☺ How to Create an Awesome 2015! ☺

 {Kindra Nikole Photography}

*This post was originally posted January 2014, reposting for the 2015 New Year Kick-Off!*

Hello beautiful New Year! 

How exciting! A fresh start, a fresh new page in this book of Life! 

First and foremost, I hope you all have set some awesome intentions for your new year; I hope that you are filled to the brim with positive change in mind, with love, with hope, with the courage to walk the path of your dreams! With this in mind, I wanted to make a list of reminders and tips of how to truly and fully make your dreams and intentions a reality, and where the bumps can often arise along the way so that you are armed and prepared for the best year ever! Because a New Year has the profound opportunity for you to make your life magical, to make a fresh start, to make the changes you want and to really set those amazing intentions into action, However, none of this happens unless You make it happen.

Cleaning the Slate.

A New Year doesn't magically clean the slate. It doesn't magically make everything okay again. It's really just one new day. BUT, you can make it the first step towards your happiness and bliss. That one step is so important, but the motivation and courage to follow is even more important. You get to create the momentum of your life and to guide it into a positive direction; to welcome love and gratitude and all good things into your life. Now, with this, you cannot simply brush all the mess of your life beneath a rug and expect it to stay there. If you want change then you must make it happen. If you want a clean slate then you must actually resolve the past. 

I speak about this from a place of deep deep knowing, from the experiences of my own life, from observing the lives of others, and from this journey that continually surprises me with lessons. Taking the steps to Heal Yourself are steps that cannot be overlooked. All the positive thinking, the optimism, the smiling, and love in the world will not mend the holes that have already been made in your heart and mind; these are things that you must address, that you must take charge over, and that you must find true resolve in. Only then can you mend that broken heart and live your life without that burden. If you don't, they will arise again and wreck havoc on all the work you make towards your happiness. This is a most valuable lesson, and I share this with you today because I want you to find resolve, to welcome all the good in your life that you deserve, and to truly start your new year right: without the burden of your past to weigh in your heart.

There are many ways that you can do this, but I encourage you to do it right. And by do it right, I encourage you to see a councillor, a therapist, someone who can really help to heal you. EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) changed my life. And EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is another method that can heal old wounds. These are the only two methods, that I know of at this time, that will truly and purely heal those wounds, to mend those wires in your brain that attach the past to negative feelings and reactions. Both of these methods work by activating pressure points and different sides of your brain to become okay with trauma, problems, and even physical blockages in your body. 

While EFT is very new to me, I am very excited to be trying and experimenting with this more. And it is even something you can do yourself at home--though I encourage a session with someone who knows what they're doing so that you understand the pressure points and wording to use this method properly. 

EMDR, I know works, because it was one of the most healing experiences of my life that allowed me to put a rather tumultuous past behind me. After I was done this session, I literally felt as if I was walking on clouds, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from within my soul. I would not be where I am today if it weren't for this experience. This new year, I intend to do another sessions as soon as possible, as there are issues that have risen that I did not resolve, or was not so aware of, the first time I did EMDR with my councillor several years ago. 

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of resolving your past. And I mean Really Resolving your past. I've seen the past wreck havoc on my own life and the lives of people around me, and, so, addressing problems before they grow into something much less manageable is vital. If there is one lesson I could give you this new year it would be to do it Now.  

ReCreate Yourself; Be Yourself.

New Year's resolutions often come with some sort of personal or physical changes we want to see in ourselves. You Do get to recreate yourself. Every single day. And I encourage you to do so. Because it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself; to come into yourself, to be the greatest and truest version of yourself, whatever that might be at the time and know that it may, and very likely will, change with time. 

Allow yourself to change, allow your opinions to change, your dreams to change, your life to change. Change is a natural and wonderful part of life, learn not to resist it and instead embrace all that it carries with it. No one should want to remain stagnant. Be the person you're meant to be! 

Work on Yourself Every Day.

Every day is a profound opportunity to make changes, to take charge, and to be the change you wish to see in your life and in the world. However, all those things you want to accomplish won't happen unless you make them happen, and this requires an every day action. It shouldn't be a chore, it should feel inspiring, uplifting, motivating and exciting! And those actions every day can be as simple as making yourself smile, to repeating affirmations, to speaking words of gratitude. The importance is to cultivate positive thoughts, feelings, and emotions to fuel the passions of your life and to attract greatness into your life. 

Don't be Afraid of Failure.

You will fail. You will fall on the ground and kick and scream and have breakdowns, and cry, and be angry and frustrated. But you will also climb back up, be awesome, inspired, happy, motivated, and all the more powerful if you let yourself climb back up after every fall. Falls are inescapable. We all stumble, we all fail, we all make mistakes. These are vital lessons and important steps in life. Don't resist them, simply allow them to happen, learn the lesson, and move onward. 

The fear of failure should never be a reason not to do something. Inner instincts can tell us when something is wrong or should be avoided, but fear of failure should simply never be a reason not to do something. So charge headfirst, take risks, take chances, be bold, and step out of your comfort zone! 

Make a List.

