{life reflections} - Life is What You Make It

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

Entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; the release of thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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Life is What You Make It

Happiness has come much more easily these days, especially when I compare current state of affairs to the first half of 2014 and the later half of 2013. Oh the turbulence! I still cannot believe how many people I know (or, actually, just about Everyone I know) who are going through Huge life changes, rocky dilemmas, and ordeals of varying degrees and depths. What a strange year this has been. It continues to blow my mind. So many life-altering changes shaking our foundations and encouraging us to build new ones. Life is truly magical, if not incredibly trying at times. Chin up! Things are getting better for most of the people I know; I heard this crazy mercury in retrograde, or whatever other cosmic blame we have handy, is on its way out and things are bound to become more stable soon! This is the little bit of reassurance I wanted to pass along to anyone still enduring the turbulence of this year. That being said, reassurance is nice and all, but reassurance is nothing if you don't take a step up and take control of your own life. 

Ordeals happen. All the time. They can cripple us, or they can build us up. Your choice. People hate that this is their own choice. Hate, hate, hate. Taking responsibility for your own life can feel like such an arduous task. I mean, who has time for That?!… *extended pause*… Everyone should make room to better their lives. I don't care how busy your life is, squeeze in that sprinkle of happiness, that lesson on self-worth, that practice from all those life lessons you've read about. It's all in our hands. Well, that is: Our own Lives are in Our Own Hands. Only you are responsible for the make or break of your own story. You are the author, the poet, the artist, the dreamer and believer of your own future and present. 

Look at it this way: when we are handed a life ordeal, it is like being handed a sticky piece of playdoh. Sometimes when it is handed to us it has the shape of something unlikeable, perhaps even terrifying. Sometimes it's a bit tough to mould, or sometimes too sticky. But, despite any of that, what we do with that unlikeable shape is up to us. We can mould it into something new and beautiful, or we can keep poking it with a stick or ignoring it, and hope that it just fixes itself. Life takes work; but it's a good kind of work. The situations you are handed in life are malleable, so long as you Choose to do something with them. Every ordeal holds a lesson, and therefore something to allow you to grow. Working on your own sense of happiness and fulfillment is the most important work you will ever do, so don't neglect it! Be pro-active about your own life, circumstances, relationships, and situations. 

These are not new words for me to teach--or preach, if you choose to see it that way ;)--but they are valuable beyond measure. I speak them particularly at the moment because I can see what being pro-active in my own life has brought me (perhaps in comparison to some people I know who are less pro-active, or times in my own life when I was less pro-active). I have worked hard at my life; the happiness and state of mind that I have achieved did not happen by accident. I was a suicidal, depressed, self-loathing girl, constantly blaming everything outside myself, wallowing in my problems, and feeding the self-misery for years. The decision to change and be happy is the biggest one you will make, because if you make it with conviction and from the heart then things will start to fall into place; perhaps gradually and with much struggle in the beginning, but fall in place nonetheless. All of that pro-active work I took within my own life lead me to be as strong as I am today. I'm not perfect by a long-shot; it still takes me forever to make the right decisions for myself, I still cry, I still hurt, I still stumble and fall flat on my face. The biggest part that changed, I do believe, is my optimism, my resilience, and my persistence. During downward swings I can still manage to smile; and after however long it takes me in any given situation, I remember that I am Worthy, Valuable, and that I Deserve Happiness. That remembrance fuels the heart back into passion, and when we fuel the heart with that kind of fire, solutions begin to present themselves. 

If someone had told that depressed suicidal girl where I would be today, I would not have believed it were possible. At all. And even today, if someone had told me four months ago how much my life was going to have changed in this moment right now, I would not have believed them either. There are many parts in my present life that I desired for a long time, either close to the surface, fully aware, or in denial somewhere in the subconscious. But I wanted these things. I have them now. And I couldn't be happier--or mind blown. During these last three months I have moments of awe and disbelief about how dreamlike my life feels right now, of the man I am currently with, of the dreams I am achieving, and the life I am living. I have these moments multiple times Daily! That is how blessed and grateful I feel right now--and how much my mind is blown away by how much things can change! 

