Thursday, June 14, 2012

☺ Learning to Stop Judging ☺

Judging others: we all do it entirely too much and for no good reason. But the truth is, judging others is really just a reflection of ourselves, of our own insecurities, of our own issues, and what we need to work on in life. Life is about individuality, freedom of choice, expression of your self in any way you please. Life is about making our own mistakes so that we can learn from them, and about making our own decisions, whether or not others view them as "bad" or "good." So stop with the hate and scrutiny, and judgment. Everyone is perfectly imperfect in their own beautiful individuality. Everyone's story and life is their own. Their mistakes are theirs to make just as their life is theirs to live. 
Most of us can't honestly say that we never judge. We have at some point in our lives, whether we'll admit to it or not. A lot of this is mild. Most of this is conditioned beliefs and society-based. Most of this is also a problem with ourselves, not the other person. I know plenty of people that were judged by their first appearance and then turned out to be amazing wonderful people. I know others that were judged by their actions, simply because others didn't agree with something they were doing. But judging is automatic most of the time, never taking the moment to stop and attempt to place yourself in another's shoes, never taking a moment to stop and accept that you are not always right, that you don't know everything, and that, no, you don't understand. So what possible reason is there to judge another? None. Period. 

The truth is that, usually, we will never walk a mile in another's shoes and we will never truly understand another person's thought process or decisions. But you don't have to. All you have to do is give others the respect and kindness they deserve and space to be who they want to be and do what they want. Obviously, this goes without saying that you should never put yourself in a personally damaging situation. It also goes without saying that sometimes people need help when they are being self-destructive. But that still doesn't warrant you to be the Judgement Police. Be kind, loving, open-minded, and open-hearted. Be there for people without the baggage of unhelpful scrutiny. Judgement simply has no place and is never helpful. It is just another way for us to lash out when we have problems with ourselves and with our own lives. Beware of this deflecting habit.

Don't worry, I'm not calling you out for judging others. And I'm not judging you for judging others either ;). It doesn't make you a bad person for judging, so don't feel badly. Again, we have grown up in a society that conditions us to believe certain things, to hold certain values, and a whole lot of brainwashing that has lead to our judging of others. It takes time and work to break free of these embedded thought habits. We also live in a society that teaches us to deflect our own problems onto others. So what I'm simply drawing to your attention is that everyone is guilty of judging but that it should stop. I'd like to believe, after all, that we are moving towards a more positive and loving and open-minded future.  
If you catch yourself being judgemental towards others, stop and turn the thought around. Say something nice about the person instead. The other thing to do when you catch yourself judging another, is to think about why you are doing so. Reflect and think it through carefully and try to come to a conclusion about yourself, not about the other person. If you can't find a conclusion then you're not thinking hard enough. The only problem we have with other people is that they are contradicting one of our values, or they have something that we don't--whether it's something physical, material, or within--or it's simply us deflecting other problems we are experiencing in our lives. Watch out for jealousy, one of judgment's other perpetrators. 
It takes practice and it takes times, and even when you think you've got it figured out, you still might find yourself accidentally judging another person. The point is to work on this attitude as much as possible. Remember that we are all one in the same. We are all on this planet together. We are all going through something. And many of us have been in similar situations. One thing that made me learn the hard way about judging is when I used to judge others for their habits or decisions, I used to think some things people did were "bad." It wasn't until I found myself in a similar situation that I had a better understanding of why people did those things. I vowed to stop judging then and there. People always have a reason, and we will never fully understand why. So, again, there is simply no place for judgment.  The simple fact is this: we are no one but ourselves, you are not the person you are judging. People come in all types, personalities, and walks of life. And there is something positively beautiful and inspiring about this.

Learn to be Curious not Judgmental. Respect others as human beings, we're all on this planet together after all. 
We all need to practice a little more sympathy, understanding, compassion, and love for one another. No more Judging. Free your mind of hatred. It is that simple. Can you make the first step? I say go for it! Practice makes perfect. And you'll find a definite lift in your own heart once you start and a deeper sense of understanding and compassion. 


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1 comment:

  1. So so so so so so so so soooo true!!

    Curiousity is a much nicer thing!


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