If there is something you want, don't forget to write it down. This is why creating a Vision Board is such a powerful tool, because you place your wants and dreams into action. Writing things down makes them twice as likely to come true. Getting specific with what you want is even more powerful. If you want that dream job, partner, friend, or whatever it is your heart desires, make a list and be as specific as possible. Write down every detail. If it's a job, write down the hours you want to work, the responsibilities you want, the sort of work your job entails, the happiness and freedom you want from it, your wage, and so forth. If it's a partner or friend, write down characteristics, details, activities you want to do with this person. Get as detailed as possible! And, last but not least, make sure you have made room in your life to accept those things into your world. The Law of Attraction is a useful tool, learn about it and cultivate it into your life to make magic happen. 

Live the Life You Want.

In life, we make far too many sacrifices. We talk ourselves down from things that we want and deserve. Often times, we aren't honest with ourselves at all about what we want for ourselves, of what we need to grow, of what we need to do for ourselves to be happy. This year, I challenge you to really discover yourself; to let the walls down, to see yourself truly, and to be honest with yourself with what you want. No more excuses, no more tiptoeing. If you want something, claim it, make it your own. Live the life of your dreams and don't let anyone or anything stop you! Have the courage to say yes and to make your dreams a reality. 

Don't belittle your dreams, don't feel selfish or needy. Be Honest with yourself! You are allowed to ask and want amazing things in your life. So do! And remember that you Deserve Happiness and Love. 

Be Grateful, Be Happy.

More than anything else, be Grateful. Gratitude is the single biggest key to living an awesome life--regardless of anything else around you. By being grateful we harness appreciation for ourselves and the lives we already have, and we open the door to even greater things by doing so. Gratitude cultivates love and happiness. Gratitude is the greatest key, use it daily! 

I wish you all a very happy new year filled with adventure, love, laughs, excitement, and change! Be bold, be yourself, and have courage! 

So much love from me to you! 

Create an amazing day, and create an amazing life! 

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{life reflections} - Life is What You Make It

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Life is What You Make It

Happiness has come much more easily these days, especially when I compare current state of affairs to the first half of 2014 and the later half of 2013. Oh the turbulence! I still cannot believe how many people I know (or, actually, just about Everyone I know) who are going through Huge life changes, rocky dilemmas, and ordeals of varying degrees and depths. What a strange year this has been. It continues to blow my mind. So many life-altering changes shaking our foundations and encouraging us to build new ones. Life is truly magical, if not incredibly trying at times. Chin up! Things are getting better for most of the people I know; I heard this crazy mercury in retrograde, or whatever other cosmic blame we have handy, is on its way out and things are bound to become more stable soon! This is the little bit of reassurance I wanted to pass along to anyone still enduring the turbulence of this year. That being said, reassurance is nice and all, but reassurance is nothing if you don't take a step up and take control of your own life. 

Ordeals happen. All the time. They can cripple us, or they can build us up. Your choice. People hate that this is their own choice. Hate, hate, hate. Taking responsibility for your own life can feel like such an arduous task. I mean, who has time for That?!… *extended pause*… Everyone should make room to better their lives. I don't care how busy your life is, squeeze in that sprinkle of happiness, that lesson on self-worth, that practice from all those life lessons you've read about. It's all in our hands. Well, that is: Our own Lives are in Our Own Hands. Only you are responsible for the make or break of your own story. You are the author, the poet, the artist, the dreamer and believer of your own future and present. 

Look at it this way: when we are handed a life ordeal, it is like being handed a sticky piece of playdoh. Sometimes when it is handed to us it has the shape of something unlikeable, perhaps even terrifying. Sometimes it's a bit tough to mould, or sometimes too sticky. But, despite any of that, what we do with that unlikeable shape is up to us. We can mould it into something new and beautiful, or we can keep poking it with a stick or ignoring it, and hope that it just fixes itself. Life takes work; but it's a good kind of work. The situations you are handed in life are malleable, so long as you Choose to do something with them. Every ordeal holds a lesson, and therefore something to allow you to grow. Working on your own sense of happiness and fulfillment is the most important work you will ever do, so don't neglect it! Be pro-active about your own life, circumstances, relationships, and situations. 

These are not new words for me to teach--or preach, if you choose to see it that way ;)--but they are valuable beyond measure. I speak them particularly at the moment because I can see what being pro-active in my own life has brought me (perhaps in comparison to some people I know who are less pro-active, or times in my own life when I was less pro-active). I have worked hard at my life; the happiness and state of mind that I have achieved did not happen by accident. I was a suicidal, depressed, self-loathing girl, constantly blaming everything outside myself, wallowing in my problems, and feeding the self-misery for years. The decision to change and be happy is the biggest one you will make, because if you make it with conviction and from the heart then things will start to fall into place; perhaps gradually and with much struggle in the beginning, but fall in place nonetheless. All of that pro-active work I took within my own life lead me to be as strong as I am today. I'm not perfect by a long-shot; it still takes me forever to make the right decisions for myself, I still cry, I still hurt, I still stumble and fall flat on my face. The biggest part that changed, I do believe, is my optimism, my resilience, and my persistence. During downward swings I can still manage to smile; and after however long it takes me in any given situation, I remember that I am Worthy, Valuable, and that I Deserve Happiness. That remembrance fuels the heart back into passion, and when we fuel the heart with that kind of fire, solutions begin to present themselves. 