  

Life isn't perfect, however. There will always be ordeals, huge life bumps, curveballs, and challenges--again, such things never cease to amaze me, especially when they seem to come out of nowhere. Something in particular happened to me this week that caused a whirlwind of emotions. I went back and forth between negative emotions and being optimistic again like a swinging pendulum. This lasted a few days. In spite of this, I was still able to remain level-headed and focus on what I had to be grateful for. Even though it was a trying ordeal, I didn't allow myself to wallow in self-pity or any other emotion, for I don't leave room in my life to stay stuck in those sorts of emotions anymore. But they come up. Frustration and emotional distraught still bounce back and forth--and they should--while you come to terms and face any ordeal. It's a game of ping pong, but you always have the choice to keep batting away the negative emotions with positive ones until the positive ones win and the calm returns to your life. Gratitude is absolutely your best weapon in any trouble--I recommend using it all the time in every single situation that comes across your path. In the end, once we've allowed ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotions, we can only accept what has happened and make the best of it. There is no point in dragging out or holding onto negative emotions, so practice letting them go! Remember: Optimism and Gratitude, use them liberally and they will change your entire life, I promise you! 

  

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{life reflections} Yoga and Healing

p.s. This was written on Thursday, for the date reference… not that it matters. ;)

As I sit here sipping on a rather blissful blueberry hemp smoothie on the deck of Sweet Cherubim, sweat still dripping down my spine, and hair still wet from the shower after my first Bikram Yoga class (think an intense 90 minutes of yoga in a 40 degree room), I can't help reflect on this immense shift in my life. To say that I have learned a lot about myself this past month would be a huge understatement. To say that I have entered an immensely healing period in my life with profound opportunity would also be highly under stated. Life itself is a healing journey, but to what I am referring is this new chapter of deep conscious healing I have recently begun, really tackling personal issues and past traumas to reach a better state of "enlightenment" and happiness in my life.  

These sorts of drastic life changes and challenges are not particularly new to me, but they always strike me all the same as incredibly profound, filled to the brim with lessons and opportunities to grow and discover new parts of myself. Through all my turmoils, I have definitely learned to embrace change, to seek the positive in any given situation. This process allows us to be more adaptable, allows us to grow and learn, allows the waves of turmoil to wash on by instead of getting stuck. 

Now, it's easy to dismiss things, to play things down when we start to compare our lives to others, or for an outsider looking in. Perhaps you are sat there thinking to yourself, but my life is incredibly difficult, for there is This and That going on, and This that needs to be done, and That which needs fixing, and This person is giving me grief. Well, this is no different than my world (or a lot of people's worlds), and I don't believe in making our current (or old) circumstances our excuses or clutches to negativity. At any given moment we have the opportunity to turn a situation into something that enriches our lives, to empower our beings, or we can allow it to cripple us. This is a basic, hard, blunt lesson I have learned through the tornado of my life. Attitude is everything. Having an Attitude of Gratitude is even more advantageous. 

I think--no, I know--that my attitude to any given situation has helped me through the negativity, through the bumps, through the sticky parts that weigh me down. I know that my gratitude has brought me more things to be thankful for, as well as deep, heart-warming gifts. The truth is, now that I sit here and reflect, that two of my happiest times in my life have also been during the most tumultuous. I don't mean like little bumps in the road, I mean a wrecking storm intent on destroying my inner and outer life; I mean absolute chaos; I mean the sorts of problems and challenges that bring you to tears and make you question why the Universe can be so cruel; I mean… you get the idea. However, through this emotional tornado, the brightest lights have shined. Perhaps it is because I look for things to be grateful for (Law of Attraction 101), or perhaps because I choose to see the positive, I therefore welcome the good to reenter my life. Good things come to me. Not because they land on my lap without effort, but because I choose to see them, embrace them, and challenge them to make me a better person. I actively participate in my happiness, in my life, and I encourage you to do the same with your own life--it is the only way you will grow and change for the better and create a place of happiness for yourself. 

