I couldn't quite decide what to blog about today, and then it occurred to me; the thing I have been struggling with lately, the Move to a new city.
That's right, today's post is a bit more of an inward look. I'm far from perfect and I struggle at times with things as well. The point is to realize what isn't working in your life so that you can correct it.
The move has been a mixed blessing, as any Change seems to be. Probably has something to do with our human nature to resist change. Well, I have learned better, so it's time to look at things more positively no?
So here's the question: What do You struggle most with when you move to a new city?
For myself, Friends seems to be the big one. I have always had a hard time with friends for some reason, very likely some deeper routed issue that goes back to my childhood. Regardless, I have a hard time meeting new people. I work from home. I don't have a whole lot of hobbies that get me "out there". So how does one approach this issue?
I like people, that's not the issue. Perhaps I'm a tad picky when it comes to real friends though. I mean, REAL friends. You know, the ones that you can share anything with and would do anything for. I miss mine back in Edmonton. But moving to new places means lifestyle changes and time to step out of ones usual habits and comfort zone and get to know new people, right? Well, at least I think so.
(myself and my two favorite sweethearts back in Edmonton)
I have debated even getting a part-time job that gets me at least a bit more out in the public. Yoga is another one I'd like to pick up this week. I'm also debating getting back into Skateboarding for the simple reason that there is a Girl's Skate night every Thursday here.
So, I guess this has two questions and a bit of rambling on my part ;p
How do You meet new people and friends? How did you meet your closest friend?
And what you find intimidating about a new city?
Let's hear your stories and ideas!
Peace & Love,
xo
~Bianca
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I haven't yet moved out of my hometown, though I will be in the not so distant future... So all my friends I've met either at school/uni or at work...
ReplyDeleteI've met people everywhere: school, work, social outings, parties, bars, concerts, through mutual friends. I met some of my friends at my local bar/club. We were all regulars, so it made sense that we became friends. I don't think I've ever made any friends through hobby groups/circles, but I think you should try skate night and yoga!
ReplyDeleteI met my closest friends through my ex, in college, and on Attackofthecraft.com. :D
The most intimidating thing about a new city is working out transportation issues, whether it's learning the cityscape, learning public transportation routes, or figuring out how to get places and navigate through local traffic.
yes, my other problem I suppose I should say is I'm not much of a drinker or a bar gal which seems to be a key area to meet people. Plus we're in a smaller city now so not a whooole lot of concerts, though I should check out the smaller club gigs to see whats cookin :)
ReplyDeletePili, I'm actually BACK in my hometown lol. But I'm not the same person I was almost 4 years ago and had the same social problems (..no wait, worse social problems) back then. I'm back to square one essentially lol.
But I'm being more positive :) I'm determined to meet people. really, I'm in a city where it should be easy to meet like-minded people. Its a total hippie earth town lol. :p
I feel the same way, my hobbies keep my locked up inside away from other human creatures! And I've been a wallflower my entire life, so my social skills really suck. I moved to a totally new city and state a little over a year ago, and it was really tough at first. It can be difficult to find places to hang out in a new city, there's a lot of trial and error. I'd say my biggest problem was not really knowing anyone besides my boyfriend, which can cause a lot of relationship issues.
ReplyDeleteI never really "met" my closest friend, we were raised in diapers together, our moms being close friends as well. She's my rock. ^_^
I like to meet new people online, it just feels easier to find a place where you know you can automatically connect with folks. (Like AotC, and Etsy for exmaple). I actually have a really good pen pal that I would consider one of my closest friends that I met online when I was 12.
Im still working on making friends closer to home. I really need to get out more. I think the easiest way for me to make friends though would be to take some sort of classes. Sewing, art, or perhaps just boring general education classes at the local college...
-Nycole
I love the online world and at the same time it bothers me :P I'm such an outdoors person, I'd much rather be able to go out and actually hang out with people instead of over the internet :( plus all that bad energy emitted by computers just ruins my mood and friends are supposed to make you happy :) haha. but there are so many amazing people I've "met" online, like at AoTC :) I wish I could actually see these people in reality :)
ReplyDeleteI'm working on my social skills cuz mine definitely need work. The more confident in myself I get the easier it seems to be though. I'm not longer ashamed of any part of me. Perhaps I am still afraid of rejection though, I think thats the big one I have to get over as far as letting down walls and letting people in
Your initial move is more than I think I could handle! Way to go Bianca! Baby steps I'd take and your stepping in the right direction. ( but you knew that! ) I have anxiety issues. When I'm comfortable and in my usual surroundings, you'd never know. I have moved once as a kid and it was horrible. I cried every day of my 7th grade after school. I did however meet my awesome hubby in 10th grade so I guess it was meant to be that my family moved. :) I meet a lot of people through my kids and sports and activities related to kids things.
ReplyDeleteYoga sounds like a start to meet people. :) Do they have markets in your town for say fresh veggies and such and maybe you'd see the same workers there and someone you can connect with.. I know you do your own hair sometimes but maybe there's a hairdresser that you would love or she could give you some ideas you'd like to do in town...do they have a coffee shop where you could get some organic tea and maybe meet people? I was a manager or a gormet coffee shop and met some awesome customers!!!
Well I'm def. thinking of you!!! your beautiful inside and out and someone's very lucky to meet you!
aww, thats so sad that you were so upset over the move! My family traveled and move alllll the time so I think thats why I never really got to develop some social skills or make good solid friends at a young age :p but who knows, its no reason I cant work on those things now :)
ReplyDeleteI had thought of going to coffee shops, but I can be so shy sometimes haha :P but that is something I need to work on so perhaps that is where I should be working on that skill :p and there is a market here that I want to sell stuff at come summer and spring again when it reopens. its right up my alley, but that one has to wait for now.
Thanks Jackie for all the advice and love and support, you rock <3