If someone had told that depressed suicidal girl where I would be today, I would not have believed it were possible. At all. And even today, if someone had told me four months ago how much my life was going to have changed in this moment right now, I would not have believed them either. There are many parts in my present life that I desired for a long time, either close to the surface, fully aware, or in denial somewhere in the subconscious. But I wanted these things. I have them now. And I couldn't be happier--or mind blown. During these last three months I have moments of awe and disbelief about how dreamlike my life feels right now, of the man I am currently with, of the dreams I am achieving, and the life I am living. I have these moments multiple times Daily! That is how blessed and grateful I feel right now--and how much my mind is blown away by how much things can change! 

  

Life isn't perfect, however. There will always be ordeals, huge life bumps, curveballs, and challenges--again, such things never cease to amaze me, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere. Something in particular happened to me this week that caused a whirlwind of emotions. I went back and forth between negative emotions and being optimistic again like a swinging pendulum. This lasted a few days. In spite of this, I was still able to remain level-headed and focus on what I had to be grateful for. Even though it was a trying ordeal, I didn't allow myself to wallow in self-pity or any other emotion, for I don't leave room in my life to stay stuck in those sorts of emotions anymore. But they come up. Frustration and emotional distraught still bounce back and forth--and they should--while you come to terms and face any ordeal. It's a game of ping pong, but you always have the choice to keep batting away the negative emotions with positive ones until the positive ones win and the calm returns to your life. Gratitude is absolutely your best weapon in any trouble--I recommend using it all the time in every single situation that comes across your path. In the end, once we've allowed ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotions, we can only accept what has happened and make the best of it. There is no point in dragging out or holding onto negative emotions, so practice letting them go! Remember: Optimism and Gratitude, use them liberally and they will change your entire life, I promise you! 

  

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{life reflections} The Human Capacity to Judge, and Incapacity to be Happy for Another

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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The Human Capacity to Judge, and Incapacity to be Happy for Another

Life has generally been feeling pretty amazing. It feels like the storm is finally passing and the sunshine can brightly beam its beautiful rays back down into this chaotic life. Life genuinely feels positive, optimistic, and full of new life, passion, joys, and excitement. 

But I know what some of you might be thinking… she's lying, she's making it up, she's trying to convince the world that she's happy when she's not. 

What prompts such an accusation, you might ask? Well, there have been quite the new experiences and lessons through such big changes in my life, and people's reactions and behaviours have perhaps been the most interesting, if not annoying, or disheartening, to see. 

The thing is that I did expect a certain amount of gossip, a certain amount of people's opinions to twist the story of my recent divorce around and redeliver it in a less amicable way. Things between me and my husband have been as smooth as they can be. I don't hold anything against him, and I hope he doesn't hold anything against me either. What I have found annoying is that people try to messy that. It's as if people are so afraid of change (even if it's not to do with them but simply around them) that they have to fight it any way they can, or pour fuel on the fire, or start a fire altogether. People are unable to be happy for others. People also judge others entirely too freely and unthoughtfully. This has been a huge eye-opener to a concept I was already fairly familiar with. However, it never ceases to amaze me.

The thing is that I don't want to be posting publicly about this whole divorce with my (ex)husband. I have written bits and pieces about my own perspective and lessons along the way regarding these big changes in my life--as a reflection of life, being human, and the experience of learning and growing and helping one another in the process (I am a writer, after all). But I have kept things respectfully distant as to the details of our relationship-ending; and, I do believe, with tact. This is when gossip becomes extra annoying. I have been pretty open about things that I felt a certain need or wish to, so that people may understand things and Not gossip. What people don't seem to realize is that gossip can be hurtful, it can make a mess of an amicable situation, and it can prompt unnecessary drama. On a personal level, this has prompted all sorts of feelings in me, mainly a certain bitterness towards humanity, I've come to realize. For some reason I'm having a hard time letting this go. Perhaps I'm too emotional. Perhaps I do care too much what people think. Perhaps it is just that I do want to keep this divorce as smooth and kind as possible for him and for me. Or perhaps it's just because I feel like I need to justify my actions now. 

I don't think I need to justify myself to anyone. My life is my life. But it's a difficult thing somehow to wrap our heads around. It's not fun to have our integrity challenged, especially when we do the best that we can in any given situation. I feel as if this is a topic plenty of people can relate to--just as with my last topic of having our sense of self challenged; very similar topics, I must admit. 

There is a part of me that just wanted to believe that people would keep their noses aptly where they belong. There is a part of me that hoped people would just, basically, be decent human beings. What is this human attachment to drama? What is this human need to gossip and place their own opinions wrongly into a situation they know nothing about? What is this human impulse to judge? What is this human addiction to see the most negative in someone else's situation? More importantly, what is this human mentality that makes people unable to be Happy for someone else? 

Instead of just looking at someone's situation and going, "oh, they look happy. Therefore I am happy for them," people have to look at it and go, "oh, it's a mask. What are they trying to prove to everyone? They must actually be unhappy and are just trying to hide it." 

I think it's a pretty large reflection of our society as a whole. How badly are we conditioned to be unhappy? How conditioned are we to be jealous, envious, and generally negative towards other people? Through plenty of personal experiences, and through plenty of hearing, watching, and learning about other people's experiences, I've come to learn that people generally are incapable of being happy for someone else's successes. We are not in competition with one another, and the sooner people can realize that, the sooner we will all get along. Not only that, but the sooner people can learn to actually be Happy for someone else's successes, then the more you welcome opportunities and success into your own life. 

