We also tried to watch the meteor shower on Monday with a few friends while we had a bonfire, but the moon was so bright we didn't see any (and I'm sure staring at the fire instead of the sky didn't help either).

So blessed for my friends. I honestly don't have many in real life. I just don't really see the point in having a bazillion friends that you're not even close with just for a popularity contest. This isn't high school anymore. That's what I see a lot in this small town anyway, and I'm sure it's the same elsewhere. I don't get it. Why not put the time and effort instead towards working on the close relationships you do have instead of spreading yourself too thin? I just see so many of the artificial friendships of these big groups of insecure people that cling together and feed their own insecurities by talking badly about one another behind each other's backs. How is that helpful? How is that real friendship? True friends are there for each other, support one another, lift each other up when they're down. They don't Kick them down! 

So, anyways, I don't have that many friends in real life. I want Real friendships with people I actually have things in common with and have fun with and who support and love me as I do them. I know lots of fun people that I'll hang out at parties with but that's as far as many of them go. I love my close friends. So incredibly much. I love getting the hugs and seeing their smiles, and laughing and adventuring, and going for tea. In case this isn't obvious either, I don't go out partying much. It's not that I don't enjoy it, but I do understand the effect of not only the alcohol, but even going sober with all the staying up late totally messing up sleep patterns and therefor your head and health. Going out tooooo often also exhausts yourself, and where's the fun in that? Maybe it's also because, while it's fun to flail around and be ridiculously silly, I appreciate more of the sober times where you get quality time with the people you enjoy being around and sometimes drinking just feels like the artificial side of things. Again, not that I don't enjoy a good fun flailing night. Hopefully you understand what I mean. Don't get me wrong, I Do go out, and I Do have a ton of fun, I guess I've just sort of learned a bit of balance with that aspect of my life. I never used to party in high school, because I was a loner, I just didn't have much in common with a lot of people there and I really didn't know myself at all so not really a surprise. For the younger readers still in high school, I just want to let you know that life after high school gets better. Immensely better. I hated high school. I love life now. It's liberating and frightening, because when you leave school all of a sudden you're free to form your own opinions and hobbies and interests, where as in school it's very bootcamp and narrow minded--in my humble opinion. So yes, things get better. 

And, yes, I am alllll over the place today. I swear I'm not drinking right now. ;) 

How shall I finish this diary entry?…  

Life is good! Life is grand! Life is Beautiful! Have you noticed everything blossoming?!!! So super exciting. The air smells so sweet with flowers and fresh rain and grass, and everything is so green and vibrant and coming alive. I love spring! It truly truly is such a cleansing season, taking out the old and making room for the new, which is why we have the extreme ups and downs at the moment, so just know that you are heading towards somewhere better. So stay positive. Always stay positive. 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

{life reflections}

. . . . . . . . . . 

{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

It's been an interesting week. Being self-employed means work can come in waves. There are times when you're struggling, and other times when you're so busy you don't know what to do with yourself. Truth is, even when sales are slow, I'm still busy. Maybe I take on too many projects, but it doesn't feel that way, not when these projects are things that I enjoy and live for. And that's what life should be about (aside from the meaning of life, which is to be Happy); chasing your passions. No, wait… not "chasing," Living! Living your passions. Yes, that's right. Okay, so, living your passions is what it's all about, it's what you should be doing, it's how you should be living your life. If you have dreams and aspirations that you've put on hold because of (insert reason here) then maybe it's time to dig those back up and make time to do them again. It's like what I talked about on Thursday about Thriving and not just Surviving; you spend so much time at your job that you Should enjoy it. This brings me to the wisdom I've seen before that if you don't enjoy your job then you're doing something wrong, and that you instead should be doing the job of your dreams instead of making excuses not to be doing so. 

I always wanted to be a writer. That was what I was going to go to University for. I'm glad that I didn't go to University, as it turns out life took me in a few circles anyway before I would get back into writing again. It's not just a hobby for me anymore, it's my way of passing along the lessons that I've learned in life so that I can help others. That was the other thing I wanted to do, was to help people. Both were things I didn't know how to make a career from. They were kind of pushed aside, but not really in a neglecting sort of manner, more of a twists and turns of life sort of manner that simply dropped them from my attention for a while. First I needed to work on myself. You can't do much for others if you're not helping yourself after all. So in my twirling life experiences, I became focussed on health, went vegetarian, went vegan, and wanted to write about it. I started blogging. One thing led to another and this blog has grown and expanded and unravelled into the beautiful place it is today. 

Funny how life does that?

I'm also drawing and writing fiction again, something I dropped when I was about sixteen or seventeen. I love writing. Did I mention that already? I'm not the best writer (although I did receive the Writing 12 award in school when I was a grade below that class), but that's not what I'm about anyways. Like most things in my life, I go with the flow, learn as I practice, and sort of just do my own thing. However that turns out, as long as I'm happy and enjoying myself, then I'm happy with it. I don't understand how people can get so caught up in the technicalities of Everythinggggg. I'm not that sort of person. Never have been. I don't really believe in "one answer" solutions. Life is too complex. Everything is too complex. Maybe that's why I never enjoyed math. 

Do I have a point? Right; Living your Passions. That's what we were talking about right? Or, rather, that I was rambling about. ;) (are smiley faces proper punctuality?) 

So, yes, Live your Passions. Don't get caught up in the hows and whys and technicalities. Focus on your passions and they will lead the way to your dreams one way or another. I always say, go with the flow instead of resisting things. Going with the flow is going with the current and it will bring you to wherever it is that you want to go. I promise. Promise promise. 

Well, that's my ramble for today. My friend got tattooed the other day and it has me desperately wanting to get tattooed again. I would start rambling about that but then you'd never leave my blog and I'm sure you have things to do and people to make smile, so I won't keep you any longer. ;) 

But I will leave you with a few articles I want to write about this week (that I will hopefully get to): Tattoo Standards; and Being Self Employed. Because I get quite a few questions about both these subjects. 

Anyway, let me know if there are other subjects you would love to see me write about (not that I don't already have a bizzilion ideas). And let me know about your lovely week, what you've been up to, your own "life reflections" (you can leave links to your own posts if you'd like, or just leave a rambling comment like me ;)). 

Much Love always always! xoxo

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.