Friday, May 4, 2012

☺ I am Responsible for My Own Happiness ☺


Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. 
Being happy starts with one simple step; a choice to be Happy. With that choice comes the responsibility to continue to be happy. No one else can give happiness to you or take it away from you. You are the decider, the chooser, the mind behind the feeling of contentment and the choice to smile. This is why there are optimists in the world, and why there are pessimists in the world. One has chosen to accept responsibility of their own happiness and chosen to Be happy. The other rejects this responsibility and blames the world, therefor will never truly feel unreasonable happiness. 
Remember this: No one can make you feel badly without your consent. No situation can make you feel miserable without your allowing it to. Nothing in life can bring you down without your decision to allow it to. You are Responsible for your own Happiness. You are responsible for the choice to be happy, the choice to let things affect you, the choice to be who you want to be at all times. Likewise, nothing can make you feel happy without your consent, nothing can make you smile without your consent, nothing can make you feel good without your consent. You are the decider, the chooser, the source of your own happiness. 
People often feel like they need certain things in their lives in order to be happy. Those thoughts are products of your own imagination and, at the end of the day, are just excuses or places to put the blame. Your Happiness is always dependent on you. You don't need a big house, a partner, material things, or anything else, all you need is You and you will always have You. Look at it this way; people usually go through plenty of relationships in their lives, whether it's a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, friend, pet, family member, etc. The relationships change, people leave your life and new people enter your life, but your happiness is always there, left for you to pick up whenever you please. Your happiness is not dependent on these other people or possessions or things, they are dependent on You. If you need further proof of this, you need only look to the pessimist who has everything but does not appreciate or enjoy it, meanwhile the person who has nothing can be absolutely fulfilled with their lives. Because happiness is dependent on You. 
The nice thing about happiness, though, is that when you are genuinely happy then more things for you to be happy about will enter your life. When you start relying on yourself for happiness, everything else seems to flow more smoothly and consistently with joy. Good things will come your way. Guaranteed.   

This may be a lot to take in, but this responsibility will change your life. I've talked before about taking responsibility for your own life, taking responsibility for your own happiness is the next step in this. But this should not be daunting, it should be freeing and exciting. The fountain of your happiness is already inside of you, and it always has been. It is up to you to give it life and make it flow easily or cause it to dry up. Many of us have allowed the conditions of life and society to make that fountain dry up. But that's okay, all it needs is some maintenance to get it flowing again. And that's where you come in, because only You can make it flow freely again. 
No one is responsible for your own Happiness but You. Until you can accept this, you will struggle with the ups and downs of life because you won't accept that only You are in charge of your happiness. You have control over your happiness! Think about how magnificent and freeing this truly is! Suddenly the world can open for you! You are allowed to feel Happy in the face of other people's bad attitudes. You are allowed to feel Happy when unfavourable experiences enter your life. 
Of course, you'll learn tricks along the way to maintain that happiness and to be happy effortlessly in the face of anything. It is achievable, but you are the sole person responsible for achieving that. You are also responsible for the choices you need to take for happiness to flow easily. You are responsible for learning and growing and transforming into the highest, truest, Self you can be. You are responsible for surrounding yourself with positive people and situations. You are responsible for reading books, articles, or blogs that will help you to increase your depth of happiness. You are responsible for meditating, being in nature, listening to positive music, and anything else that will increase your depth of happiness. You are responsible for choosing to make the right steps towards the easy flow of your happiness. 
Yes, there are people that will come into your life that are "mean" or situations that happen that are unfavourable, but do these things have to affect your happiness? Absolutely not. I'm not saying you should "grow a pair" and never feel emotion, it's very healthy to feel emotion (see this article on that) and you should absolutely be in touch with those emotions. What I'm saying is that you don't have to let those people or situations drag you down with them. You still get a choice at the end of each day, at the end of each Moment, to smile and be happy. 
In stressful situations, it is up to you to say "try me!" instead of "why me?" and look for what the problem has come to teach you. It is your job to ask questions and see the lesson that will enrich your life. Surrender to the experience instead of resisting it. Even if you struggle, even if you fall down, you can always get back up and you can always Try, because that happy mood will always be there waiting for you again. 

The responsibility of your happiness lies on your shoulders. You cannot place the blame anywhere else. If you're in a bad mood it's no one else's fault but your own. It's not the crappy waiter, your partner not listening to you, the bad news, or anything else. It's you! Because you get to choose your attitude at all times. All times! You don't have to let any of those pestering people or situations bring you down, you can still feel on top of the world! In fact, if you choose to still feel happiness in the face of those disgruntled events, then you will change the course of your life, regardless, into something positive, because you will be drawing more positive and happy things to you. 
So take responsibility for your own happiness. Remember that no one else can give it to you or take it away from you. Get your ego out of the way, lose the blame game, and love others with all your heart. Love your life with all your heart. Love your life with all your heart. And watch the magic of happiness become your existence. Choose to Be Happy. 


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  1. Wonderful article, Bianca! Today I've been having one of those days when you feel like complaining, but every time I caught myself grumbling about it in my own head I kept telling myself to think positive thoughts, and it's working, as always!

    Also, you need a design in the shop that says "Choose to Be Happy!!"

  2. oooh I do! I have my "Be Happy" batty but not "choose to be happy" or on a shirt yet either. *ponders*

  3. How do you overcome the absence of love in this equation? Being loved or loving someone else? How do you MAKE yourself love others. And how do you overcome constantly being rejected by those you love and want in your life.

    1. Love starts with yourself, always always. Usually the rejection we feel around us is much deeper than what it actually is, because we take things on an extremely personal level when we feel vulnerable and have that sense of rejection already. I've been in the same place many times over and some things are hard not to take personally, but you have to remind yourself that rejection from other people usually has more to do with them than with you.
      Start with Love for yourself. The more you love yourself, the more you are able to love those around you. The more you love yourself, the more you will find yourself trying to fit in with the wrong people and relationships. The more you love yourself, the more you open up yourself to the right people and to the right kind of love--because then it's a love that you genuinely feel that you deserve, from a good place. If we don't love ourselves then we don't feel deserving of love from others, and therefore aren't inviting it into our lives.


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