There are happy people in the world. There are Good Things genuinely in people's lives. I have worked hard to make happiness a part of my life, to welcome good things, to experience joys, to learn, to grow, to make my life what I want it to be. So, yes, I say this with confidence: I love my life, I am Happy, I feel good about the future, and I am not just saying this to hide some inner dark corners of myself. I have learned to be a pretty open person--perhaps too open for my own good at times. I have learned to accept being human. I have learned to embrace my darkness instead of pretending it's not there. I have learned to be Happy, and I am still learning to deal with the flow of the storms that come in and out of life. But one thing you will not find me doing is being something I am not. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. I am not trying to convince anyone that I am happy. I am not trying to convince anyone that I made the right decisions in my life. I am not trying to convince anyone that I am in love again. These are things I genuinely feel, things in my life that I have worked hard at. You don't have to be happy for me, I don't need your validation; I merely wish that you could be happy enough in your own life instead of deflecting on other people. It makes me sad to see it, and I have seen it plenty of times (people deflecting their miseries onto other people). I have watched plenty of friends and people close to me affected by this negative mentality. It's a shame. And it's silly. People need to learn to be happy for one another, support one another. People need to learn to stop assuming things about others, because unless you've walked a lifetime in someone else's shoes then you simply cannot understand, and therefore certainly cannot judge. 

I say these things not to justify myself anymore, I say these things because I feel there needs to be a major shift in the human mentality. Fortunately, I am also surrounded by so many wonderfully, incredibly enlightened and conscious people; people that strive to actually be happy and good and positive. I understand we are all just human, we are just trying, learning, struggling, and striving for better. But that positive shift is so important. When you observe another person's life, do not assume, do not judge, do not gossip. 

Life isn't rainbows and butterflies all the time for anyone, but I choose to focus more of my attention on the joys and things that excite me and make me happy, instead of complaining and dwelling on the negative. That is why the picture of my life I paint is happy and good, because that is what I strive for every day, that is what I Choose my life to Be; and that is why, for the most part, I am genuinely blissfully happy. I recommend everyone strives and works towards the same, because the potential exists in all of us. 

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{life reflections} Changes + Decisions

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

. . . . . . . . . .

Changes + Decisions

Big life changes are intimidating at the best of times. When such large changes occur it often feels as if they threaten to crumble the foundation on which we have spent so much time building a certain part of our lives. We feel the ripple all the way through other areas of our lives… disruptive, destructive, unbalanced. It's difficult to stay centred, grounded, humbly in line with the positive of our new big changes. However, just because things seem rocky on the surface doesn't mean a beautiful plan is not still at play. In fact, our worlds must often crumble so that we may rebuild new ones. This is a good thing. The threat to our balance may not make it feel so, but change is good; only our resistance to it is bad. 

Let me repeat that: Change Is Good! 

Change is especially good when it is through our own action, through following our own hearts, and through chasing our dreams. Going after what we truly desire can be positively frightful, because it does require big change, risk, and stepping out of our comfort zones. However, success is all dependent on You. If you want something, go after it; but don't go half way and then give up because it's too difficult. If you want something bad enough, it will most definitely be yours. Sometimes it may be easy, other times it may require blood and sweat and tears and a great deal of an emotional roller coaster, perseverance, and optimism to drag you out the other side. But it will be worth it, and you will be all the more proud for your efforts. 

When we can keep the end goal in sight, then the journey becomes more graceful. I'm not saying tears and frustration and sacrifice won't still be involved, but overall your feeling should be optimistic, happy, and hopeful. When we can maintain our focus this way, the struggle lessens; because we are able to see it as a challenge, a bump on our path to overcome, but something that we Know we will ultimately come out the other side from. Optimism and Positive Thinking become your best tools during these trials. 

Remember that no matter what dark hole you have been consumed by, there is still light in the world, there is still joy, there is still happiness; and they are all there waiting for you. There is always a way to climb back to the surface of any dark hole in your path. Always. Always. Such is the beauty of life.

Before Big Changes enter our lives there is, of course, the preceding (and rather daunting) Decision making-time. This period is often the hardest part, the part that requires the largest act of faith in ourselves, and the biggest leap. Such big choices and changes can make it is easy to get tangled up in the web of our incessant over-thinking minds. So what to do? First off, if you want a decision to be the Right Decision, then it is up to You to make it the right one. If you want happiness then it's up to you to find it and choose it. What I believe, and through personal experience, the Universe is bringing to us exactly what we need when we need it. The Universe has our best interests in mind when we set that positive intention. 

However, there are no simple choices or answers in life. Indecision can grind on our being for months at at time without resolve. In the end, all we can do is do our best to listen to and to trust in our Hearts, have the courage to do what we need for ourselves, and believe that the Universe has our best interest in mind. We should also always make the most of what's given to us, and manifest and believe in the most positive and beneficial outcome. Believe that everything will work out for the best; and that everything happens for a reason. Because it will, and it does! 