So, yes, I am in a state of healing. I believe that was the point of today's "inspirational" post…  

Bikram Yoga

It amazes me that once we welcome healing into our lives how the opportunities are presented to us. Yesterday I was sat outside Sweet Cherubim (I just love Commercial Drive in Vancouver, and I love this little vegetarian/vegan place!), writing out a blog post, and a lovely gentleman complimented my tattoos and handed me a card for the Bikram Yoga studio directly above. The card was for a free yoga class. Ironically (actually, more like manifestation) I have been wanting to do a yoga class again for a while, and I have always been intrigued by hot yoga and have wanted to give it a try. The opportunity was perfect. So, the next day (today) I checked the schedule and headed over. I won't lie, I was slightly intimidated. Ninety minutes of intense yoga in a 40 degree room, sweating out toxins (you can burn a whopping 945 calories in this class!!). What I didn't expect (for some strange reason) was the healing that came from this class. There is something about being pushed to your limits, testing your perseverance, and enduring against the odds that will really teach you something about yourself. This class, this experience, was exactly what I needed in this healing journey I have been currently immersed in. I don't think I have ever sweated this much in my life. I don't think I have ever been tested this intensely to my physical and mental limits at the same time. There was a point I thought I might pass out, a point I thought I was going to puke, and a point I didn't think I could go on. If it hadn't been for the warm-hearted instructor at the beginning of the class telling me that these things were normal, I might not have endured. But, I pushed through, took a short breather, and jumped back in, pushing through the dizzy spills and nausea, focussing on breathing, and committing myself to the entire practice. Oh did it ever test me. But it was incredibly empowering, and incredibly rewarding. Feeling the blood circulate, the energy rushing, the toxins dripping out in sweat. Wow! It is a rewarding feeling when you push through something so challenging and feel rejuvenated afterwards. I'm not sure I can quite describe the feeling, but it was certainly healing, and profoundly rewarding. Mind over matter is a powerful thing, and a tool that can take us many places in life when we don't think we can endure. It proves we can do anything, proves we can push through anything. We all have that power within us. 

We all have the power to heal. We all have that power embedded into our DNA, embedded into our bodies, embedded into our minds; we just require the courage and perseverance to do so. But we should never underestimate our inner power. Ever. I encourage you to find yours, to follow it passionately, and to welcome the healing into your life. It may be a rough road, it may challenge you, but the end result is worth it all, and it will make you that much stronger, and that much more prepared for the next challenge in your life.

As always, so much love to you all!  

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☆ 14 Ways Your Cat Improves Your Health (infographic) ☆

I love my cats. They are absolutely my babies. The joy that I receive from these adorable little fur-balls cannot be put into words. If I am in a bad mood, they always cheer me up and make me feel loved. 

Now there's even more reasons to love your cat: by revving up your cat’s purr motor!

Our feline friends provide us with more than just emotional support. House cats may actually be contributing to our physical well-being. When a cat purrs within a range of 20-140 Hertz, nearby humans may be therapeutically benefiting from these vibrations. Purring has been linked to lowering stress, decreasing symptoms of Dyspnoea, lessening the chances of having a heart attack, and even strengthening bones.

Pet-therapy has been gaining momentum and it is already a well-established fact that having cats or dogs (or bunnies, etc.) in the family is good for your health. Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) acknowledges it. Many studies have found a variety of health benefits we derive from petting and interacting with companion animals. And there is scientific research that suggests pet owners live longer than those without pets.

Daily Infographic illustrates:

Infographic courtesy of Daily Infographic

(“dysponea,” usually spelled “dyspnea,” means difficulty or pain with breathing.)

Cuddling up with your cat is good for you and for her. Scratch her favorite spot (try her cheeks!) and get a good purr going. She’ll be ecstatic, and you will get healthier. (Good news for those who cannot take advantage of this feline-based health regimen because of cat allergies: an effective treatment may be only five years away.)

Even if she doesn’t get her purr on, time with your cat (or other animal) is still good for you. Here are just a few of the many ways they take care of you.

Pets Help Sick People Feel Better

WebMD describes a number of benefits ill people derive from living with companion animals.

1. “Alzheimer’s patients have fewer anxious outbursts” if they live with a companion animal.

2. “Pet owners with AIDS are far less likely to suffer from depression than those without pets.”

3. People who suffer from high blood pressure, then adopt a cat or dog, navigate stressful situations with lower blood pressure than people who don’t have pets.

4. “Heart attack patients who have pets survive longer than those without.”

Pets Also Help Prevent Health Problems

5. Taking care of a pet provides elderly people with “exercise and companionship,” with such a positive effect that one company gives bonus points to elderly life insurance applicants for having a pet.

6. “Male pet owners have less sign of heart disease — lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels — than non-owners.”

7. Want your kids to breathe easy? Make sure they have furry family members. That lowers the risk that they will have allergies, asthma and even eczema, plus it strengthens their immune systems.

