The ReLove Plan.et blogs have been sorely neglected, this I apologize for. Sorry, and not sorry; not out of being self-important, but out of the feeling that apologies aren't required for many things in life in which we feel the need to apologize for--but I'll get to that in another post as I am already getting off topic (that was fast!).
Where did I go? Why so quiet? Where are the positive posts and other fun stuff you're used to seeing here?
Well. My life sort of fell on its head the last couple of weeks (yes, apparently my life has a head). Actually, when being honest, my life sort of fell on its head a couple of years back, or at least that's when the spiral commenced. Long story short, my husband and I are separating. Before you break out the box of tissues and the sad violin, a couple of things I'd like to note on this…
1. I am not looking for sympathy; nor do I feel this is a place where people need to say "sorry to hear that" which seems to be the most common response to people finding out.
2. This is a Good thing. While my partner is an amazing individual and I am not leaving him out of anything against his person (he really is an amazing person with so much to offer the world and others), the decision was based off a need for myself and my own (and I do believe his) personal growth and journey. We grew apart. By association, our relationship became neglected and I fell out of love. Simple as that. Which is not so simple, but that's it described in its most basic form, without all the details and mess and emotions and road that led to all of this. I will always love and care about my husband, but our lives were taking separate paths and we were perhaps not as compatible as we had thought to be. People change. Life Changes. It was time for me to be honest with myself (which was gruellingly difficult) and to listen to my heart (which I shut out for so long). While emotions are understandably running high and flailing about, I do feel positive about this decision. It was time for me to rediscover a piece of myself that I lost. And I do feel that I am already rediscovering and exploring these sides of myself.
Okay, so that being said, the blog, and my work for that matter, are being neglected. Not because I don't want to blog--in fact I feel incredibly inspired through all of this to write, write, write--but because life is changing and complicated right now. I am in the process of moving out, packing, and manifesting my perfect little bungalow. My life is changing immensely. IMMENSELY! I have spent the past ten years with my husband, from the time I was seventeen and still in high school, and so the world is a brand new canvas for me to paint, rediscover and uncover other parts of my soul.
I am excited. I am enthusiastic. I am positive. And I am guilty as hell for feeling those things, but learning to allow myself to be happy and To feel those positive emotions. I would love to (and will very soon) write a more in-depth post about Allowing Ourselves to Be Happy (in the face of other misery), because through this experience it has been one of the biggest challenges and blocks I have discovered about myself that I have held onto since I was a child; and has been one of the greatest obstacles to moving forwards.
Sometimes we hold on to guilt as if it will make the other person feel better. It doesn't. Guilt only serves to burn you. And letting go is one of the most rewarding and healing lessons to any hardships we face in life, and especially so in our relationships.
Life can be strange. Unexpected. But it is also beautiful. I am and always will be a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and that everything falls into place in the end. I know this to be truth through my own experience. I can see the magic still glowing around me and it is certainly inspiring. And so, I invite you to continue this journey with me, as I enter a new chapter of my life and while I share my experiences and lessons in hopes they may serve you or awaken a part of yourself that also may be dormant (as it has in me). We are all here to learn from one another, and I can't say how fortunate I feel to be sharing my journey with so many of you who appreciate my posts. It means the world to me. Thank you.
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