Every change we make should be because we are choosing to love and honour our own needs, well-being, and happiness. If you are constantly putting someone else in front of you, then you will never be happy. I believe this to be particularly true in personal relationships. I'm not saying a little sacrifice here and there can't be constructive for a relationship, but if just one of you is (or both of you are) constantly sacrificing your own needs, plans, and desires, then you are heading for a derailing. We can only sacrifice so much of ourselves and our lives before there's nothing left. We become drained, tired, resentful, frustrated, and ultimately lost as we struggle to feel in tune with our own needs and dreams. The relationship will stop being fulfilling, and then it is either destined to be miserable forever (unless of some miraculous breakthrough), or will end. It takes a great deal of honesty with yourself to see what is best for you (and all those involved). Through experience, it is one of the hardest decisions to make, because the fear of making the wrong decision is somehow more frightening than being miserable forever. 

It took me being brutally, brutally honest with myself to make my recent huge life change. It took six gruelling months of hoping, trying, and failing, and then doing it all over again. What finally broke the ice was a certain vow I made to myself. I look back at this with a little flutter in my heart towards the perfection of the Universe now that things are where they are. The vow I took was this…

I vow to be Happy. I vow to be Open and Honest with myself. I vow to find my Fire. I vow to Be Myself, Love My Self, and Respect Myself. I vow to actively participate in my own Happiness. I vow to be kind and gentle with myself. I vow to stop feeling badly or apologizing for being human, for not being okay, or for being my self. I vow to never allow someone else to take away my self-worth. I vow to get my spark back, to feel myself again, to get My Life back. 

I vow to have the courage to do what I need for myself; to be bold and take risks; to be strong and courageous. I vow to Let Go. I vow to release what no longer serves me. 

I vow to live my life for Me. I vow to live a fulfilling Life. 

I made these vows to myself at the beginning of May. What happened after was a spiral of events that led up to exactly what I had vowed that day. As soon as I made clear to myself, not only that I Wanted, but that I Deserved to Be Happy and have a great life, then things began to fall into place. It still blows my mind. The simple act of allowing ourselves to Be Worthy of Good. It will transform your life, it will supercharge you, it will draw to you what you need to make a decision and to change your life in the best possible, and most beneficial, way. 

So, my best advice if you're stuck between indecision? Trust your heart, and vow to yourself that you Deserve Good Things, Happiness, and Love. 

And how to handle the turbulence to follow any big change? Focus on the outcome, and remember that this too shall pass; you will come out the other side into a land of rainbows and butterflies. Remember to set Positive Intentions, keep your mind on your goals and desires; keep the canvas clear of negative thinking and filled with what you want your life to be.    

  

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☺ Reflections on the New Chapter of My Life ☺

There is no denying… this lovely blog is becoming consumed by the current circumstances of my own life. I feel as if that is okay though; after all, I am a writer that shares life lessons and experiences, so why would the experiences of my own life not be shared with you all in hopes to help you reach some "ah ha" moment in your own life? Or perhaps for me to selfishly explore and discover the inner workings of my own life and then sharing such with you. Win-win then? Okay, I'll go with that.  

The truth is that the end of my marriage and this new chapter of my life is clearly absorbing most of my current time. But I also want to blog. I want to blog about my experience. So, once more, why not?

{from my recent Vancouver adventure}

Reflections on the New Chapter of My Life. 

Change can be scary. The fear of Change, worse so, will hold us back.  

Life can be quirky and unexpected. In fact, just when we think we have our entire "life plan" figured out the curveball comes a swinging to redirect us. I thought I was going to live happily ever after with my husband. I thought he was "the one". We were high school sweethearts, got married at 22, and shared a good ten years together in which most of our relationship was quite blissful, if not incredibly arduous (partly because we were so young, mostly because there was a lot of personal turbulence that directly affected each our lives, particularly mine). 

Ending any relationship isn't easy, add the word "marriage" into that and it's even more uneasy, add the words "ten years" and you ignite a personal complex. The most difficult part of the decision, however, was that I wasn't leaving my partner because he was a bad person, in fact he is an absolutely amazing person and any woman would be lucky to have him. It was why it took me a gruelling six months of tug-o-war with my own mind and heart to finally make a decision. After all, I was leaving a man I had committed myself to, a man that I had loved deeply for years, a man that treated me well and a man who was enlightened, conscious, kind, and in so many ways very much like me in our personal beliefs. There was a point in which I wondered what was wrong with me to have fallen out of love with such a man. 

Compatibility. 

Being on different paths.

Being different people and wanting different things. 

Personal traumas and troubles in which we no longer supported one another.

These were all the real reasons I think my marriage fell apart, why I fell out of love, and why I needed to move on. His soul no longer resonated with my own and our interests changed. I will say again: it's hard leaving someone who is good to you; it will make you question the deepest parts of yourself. But the mistakes we made during our time together played their weight in the ending, and so did many other factors. Falling out of love with someone is a strange feeling. But I learned to respect myself, to be honest with myself, and to listen to my heart, which were all vital in my own well-being--and things that I had a hard time accepting for a long long time. People (including ourselves) change, and there is nothing we can do about that. People end up going down different roads, developing different interests, striving for different desires, and requiring different attributes and needs from our inner selves and the partners we are with. This moves us onto different frequencies that are no longer resonating with the inner most important parts of our beings. That is when change is required, when it is time to be honest with yourself and to see the truth. None of this means the person we were with was a bad person, and it doesn't mean "it's not you, it's me", it just means that our paths are heading in different directions. Accepting this truth opened my world and allowed the guilt to ease and my decision to be made with more confidence.