If you have quadripeds in the house, go play or snuggle with them at once. If you don’t, get thee to the local animal shelter and save the life of a homeless animal who will pay you back with years of good health.

Thanks to Care2: http://www.care2.com/causes/14-ways-your-cat-improves-your-health.html#ixzz2aGjzojbG

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☺ Depression: You Don't Have to Stay There ☺

Ah life. It truly truly truly is a beautiful thing, it's just such a shame that we've been conditioned to believe that life is suffering, that life is hard work, that life sucks. Think about how many brain patterns we have formed during our upbringing, to make us feel badly about ourselves, to make us feel that life is no fun, to make us believe that materialism and money are the only forms of happiness, to make us believe that our happiness depends on things outside of ourselves, and to make us believe that happiness is a farfetched myth that is always just around the corner and just out of our reach. 

People seem to accept misery as if it is their only option. People seem to just accept that they are depressed as if there are no solutions or ways out. People seem to accept that life is suffering. Life can be tough, I won't deny that, I don't think anyone can deny that, but the more you conscientiously work on yourself, your happiness, your life, and most importantly, your attitude, then life becomes funner, happier, and easier. But we accept misery and I do believe this is our biggest downfall. 

Now, this next part I ask you to keep reading before you get offended--because this may be your initial reaction, that is not the purpose of this article but to empower you, so please keep reading--I'm here to at least try to help. 

Depression is not a choice--but staying there is. 

The truth is that depression comes to so many of us, and that part isn't much of a choice (especially due to the society we live in that pretty much tells us to be depressed), but the choice does lie in staying there. It can be hella difficult to climb out of the depths of depression--again I don't think anyone can deny that--it's not as easy as waking up one day and declaring that you are no longer depressed. As awesome as that would be, it's just not really possible. We have created so many brain habits and thought patterns that got us into the state of depression, therefor it takes a conscious amount of work to reprogram your brain out of it. But it is possible and anyone can do it. It takes work, it takes time, it takes some real turbulent ups and downs, but anyone can do it. And those turbulent ups and downs are worth it when you realize that you're going to get better. But you have to want to get better. If you don't truly put your heart into wanting and trying then you'll never get motivated enough to reprogram that brain. Enthusiasm, even if it's faked at first, is extremely viable. You can choose to wake up in the morning and stay depressed and not change. Or you can wake up in the morning and pretend to smile, you can force yourself into enthusiasm. The more you wake up trying the more you'll start to feel the changes emerge in your attitude and in your life. No one said it would be easy, but it is the most worthwhile trying and fighting you'll ever do. Because life is about being happy. And if we give up on trying to be happy, if we give up on fighting our way out of depression or misery, then it's like we've given up on life. There is never a reason to give up. Ever. Because if you reach that point where you feel like giving up, guess what? You have nothing left to lose! You can take the boldest chances of your life, and you can make the biggest leaps. Choose to change, no matter how small it may feel but never just give up. 

Now, this topic has been on my mind a lot lately because, with ReLove Plan.et, I truly want to try to help people and when some people are unreachable then it teaches me to take a step back, to put myself back in the suicidal depressed shoes I once lived in and reflect on the feelings, emotions, and bumps that I struggled with; so that I may find new approaches or advise that may reach people. Because I think everyone can and should be happy and if I can change one person's life then I know it will ripple.

Do what you Can.

Again, people accept depression as if they have no other options, as if happiness simply is not and will never be feasible for them. But it is. People complain about being unhappy, or just accept that they are unhappy and are silently more and more depressed about it. But they don't DO anything about it! This is the part that bothers me. Maybe because I have been there, maybe because I see people do it far too often, maybe because a part of me just can't stand to see others depressed when they don't have to be, and maybe because it's just plain hard to watch people continually self-destruct, but I want to shake people and tell them they can do better, that they Can be happy. This is why this blog started in the first place; because I know what trying can accomplish, because I've been into the depths of hell, pain, misery, self-loathing, and suicidal thoughts, and I never ever thought I would climb out of it but I did. Because I got up and decided to try and not accept that depression was my only option in life. 

Trying doesn't mean you have to make drastic changes with the snap of your fingers, trying means you're going to start, it means taking that first step forward. When I say that it bothers me to see people not trying, I'm not talking about people's inability to just "think positive" and change their attitudes in an instant--that stuff takes time and is not usually a beginners step if you have severe depression. That being said, you can always try and start to change your attitude--but I'll get to that later. These are the steps that I'm talking about that people fail to work on: diet and exercise. 

