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Weekly thoughts and rambles. A glimpse into my mind and world.
These are entries that I might jot down in my Happy Diary; what happens when we put our fingers to the keyboard and allow our thoughts to flow uninhibited. Reflections from the soul.
Reflections of life.
I hope to leave you inspired.
If you want to share your own reflections of the week please leave a link to your "life reflections" entry in the comments for all to find and see.
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This week has been filled with more tears and anxiety than I've felt in a long while. Boo hoo. Don't worry, I'm not going to write some miserable self-pitying post. I'm not that kind of person. I just wanted to share this with you to let you know that, despite all the positive tips and information I share on this blog, I too am human. Shocker I know. The truth is that I was indeed depressed for a good five years of my life and that takes some time to climb out of. There's a lot of old brain habits that need fixing and relearning. For the most part I am blissfully happy. For the most part I can easily pull myself out of a funk. But sometimes life throws curve balls, and those curve balls can right knock us on our asses and leave us in the dirt. But the funny thing about it is that when we fall down it's because life is trying to show us something. When we fall, it's because there is something we're meant to find down there. I truly believe and know this to be true. Again, you can find the positive in any situation, so why not do so? We wouldn't fall so hard either if there wasn't something still in our minds that we hadn't yet resolved. Sometimes we think we've got it all figured out, or at least mostly; we think we've settled our demons and moved forwards. Sometimes we have. Sometimes it may surprise us to learn that we haven't quite yet. This was my case this week. As it is with most people, there were some issues that I hadn't yet resolved.
For some reason, perhaps through old habits, I have the suborn tendency to shut myself off, especially from my husband who is closest to me. Don't do this. I will tell you up front to never push people away or block yourself off, because it simply does more damage than good. I know this. I learned this the hard way. I still struggle with it--again, those old brain habits that like to make doing the right thing more difficult sometimes. But talking helps. I know that the Law of Attraction teaches us that the more we talk about our problems then the more we manifest them. While this is true, you also have to learn a balance. If you don't first talk about your problems then they will never get resolved, and if they never get resolved then you will not be able to move forward and use the Law of Attraction to attract positive things anyway. So talk. Talk, talk, talk. Through talking we have realizations--it helps to talk out loud because it gets our thoughts running and can help us realize many helpful things to move forwards. Again, though, learn balance. If you are constantly depressed and need someone to talk to then it is great to have a family member or friend to confide in, but realize that some things are best left to talk to a professional, because otherwise your relationship may become more about the negative than the positive and you don't want that either. I can't say enough about how much a councillor can help you. Seek one out. Talk their ear off. They have words of wisdom for you and they will help you learn about yourself and How to let go of your past. They are wonderful people who can help you, so don't overlook them. If you don't find a councillor you like at the first go of it, then find another one. Find one that you are compatible with and comfortable with. It helps. Trust me, because I've been there and mine helped me make one of the biggest leaps in my recovery.
So, talk. When you get your thoughts out there you can reach some conclusions. Sit down with yourself as well and write out your thoughts. I always say writing is an amazing practice because it truly allows your thoughts to free flow, and when our thoughts free flow so do the realizations. I know, I'm being a bit repetitive, but bottling things up is counter-productive, don't just sweep your problems under a rug. You may be very good at keeping those problems safely concealed beneath that rug, but eventually the mess will come spilling out into your life and it may not be pretty when it all comes rushing out all at once as these things tend to do. When a problem arises, work through it. Make yourself reach some sort of positive conclusion and outlook that allows you to move forward. Chances are, it may resurface down the road. Again, these things can take time. Be patient, and realize that this too shall pass. At the end of the day, your attitude still counts for everything and you still always have a choice to be happy again.
[photo credit: mcshredalot]
For myself? There are a few issues I am currently working on, and I plan to work through them every day until I feel better instead of sweeping them back under the rug. I plan to write down a new way of thinking to embed it into my mind until I can come to peace with certain things. Because I know it works and I know that I can heal as I have already done so much of. I plan to push myself into that unreasonable happy state by practicing all the lessons I've learned and generally focussing on that Positive Mental Attitude, reminding myself of Who I Am, and repeating every day that life is beautiful and full of happiness.
It has also pushed me to finally finish that "Happiness Guide" that I've been working on and the "Happiness Bootcamp" zine, because what better time than to be able to practice it on myself as a guinea pig? ;)
I wish you all a blissful weekend and all the love and happiness in the world. Remember that we all fall, we can all be vulnerable, but we all within us contain the remarkable ability to heal, to move forwards, and to smile in the face of anything.
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