My point in all this, if there is any, is that I thought I was going to live happily ever after with my husband in our dream home with a happy little pig, puppy, and our two cats, with an extravagant food garden, and a lifetime of sprinkled fairy dust on top. Life throws us curves balls. What we thought we wanted may sometimes not be what we actually want, or, even more so, what we actually need. There is a moment in life where we feel like we are going against the current; this is a good sign and feeling to listen to. If you are constantly fighting against a current, then it is probably not in your best interest to pursue. This was the case with my marriage. It felt as if I was constantly fighting against a current. This feeling was what gave me my first wake-up call: when I realized my life wasn't what I wanted it to be. I also came to see that there were things that I wanted that my current circumstance could not provide me--not because of him, but because of myself. I realized I needed change. I realized I needed a different environment in order to grow and learn new things about myself and to enrich my life again; to, basically, continue my life journey in the truest resonance to my soul. My faith in the Universe contributes to my peace of mind in all this, because I do believe it is looking out for each of us, but I also believe that we have to actively participate in our lives as well for it to be good and rich and abundant in all areas. Actively participate, listen to your heart, trust the signs, and trust that whatever decision you make can be the right decision. 

I remember wishing someone could make the decision for me. I remember looking for signs from the Universe every day. It's easy to misinterpret outward signs, the real sign was actually in my heart, I was just in complete denial of this for a long time--a time I regret. If I had listened to my heart sooner, if I had been honest with myself sooner, than perhaps this ending would have been easier. But, everything happens for a reason. Better late than never. 

As terrifying and woeful as ending my marriage has been (there is nothing in the world that has ever made my heart hurt so badly), I am also excited for the future. I had given up on love, part of me didn't believe it were possible; I mean, if my husband wasn't "the one", who else could be? Again, life can surprise you, and sometimes "the one" is actually right in front of you. Love is real. I really truly deeply believe and (dare I say) know this to be true. If we set the right intention, know that we are deserving, and remember to love ourselves, then we absolutely welcome the right person into our lives. 

Change can be scary. But change also opens us up to the world we deserve, the world we strive for, the world we are manifesting. Change is good; only our resistance to it is bad. Sometimes we just have to pull up the courage to do what we need for ourselves--and that often times requires the biggest leap of faith and making the hardest decisions. Through all this personal experience, I promise you, having the courage to listen to your heart is the most rewarding experience you will have--even if it is intimidating, even if it may seem devastating and difficult. Trust your heart. Trust that inner voice that is trying to guide you, trying to bring to you what you strive for, need, and desire. That little voice knows, because it resonates the deepest parts of your soul. So, learn to listen, and welcome goodness into your life. 

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☺ Where'd the Posts Go?! *Update!* ☺

The ReLove Plan.et blogs have been sorely neglected, this I apologize for. Sorry, and not sorry; not out of being self-important, but out of the feeling that apologies aren't required for many things in life in which we feel the need to apologize for--but I'll get to that in another post as I am already getting off topic (that was fast!). 

Where did I go? Why so quiet? Where are the positive posts and other fun stuff you're used to seeing here? 

Well. My life sort of fell on its head the last couple of weeks (yes, apparently my life has a head). Actually, when being honest, my life sort of fell on its head a couple of years back, or at least that's when the spiral commenced. Long story short, my husband and I are separating. Before you break out the box of tissues and the sad violin, a couple of things I'd like to note on this…  

1. I am not looking for sympathy; nor do I feel this is a place where people need to say "sorry to hear that" which seems to be the most common response to people finding out. 

2. This is a Good thing. While my partner is an amazing individual and I am not leaving him out of anything against his person (he really is an amazing person with so much to offer the world and others), the decision was based off a need for myself and my own (and I do believe his) personal growth and journey. We grew apart. By association, our relationship became neglected and I fell out of love. Simple as that. Which is not so simple, but that's it described in its most basic form, without all the details and mess and emotions and road that led to all of this. I will always love and care about my husband, but our lives were taking separate paths and we were perhaps not as compatible as we had thought to be. People change. Life Changes. It was time for me to be honest with myself (which was gruellingly difficult) and to listen to my heart (which I shut out for so long). While emotions are understandably running high and flailing about, I do feel positive about this decision. It was time for me to rediscover a piece of myself that I lost. And I do feel that I am already rediscovering and exploring these sides of myself. 

Okay, so that being said, the blog, and my work for that matter, are being neglected. Not because I don't want to blog--in fact I feel incredibly inspired through all of this to write, write, write--but because life is changing and complicated right now. I am in the process of moving out, packing, and manifesting my perfect little bungalow. My life is changing immensely. IMMENSELY! I have spent the past ten years with my husband, from the time I was seventeen and still in high school, and so the world is a brand new canvas for me to paint, rediscover and uncover other parts of my soul. 