People turn to anti-depressants before they even try. It's not that I don't get it, I mean everyone wants to feel better, but from what I've seen antidepressants don't help anyone--I still have yet to meet someone on antidepressants who actually feels happy, good, or even not a zombie. Get off that shit! It's making you numb and it won't make you better, and in the meantime you're becoming hella dependent on chemicals that will make it even harder to actually get better. Not only that, but antidepressants are prescribed like giving out candy to kids on halloween. I once had a friend in high school who was having a hard time with her parents and was acting out a little. She was brought to the doctor who prescribed her prozac. My mind was blown! This girl was my best friend, we talked to each other about everything, and she wasn't depressed, not by a long shot. Hormonal, sure, frustrated, maybe; depressed, no! I talked to her about not going on them and she admitted to not being depressed and that she just wanted to make her parents happy. I am so glad, and I know that she is too, that she never went on them.

What I'm getting at is that antidepressants are a bandaid, and while that bandaid remains, the problems beneath are festering and building and will never heal until they are allowed to surface, be worked through, and released.  

Okay, so get off antidepressants and don't turn to them in the first place if that is something you've been contemplating. 

Getting back to those steps people can take to get better but don't do… 

Exercise has been proven to be just as effective as antidepressants when it comes to relieving depression. How many depressed people actually exercise? If you're depressed, start exercising! Go for a run, get an elliptical or stationary bike, go to the gym, get a bike, go hiking. Hell, you can just WALK for 30 minutes a day and that's all you need! I know that you probably won't feel motivated to exercise. I know that at first you won't feel like it's doing anything. Do it anyway. Because it absolutely does help. 

Eat properly! People complain about being depressed yet have you taken a look at your diet? How many foods are you eating that are diminishing your health? Your brain--therefor happiness--depends on a healthy body! How many foods are you eating that are depressants? Do you consume alcohol or do drugs? Do you drink coffee regularly or other highly caffeinated beverages? Do you eat sugar like most people do? Do you eat processed packaged foods? Again, I know that you won't feel motivated to eat right because when you're depressed one of the last things you really care about is yourself, therefor your health. Do it anyway. Sugar alone is one of the most potent depressants you can put into your body, yet people consume sugar as if it's nothing. When I give into a sugar craving, I go crazy, bonkers, like I want to throw my fist into a wall. Sugar is crazy! I mean really really crazy and it'll make you even crazier. Alcohol as well, terrible depressant on the body. It's not rocket science, it's just common sense. Eat more veggies, eat more fruits, eat REAL food, and stop eating foods that are making you depressed! 

So, if you're telling people that you can't help but be depressed, if you are telling people that you can't change, that happiness is simply not for you, and that trying is really hard, well… yeah, trying may be hard, it may be challenging, it may be hard to get motivated at first, but you CAN get better, you CAN get happy, and there are steps you can start taking to get better. 

Start with that 30 minutes of exercise a day, and start by really disciplining yourself with your eating habits. I promise you that once you start doing these things alone then you'll start to feel a difference; and then you'll be able to focus more on changing your attitude, reading helpful books that you'll be able to apply to your life, and the journey will just get easier and easier from there. 

You can also take natural remedies to help boost your serotonin and get your brain working the way it should--because years of depression take a real toll on your body's natural ability to produce serotonin. I highly recommend doing this. Some suggestions are: St.John's Wort, 5-HTP, sam-E, or rhodiola. Make sure you're getting your balanced omegas and DHA as well, these will help and are easy ways to boost your brain power. Make sure you're getting enough B-12, B-6 and other B vitamins. And make sure you're getting enough vitamin D.

These are all steps. You are not helpless. You CAN change. But you have to want to and you have to try. Take it in steps and don't beat yourself up if the change is slow, it does take time! But trying and struggling with that trying is better than just struggling without improvement. If you really need help then I do recommend seeing a therapist or councillor as well. If you can't afford one, lots of places have free councillors available through social services--take advantage if you have them around you because they are amazing people who are there to help you. 

It's never too late to try, it's never too late to start again. You can be happy, trust me. So please start taking steps. 

Much much love! 

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{life reflections} ~ when life knocks you down ~

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{life reflections}

 Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world. 

