Don't Neglect the Past.
We can use the past absolutely to our advantage, however we often misuse it completely by either getting stuck in it, or by trying to neglect it.
The past holds many answers to our current behaviours, attitudes, and habits. Neglecting the past won't help you move forwards. If you want to let the past go then you need to go back and come to terms with it. If you can do this then you will actually be able to let it go and live in the present moment and be able to direct your future. Otherwise, the past will keep coming up with a negative attitude to rain on your parade. You don't want to live in the past, you want to live in the present, and if you want to do that then you need to let go of whatever haunts you from that past. If you don't find resolution with the past then you will, at an unaware level, still be living in it because you allow it to shape your every day attitudes and actions.
Bad habits and attitudes are usually a result of your previous experiences, from behaviours or attitudes you've picked up along your journey. Do yourself a favour and the next time you turn to a bad habit or have a negative attitude towards something or someone, try to consciously be aware of the trigger. If that isn't clear to you right away then just continue to pay attention and eventually you'll be able to connect the dots. Once you've figured out why and where these things come from then you'll be able to address them appropriately and change your attitude and actions.
Understand that the past isn't a bad thing. Those experiences needed to happen in order for you to be who you are today. However, those bad attitudes learned from our pasts are often deeply routed. We were either too young or in a negative situation so were unable to see those experiences as lessons to build character and strength and instead allow them to consume us in the present. But you have the ability Now, with a new awareness, to revisit those experiences and draw out the positive so that you can come to peace with it and move forwards. And this is the point that I am going to recommend getting help from a good councillor, therapist, psychiatrist, or whatever feels in line with you. But I highly recommend seeking out this help outside of yourself. It's not a shameful, embarrassing, or self-defeating thing to seek out help from another. People are all around us to help us along our journeys, we cannot, and are not meant to, go on this journey completely alone. Be willing to seek out help so that you may move forward, learn something deeper about yourself, and live a better present and future.
I finally gained the courage to call a councillor a few years ago. Best choice I could have made. I was very resistant to it, as most are, but finally hit a breaking point and decided I had nothing to lose. By going, I was able to heal and move forwards and come to terms with my past with peace, understanding, wisdom, and forgiveness. I truly believe if I hadn't got that help then I wouldn't be where I am today. My councillor recommended doing what's called an "EMDR" session with me after a few visits and this in particular was what helped me accept the past and see it with new eyes and a new attitude. Most of my problems, like most people, stemmed from things that had happened in my past, and therefor it was essential for me to revisit those experiences in order to gain a new perspective and to gain control of my life today. If I hadn't gone then my life today could still be a mess and run amuck because I wouldn't have an understanding of those negative emotions and reactions and been able to release them.
Again, the past is not a bad thing, those experiences were not bad experiences, they were building blocks for our lives today. And perhaps you're wondering; what if you don't like your life today? Then you have the power to change that too. In fact, chances are, if you haven't come to peace with your past yet, that's exactly why you're unable to enjoy your life today. But it doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't have to be that way at all. You have the power already inside yourself to seek out the lessons and the positive, to see those building blocks and rebuild a happy and positive life. You can build the life you've always dream of. But you must release the past. And releasing the past doesn't happen by neglecting it. It happens by coming to terms with it, from making peace with it. And then it can lay peacefully where it belongs, in the past, while your life today blossoms into a more wonderful direction, enriched by those experiences but gets to be where it should be--in the present. The past will always be there, in memory and as a source that shaped you today. What you walk away with is up to you. You get to choose. But you must address the issues instead of sweeping them under the carpet and ignoring them, because they will always, and most likely consistently, remain to harass you until you do.
You won't change anything in your life or about yourself until you seek out that change within yourself. Everyone has things from their past that effect them today. If people didn't then you wouldn't have grown, learned, evolved, or changed. It's your choice to use the past as a constructive tool to enrich your life today instead of getting trapped in those past experiences. Come to peace with your past, let it go, apply the lessons you learned today, and live in the moment so that you can love and enjoy it all.
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