I am excited. I am enthusiastic. I am positive. And I am guilty as hell for feeling those things, but learning to allow myself to be happy and To feel those positive emotions. I would love to (and will very soon) write a more in-depth post about Allowing Ourselves to Be Happy (in the face of other misery), because through this experience it has been one of the biggest challenges and blocks I have discovered about myself that I have held onto since I was a child; and has been one of the greatest obstacles to moving forwards. 

Sometimes we hold on to guilt as if it will make the other person feel better. It doesn't. Guilt only serves to burn you. And letting go is one of the most rewarding and healing lessons to any hardships we face in life, and especially so in our relationships. 

Life can be strange. Unexpected. But it is also beautiful. I am and always will be a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and that everything falls into place in the end. I know this to be truth through my own experience. I can see the magic still glowing around me and it is certainly inspiring. And so, I invite you to continue this journey with me, as I enter a new chapter of my life and while I share my experiences and lessons in hopes they may serve you or awaken a part of yourself that also may be dormant (as it has in me). We are all here to learn from one another, and I can't say how fortunate I feel to be sharing my journey with so many of you who appreciate my posts. It means the world to me. Thank you.  

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☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

. . . . . . . . . .

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

. . . . . . . . . .

☺ True Beauty in Life is…  about living the life that you want and choose. It's about being free to be yourself, and being happy with yourself inside and out, and not worrying what others say or think of you. When you can reach this point your life will be effortless bliss.           

☺ Go for a walk outside! Every single day make a point to get outside and go for a brisk walk, even if it's just five minutes to your mailbox. As you walk, speak the words "thank you." Do this practice every day without fail, and do it multiple times whenever you are feeling your mood slip.  

☺ All Creatures are the Same. Our society teaches us to value the life of a dog over a pig, a cat over a cow, a guinea pig over a mouse. It's time to wake up and realize that they are all living, breathing, emotional creatures, all with the same capacities to experience joy and pain. I see it far too often, like the whole horse meat fiasco where people were outraged. If you're outraged by horse meat you should be equally outraged by all the chickens, cows, and pigs you're eating. In fact that pig is smarter than your dog and your 3-year-old child. Wake up and start the love for all creatures!   

☺ Become aware of what makes you Sparkle! There are certain things in life that may zap away your sparkle. You may not realize that you've even lost that sparkle until you get it back--via ridding yourself of whatever it was that was hindering it. Toxic relationships are a huge culprit. Unresolved issues, your own attitude, and a number of other things may also get in the way. Pay attention to whether or not your sparkle has been zapped and if it's gone work on removing the toxicity from your life. If you have it, be grateful and pay attention to anything that may try to take it away and steer clear. Now sparkle sparkle! 

☺ Take some You Time. Take some time this week to turn off the electronics, to get away from responsibilities, work, and obligations. Take time out of your day to practice some deep breathing, to relax, and to ease any tension in your body. Practice smiling and laughing. Cleanse your body and mind with some uninhibited time to yourself and nothing else. It's silly that it's so hard for us to dedicate this sort of time to ourselves in our busy busy lives, but do it--your body, mind, and soul will thank you for it. Centerrrr!

☺ Brim with Happiness! Happiness is the ultimate goal in life. Happiness is the meaning, the journey, it is everything. Your job in life is to be Happy. Your goal in life should be to pass that joy and love and positivity onto others. Your task is to fill yourself with so much happiness that it can't help spill over onto others. Become a wave of happiness to those around you and it will maintain your own happiness as well. Win win win.      

☺ “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.” – Howard Thurman.

Don't forget to get out there and Create a Nice Day!! 

Much Love from me to you! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

. . . . . . . . . .

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

. . . . . . . . . .

☺ Change ahead! "When a big change comes in your life, you have to adjust to the new path and the new direction, which requires new qualities and strengths. These qualities are always exactly what we need to acquire in order to accomplish the great things ahead in our life!" From The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne. 

☺ Start Eating Healthy! I hope you all had a lovely Easter weekend! That being said, I'm sure you stuffed your faces with chocolate and other not-so-great-for-you foods. Don't spiral by feeling guilty over this. It's just one weekend. But now is a good time to brush it off and get back to eating healthy. If you didn't eat all that well to begin with then now is a great time to start since spring is a cleansing period and perfect for change.  

☺ Give yourself a Pep Talk!! This isn't a new tip, I've mentioned this one before here but it's such an amazing motivator to turn your day around. It's easy to wake up and feel grouchy and therefor start your day off all wrong and set yourself up for the rest of the day being the same way. Change that first thing in the morning or whenever you feel your mood drop. Stand in front of your mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing that life is amazing and that all is good. Do a little dance, jump up and down and repeat "I love my life, I love my life" while smiling and your mood will magically change I promise. ;)                  

☺ Go on an Adventure! I don't know what your weather has been like but ours feels like summer. I went for my first hike of the year the other day with my friend and it was so much fun! We got outside in the sunshine and in nature, got some exercise, and shared some laughs. So get outside and go on adventure, no matter how big or small! 

☺ Ground Yourself…  This one isn't a mentality thing, this tip is literally to ground yourself to the earth. Why? We are surrounded by positive ions (those are the bad ones that cause cancer, illness, imbalance in the body and mind, and so forth) and we don't get nearly enough negative ions (those are the good ones). Those positive ions fill up our bodies and stay there because they have no exit, which is usually our feet. We wear shoes and walk on concrete, things that separate us from the ground beneath us. So one of the best ways to release those positive ions and refill on the negative ions is to have your feet bare on the earth. Go outside, in your garden, the sand, grass, anywhere in nature and connect your feet to the earth. You'll Feel the difference, if you have a headache or a stomach ache or anything like that you'll start to feel it go away. It's amazing!  