These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul. 

Reflections of life.  

I hope to leave you inspired. 

If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.

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This week has been filled with more tears and anxiety than I've felt in a long while. Boo hoo. Don't worry, I'm not going to write some miserable self-pitying post. I'm not that kind of person. I just wanted to share this with you to let you know that, despite all the positive tips and information I share on this blog, I too am human. Shocker I know. The truth is that I was indeed depressed for a good five years of my life and that takes some time to climb out of. There's a lot of old brain habits that need fixing and relearning. For the most part I am blissfully happy. For the most part I can easily pull myself out of a funk. But sometimes life throws curve balls, and those curve balls can right knock us on our asses and leave us in the dirt. But the funny thing about it is that when we fall down it's because life is trying to show us something. When we fall, it's because there is something we're meant to find down there. I truly believe and know this to be true. Again, you can find the positive in any situation, so why not do so? We wouldn't fall so hard either if there wasn't something still in our minds that we hadn't yet resolved. Sometimes we think we've got it all figured out, or at least mostly; we think we've settled our demons and moved forwards. Sometimes we have. Sometimes it may surprise us to learn that we haven't quite yet. This was my case this week. As it is with most people, there were some issues that I hadn't yet resolved. 

For some reason, perhaps through old habits, I have the suborn tendency to shut myself off, especially from my husband who is closest to me. Don't do this. I will tell you up front to never push people away or block yourself off, because it simply does more damage than good. I know this. I learned this the hard way. I still struggle with it--again, those old brain habits that like to make doing the right thing more difficult sometimes. But talking helps. I know that the Law of Attraction teaches us that the more we talk about our problems then the more we manifest them. While this is true, you also have to learn a balance. If you don't first talk about your problems then they will never get resolved, and if they never get resolved then you will not be able to move forward and use the Law of Attraction to attract positive things anyway. So talk. Talk, talk, talk. Through talking we have realizations--it helps to talk out loud because it gets our thoughts running and can help us realize many helpful things to move forwards. Again, though, learn balance. If you are constantly depressed and need someone to talk to then it is great to have a family member or friend to confide in, but realize that some things are best left to talk to a professional, because otherwise your relationship may become more about the negative than the positive and you don't want that either. I can't say enough about how much a councillor can help you. Seek one out. Talk their ear off. They have words of wisdom for you and they will help you learn about yourself and How to let go of your past. They are wonderful people who can help you, so don't overlook them. If you don't find a councillor you like at the first go of it, then find another one. Find one that you are compatible with and comfortable with. It helps. Trust me, because I've been there and mine helped me make one of the biggest leaps in my recovery. 

So, talk. When you get your thoughts out there you can reach some conclusions. Sit down with yourself as well and write out your thoughts. I always say writing is an amazing practice because it truly allows your thoughts to free flow, and when our thoughts free flow so do the realizations. I know, I'm being a bit repetitive, but bottling things up is counter-productive, don't just sweep your problems under a rug. You may be very good at keeping those problems safely concealed beneath that rug, but eventually the mess will come spilling out into your life and it may not be pretty when it all comes rushing out all at once as these things tend to do. When a problem arises, work through it. Make yourself reach some sort of positive conclusion and outlook that allows you to move forward. Chances are, it may resurface down the road. Again, these things can take time. Be patient, and realize that this too shall pass. At the end of the day, your attitude still counts for everything and you still always have a choice to be happy again. 

[photo credit: mcshredalot]

For myself? There are a few issues I am currently working on, and I plan to work through them every day until I feel better instead of sweeping them back under the rug. I plan to write down a new way of thinking to embed it into my mind until I can come to peace with certain things. Because I know it works and I know that I can heal as I have already done so much of. I plan to push myself into that unreasonable happy state by practicing all the lessons I've learned and generally focussing on that Positive Mental Attitude, reminding myself of Who I Am, and repeating every day that life is beautiful and full of happiness. 

It has also pushed me to finally finish that "Happiness Guide" that I've been working on and the "Happiness Bootcamp" zine, because what better time than to be able to practice it on myself as a guinea pig? ;) 

I wish you all a blissful weekend and all the love and happiness in the world. Remember that we all fall, we can all be vulnerable, but we all within us contain the remarkable ability to heal, to move forwards, and to smile in the face of anything. 

Much Love! 

