Friday, July 4, 2014

☺ Where'd the Posts Go?! *Update!* ☺

The ReLove blogs have been sorely neglected, this I apologize for. Sorry, and not sorry; not out of being self-important, but out of the feeling that apologies aren't required for many things in life in which we feel the need to apologize for--but I'll get to that in another post as I am already getting off topic (that was fast!). 
Where did I go? Why so quiet? Where are the positive posts and other fun stuff you're used to seeing here? 
Well. My life sort of fell on its head the last couple of weeks (yes, apparently my life has a head). Actually, when being honest, my life sort of fell on its head a couple of years back, or at least that's when the spiral commenced. Long story short, my husband and I are separating. Before you break out the box of tissues and the sad violin, a couple of things I'd like to note on this…  
1. I am not looking for sympathy; nor do I feel this is a place where people need to say "sorry to hear that" which seems to be the most common response to people finding out. 
2. This is a Good thing. While my partner is an amazing individual and I am not leaving him out of anything against his person (he really is an amazing person with so much to offer the world and others), the decision was based off a need for myself and my own (and I do believe his) personal growth and journey. We grew apart. By association, our relationship became neglected and I fell out of love. Simple as that. Which is not so simple, but that's it described in its most basic form, without all the details and mess and emotions and road that led to all of this. I will always love and care about my husband, but our lives were taking separate paths and we were perhaps not as compatible as we had thought to be. People change. Life Changes. It was time for me to be honest with myself (which was gruellingly difficult) and to listen to my heart (which I shut out for so long). While emotions are understandably running high and flailing about, I do feel positive about this decision. It was time for me to rediscover a piece of myself that I lost. And I do feel that I am already rediscovering and exploring these sides of myself. 

Okay, so that being said, the blog, and my work for that matter, are being neglected. Not because I don't want to blog--in fact I feel incredibly inspired through all of this to write, write, write--but because life is changing and complicated right now. I am in the process of moving out, packing, and manifesting my perfect little bungalow. My life is changing immensely. IMMENSELY! I have spent the past ten years with my husband, from the time I was seventeen and still in high school, and so the world is a brand new canvas for me to paint, rediscover and uncover other parts of my soul. 
I am excited. I am enthusiastic. I am positive. And I am guilty as hell for feeling those things, but learning to allow myself to be happy and To feel those positive emotions. I would love to (and will very soon) write a more in-depth post about Allowing Ourselves to Be Happy (in the face of other misery), because through this experience it has been one of the biggest challenges and blocks I have discovered about myself that I have held onto since I was a child; and has been one of the greatest obstacles to moving forwards. 
Sometimes we hold on to guilt as if it will make the other person feel better. It doesn't. Guilt only serves to burn you. And letting go is one of the most rewarding and healing lessons to any hardships we face in life, and especially so in our relationships. 

Life can be strange. Unexpected. But it is also beautiful. I am and always will be a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and that everything falls into place in the end. I know this to be truth through my own experience. I can see the magic still glowing around me and it is certainly inspiring. And so, I invite you to continue this journey with me, as I enter a new chapter of my life and while I share my experiences and lessons in hopes they may serve you or awaken a part of yourself that also may be dormant (as it has in me). We are all here to learn from one another, and I can't say how fortunate I feel to be sharing my journey with so many of you who appreciate my posts. It means the world to me. Thank you.  


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  1. I must say, I am a little sad cuz you two made such a cute couple, but you can't help how you feel, and yes you are right that things change. I am glad you are positive, but I am sure it is bittersweet even though you are happy and positive looking ahead, you are saying goodbye to this journey you had with your husband, and change is hard even if it is a positive change. I wish my marriage ended as nicely as it seems to be for you. How is ur husband taking this and who are the cats going to be with? Anyways, I wish you all the best of luck through this complicated life change. One chapter maybe ending, but another one is soon to begin. Be inspired by all your emotions. You are one awesome person! *hugs*

    1. Of course it is bittersweet, there are plenty of things in life that are bittersweet. But I Feel Good about my decision and am definitely excited about starting this next chapter. It has already started. The amount of healing and self-reflection I've already been doing during this month have been immensely transforming. Of course I will always care about and love my (ex)husband, but we are also both very different people on an emotional level and our lives were heading in different directions. I am optimistic about this path for the both of us, I think it is going to be good for us both. Of course right now it's a little harder on him as this was my decision and not his, but he is handling it all very well--he really is an amazing person for all of that.
      As for the cats… Lyla will be moving with me and Buster will likely stay with Cory. As much as I would love both, they were Our cats, and Buster has always leaned more towards Cory than towards me--and I think it would be nice for Cory to still have his little bud as well. But the nice thing is that we can each cat sit for one another, as we both will likely be making lots of out of town trips this summer.

      While my emotions are certainly on a roller coaster, I do generally feel good and positive. The hardest thing has honestly been that people seem to expect me to be miserable, which has added to my personal block of allowing myself to be happy--getting there though, like I said, this has been very transformational and healing time.

  2. Good luck. It happens to many young couples. Plus you are very attractive. Should not be a problem for you to start many more relationships or one new one. From watching your videos sometimes and your strong creativity here you are definitely one of those free spirits.

  3. I really liked how honest this post was, When one door closes, another one opens.. you just gotta wait patiently!


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