☺ Remember to Laugh! Laughter attracts joy, releases negativity, makes you feel good, and can miraculously heal your body and soul.    

☺ "“You're alive. That means you have infinite potential. You can do anything, make anything, dream anything. If you can change the world, the world will change." ~Neil Gaiman. Remember that attitude is everything and that you can Do anything. Start by changing yourself first, that is the way you will change your world. 

Happy Fertility Pagan Zombie Jesus Easter Bunny Weekend! ;) 

Don't forget to get out there and Create a Nice Day!! 

Much Love from me to you! 

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.

☺ Motivational Mondays! ☺

We're taking back Mondays!!!

"Motivational Mondays" are fabulous tips to get you excited and pumped for the week! 

Feeling low? Moody? Down on life? Well, that's what these posts are for! Time to feel awesome again and get some Positivity rolling! Just because it's Monday doesn't mean you can't have fun, smile, and enjoy Today! Apply these tips to your week and try to tell me that you don't start to see an improvement in your life! ;)

It's all about You! Change your perception, change your attitude, love your life! xo

*******************

☺ Appreciate and Love your Own Body! While you’re busy coveting someone else’s body, someone else is busy coveting yours. Imagine how much happier we’d all be if we could embrace and love the bodies we have. Self love, body love, they are so important to make our lives more beautiful, to truly appreciate ourselves. No more jealousy or envy, love the body you were given.   

☺ Do the 30 Day Photo Challenge! No, it's not too late for me to tell you to do this if you haven't already started ;). And yes, I know it's a 30 day challenge and there are only 28 days in February. If you're getting caught up in the details then you're clearly not busy enough enjoying life and therefor this challenge is a must for you! ;) Here's why you should; because inspiration and beauty is all around you and I truly want you to start seeing it and using your imagination and appreciating the moment. Taking a photo is so much more than just an image before you, it's capturing a moment in time, it's cherishing a memory, it's appreciating what's right in front of your eyes. People sometimes think I'm crazy for taking as many photos as I do, but I love it and I'm appreciating the moment. :) So jump start this moment and take a photo! Look for inspiration and beauty everywhere! 

☺ Embrace the Dark to see the Light. We all have dark and light inside of us. We are human. Humans are multi-faceted, complicated beings. When we hop onto the train of happiness, working to improve ourselves we sometimes forget that balance is always needed and always within us. We are not perfect, we are not always smiling. We have sides of us we may not like. Side we find less flattering. And most of us have vices. Not liking those sides and pushing those sides out of the way isn't always your best defence. Continually working on your Self is fantastic and should always be a part of you, but becoming self-aware means not being ashamed of all your other sides either. Explore all the different sides so you can work on things.   

☺ Be a Superhero Fairy! I felt inspired by a post my sister wrote about her 2.5 year old daughter. She is just learning to use her imagination and it is a positive reminder for us adults to never lose sight of that childish bliss. Dressing up is fun, using our imaginations to transform ourselves into a whole other person is exciting. Continue to use that imagination! Run around with a cape on, dress up like a princess or superhero or whatever you'd like. Be a kid for a day. Never lose sight of true untainted imaginative bliss!    

☺ Tag! Around Christmas my husband and I got a bottle of wine for our landlords (because they're awesome and we love them) and we ended up listening to vinyl and drinking wine with them. It was an awesome evening. They let us use their hot tub while they were away, outside under the big moon--it was fantastic! But our landlady (?) mentioned how she wanted the hoodie I was wearing (one of my ReLove ones). So on the first when I was dropping off rent I also left her a little surprise gift of a ReLove hoodie of her own. She came up to the house the next day with a beautiful vase of flowers. They were from a sustainable company so she went out of her way to get them because she knows that I'm all eco-conscious. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. She also said "tag" and laughed. So! Go ahead and play tag of your own! Pass on a thoughtful gift to someone! 

☺ Pay Attention. Following the last tip, I think it's a good time to remind you to pay attention. Pay attention to what people tell you, to what people like. Those small things in any relationship are so much more meaningful than a big extravagant present. The gifts that I've received in my life that came from a place of true thoughtfulness were always so much more memorable and so much more touching. But this is a practice to carry with you beyond gifts. Paying attention and knowing the people around you shows you care and listen. I mean, how many of you even know the colour of your friends' eyes? So be more observant and listen more. 

☺ "Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin." ~ Tori Amos.  We are so easy to point out the flaws in others yet have such a hard time accepting our own. If you are constantly criticizing others then chances are it's because there is a lot about your own self that you have yet to accept and work on. So dig deep. There is nothing wrong with any parts of your self but there are always things you can work on. Don't be afraid of self-discovery, the deeper you dig the faster you can let go and heal. 

[myself when I was little, always playing dress up and being a hero]

Much Love from me to you! Now get out there and Create the Best Damn Day ever! 

Love Love!

If you found this article to be helpful, please consider a small donation or visit the shop. Thank you for your love and support.