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☺ Bianca's "Recovery" Tips to Happiness ☺

One day I had hoped to write a mini auto-biography of all the things I went through in my life. I wanted my story to be an example to others to show that it doesn't matter what has happened in your life, you can always make a recovery and be Happy. But, I started to write this story, and it just made me sad. It wasn't the inspiring story that I felt that I would be writing. Understandably, I don't like dwelling on the past. It's not that I want to just forget it ever happened, but I no longer dwell on it and focus on the negatives. I am so incredibly grateful for everything that has happened to me, it all made me who I am today and I love love love who I am today. I am very very grateful for my past and that was a huge step in recovering to happiness. 

I didn't always feel this way about my past, not by a long shot. I will never write an autobiography. There is no point in retelling another depressing story. That doesn't make others feel good. I understand that it's inspiring to know that anyone can be happy, but I see the people who read all these depressing life stories because it's "inspiring" to hear other people's hard lives and know that they recovered, and those people are not happy people. If you spend so much of your time reading about other people's sad lives then it's not exactly going to fill you with a sense of happiness. Hope, maybe. But hope is nothing if you don't make changes in your life and shift your attention onto the positive. This is why I will never write an autobiography. 

I will however tell you this, to give you an understanding of where I came from, who I was then, and who I am now. 

I was depressed for years, suicidal, and used some negative outlets to "cope," again, the details and reasons to that depression I'm not diving into. I wallowed in that depression for years. I just didn't have the motivation to pick myself out of it and I didn't have the resources or inspiration to push me out either. This is why I write this blog, this is why I try to reach as many people as possible, to help others feel inspired and take that first step to better their lives. 

I also hated my body, I hated everything about myself. I thought no one liked me, I had no friends, I had no self-worth. My life was a miserable mess. 

*big deep breath*

Finally, I got my first push. At first they were little whispers of songs or words I'd hear, but eventually the charge to change became more burning inside of me and I finally really took the steps to better myself and my life. I took charge to Be Happy. The climb was a bit slow, I think it is for many of us when we don't really know what we're doing, we just know that we Want to feel better. 

My journey towards happiness would have been much faster and smoother if I'd had a blog to read like this, if I'd sought out positive sources sooner and if I'd one all the things I'm about to mention sooner.

Today, I love myself. I love my life. I am the happiest, most optimistic, positive little butterfly you'll ever encounter. Life still has ups and downs, life always will, but when the downs come along I know how to roll with them, to use them, to learn something from, and get back on that upbeat happy path. 

This post is to share with you some of the things that really helped me on my path--things that I wish I'd found sooner. All of the following points I am going to go over were essential and absolutely necessary on my healing path, which is why I am sharing them with you. 

Okay, so without further ado, Bianca's "Recovery" Resources…  

Books, Movies, and Reads: 

Books keep our minds fresh and I recommend reading often. A lot of the information you'll read in "self-help" type books will be similar, just told in different ways. Read them all. Hearing something over and over again is Good--when this information is positive and helpful-- because it will engrave new ideas into your head and create new brain patterns and habits. Changing your attitude and life takes time and repetition of these new concepts. So surround yourself with positive helpful information. 

"Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. This book Changed my life in every way possible. It was the book that made the light go on. The book that changed everything. The book that taught me all of my valuable lessons to improve my life and my attitude. 

"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I only read this book about a year ago, but I think it would have been very useful early on! The Law of Attraction is everything and it has definitely given me that final boost in all aspects of my life. It is a Must read! 

"The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff. Fantastic! A simple quick and fun read that teaches you the principles of Taoism through Winnie the Pooh characters. What's not to love? Again, very useful in teaching you the best ways to live life, to use whatever comes your way, and to have the right attitude. 

"The Te of Piglet" a sort of "sequel" but with different valuable information. 

"The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. This was actually the first "spiritual" "self-improvement" book that I read. It's a fantastic read and very useful in understanding energies, human behaviours and patterns. There is a three-book series, but this was the most valuable one to me. 

Here are a couple other wonderful books that I've read that I found useful that weren't necessarily the ones that "changed my life" but certainly fantastic reads that helped along the way:

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle 

"Friendship with God" by Neale Donald Walsch

"What the Bleep do we know?" This movie is fantastic, amazing, and, again, one of those essential must-watch items. It teaches us why we do certain things, behave certain ways, and fall back into old habits. The more we know the more we can have an understanding of ourselves and therefor change ourselves. Watch it immediately! 

Aside from these, I surround my life with other positive reads, like lots of positive blog posts (which is why I write this blog!), positive phrases and quotes. My Facebook, tumblr, and Pinterest are Filled to the brim with positivity, I make sure I'm around it all the time and widdle away any negatives that remain. 

Changed my Diet: Cutting out foods I was allergic to, processed foods, refined sugars (this is a Huge one!), and general foods that make you feel "blah." This is essential and so many people miss this step! If you want to feel good, if you want your brain to heal, then give it energy and food it can actually use! 

Exercise! I tried a few times but never really gave exercise a chance because I didn't feel like it helped. However, when my life took it's biggest boosts in overall happiness, I also started to exercise regularly. Almost every day for half an hour. But any kind of regular exercise will help. I promise. 

Affirmations! I wrote down practically every single day (and still do) what I wanted in life, what I was grateful for, why I loved myself, and why I loved life. I didn't even know about the Law of Attraction at the time, but this practice helps tremendously! It is Essential! It's a daily refresher for your brain, and part of changing your life to being Happy and recovering is to break on brain habits and form new ones. Writing is the key to changing those brain patterns. 

Councillor Sessions. If I had never gone to a councillor I am quite convinced that I would not be where I am today. My problems, like most, were deep routed from past experiences and traumas. In order for me to get through those I had to see this councillor. I did what was called an "EMDR" session which allowed me to revisit my past and gain a better understanding and peace of mind over things that happened. I was able to let it go. I highly recommend seeing a councillor and, if you can, getting an EMDR session done. I felt like I was walking on clouds after that session, no joke! 

Took 5-HTP. My endorphins were low due to years of being depressed. It happens to anyone who's depressed. I absolutely 100% disagree with medical anti-depressants. However, I do believe in natural remedies that can help you out. Things like 5-HTP and St John's Wort are amazing for bringing your endorphin levels back to a healthy level. I took 5-HTP for several years (apparently you're not supposed to take it for quite that long *oops*) and eventually, when I was ready, weened myself off. It was one of those things that I kind of felt didn't help because it was very subtle, but whenever I'd stop taking them all of a sudden I would become so easily overwhelmed and stressed out. So, remember, sometimes things may seem subtle, but they actually do help tremendously. St John's Wort I also took a few times but generally couldn't because it interferes with birth control pills. 

Getting off Birth Control Pills. This was another one of those things that was essential to my healing. I don't care what anyone says, putting unnatural hormones into your body can Not be healthy for you. It messes up with your body's natural ability to do anything. They made me crazy. I tried so many different ones too. At first I didn't think they affected me negatively, but I was already depressed and emotional, so how was I supposed to tell? Going off them was one of the best steps I took. My hormones are still trying to mellow out, even after 4 years, but even so I feel tremendously better and aligned with myself.  

Positive Environment: Spending too much time with the wrong people is incredibly damaging. I had to remove certain people from my life, limit contact with others, and try to surround myself with positive like-minded people. People change, friends change, family changes. Adapt and make your world positive. You don't have to be mean, you just have to do what's right for you and beneficial to your healing environment. I had some amazing people around me that were huge sources of inspiration so I highly recommend spending as much time as possible with these people who really benefit you. 

Picking up a Positive Mental Attitude: Picking up the attitude of being Positive in the face of anything and everything seriously helped with all the bumps that came along. But I wasn't able to fully pick up this attitude until I did all of the points above. Do your best, it gets easier and more natural the longer you have this attitude. 

These are the biggest most important changes I made in my life. Like I already said, these were all essential to my healing. And now I can look back and be so grateful for my past, my present, and anything that comes my way. All the inspirational posts I write on this blog are part of that learning and healing process that I took, the lessons that were very valuable and healing in my recovery. I write this blog to pass on those lessons to you, to help you on your own path, and to inspire you to make positive changes. 

Remember to never get discouraged, to always stay hopeful, to do your best, and try to smile and focus on good things every single day. Work on your self every single day. Every day gets easier. Even if you experience the downs among the ups, you are still generally heading on a path upward, even if it can feel pretty rough sometimes. You are trying and you are working on your self, which means you're ahead from doing nothing. 

I hope this helps you! Know that I love you all very very much! 

Create a Nice Day! xo

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